From Beginning To End
by the fish is dead
Summary: Love, lose, learn. The journey of Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin through the fifth and sixth books. Their relationship, their thoughts, and their life. Sometimes love comes when you least expect it.
1. The First Time

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter.

Chapter One: The First Time

There was a soft knock at the door. Six-year old Nymphadora Tonks sat bolt upright on her bed and promptly dropped the comic she was reading. She waited patiently until she heard her mothers voice call out anxiously: "Who is it?"

Tonks could almost hear the person behind the door smile. "It's Sirius, Andromeda!"

Tonks squealed and ran to the door, slamming it open, proceeding to jump up and wring her arms around her favourite relatives neck. "Sirius, Sirius, I had been so bored lately, there's been nothin' t'do since-!"

Tonks stopped short and glanced around behind Sirius at the three men who were awkwardly standing there.

She drew her eyes back to Sirius and said sharply, "Who're they?" She wanted no one to interrupt her 'Sirius time'.

Sirius put her down, grinning hugely. "These are my three best friends," he gestured lazily toward the men, two of them managing a weak smile, the other staring pointedly down at his shoes. "I know you'll like them as much as I do," he added, chuckling slightly.

Tonks now looked at the men with growing curiosity. As they came stepped in, and Andromeda quickly stepped in to take their coats, Tonks studied them carefully.

One was rather tall and had very untidy jet-black hair, which he ruffled up ever so often, giving it the effect as though he had just stepped off his broomstick. That man had deep hazel eyes under a set of thick-rimmed glasses, which were inspecting the premises carefully.

The other man, the one who had looked down at his shoes when the others smiled, was extremely short and had almost colourless hair. His pointed nose reminded Tonks shrewdly of a rat. His eyes were very watery and unfocused, and he looked as though he'd rather been anywhere but here.

The last man Tonks found the most interesting and vowed to get to know him better. He was tall, though not as tall as the first man, and had light brown hair, and greyish-blue eyes which sparkled beautifully in the dim light. He looked extremely tired and from all the lines on his face it made him look older than he was, as Tonks knew he could be no older than her nineteen-year-old second cousin.

After awhile, the man noticed Tonks staring at him and smiled warmly at her. Tonks immediately loved that smile.

The man walked forward and greeted her. "Hello," he said, crouching down so he was eye-level with her. "My name's Remus Lupin. You're Nymphadora, correct?"

Tonks glared at him angrily, "I i prefer /i t'be called 'Tonks' a'tually. 'Nymphadora' is too long and…bothersome," she ended lamely, with a dramatic sigh.

Remus beamed at her. "Ah, I see. Though I have to say, I think 'Nymphadora' is a very pretty name." Just then, the man with the messy black hair and glasses strode smoothly up to them.

"Hey Tonks, I'm James," He had a very silly grin of his face, as if something very good had just happened in his life.

James turned to Sirius, who was chatting loudly with Andromeda and the other man. "Oi! Padfoot, I have to leave early to get home to…Lily." At this last word James' smile widened. "Oh, I can get used to saying that," he said dreamily, sitting back onto the armchair nearest them.

Sirius walked up to them, patting James on the shoulder softly and chuckling. "So, Tonks, what do you want to do? I'm up for anything you are."

Tonks pondered this for a moment before answering. "Can you teach me t'play Wizards Chess?" she asked timidly.

"Of course!" said Sirius cheerfully. "But Peter's the real pro at that."

Tonks figured this must be the last man. "So that's Peter?" she asked, pointing at the small watery-eyed man.

Sirius looked surprised. "Of course he is…! Wormtail, get over here!"

The man named Peter clumsily stalked over, slouching over so Tonks could barely see his face.

"Hullo," he said quietly, staring once more at his sneakers, which were quite dirty and untied.

Sirius and James rolled their eyes.

Tonks stole a glance in Remus' direction; he was gone.

Apparently just at that moment Sirius noticed this too. "Where's Moony?" he said, looking around Peter, as if he was hiding behind him.

"Over here!" a voice called back.

Tonks followed the sound of the voice into her very dusty living room. There, Remus had set up a game of Wizards Chess and was now straightening up the players, making everything perfect.

"Wow!" Tonks exclaimed, her eyes widening with surprise and joy. "Wow…thank-you, thank-you so, so much!" She ran up and hugged him tightly around the neck, just as she had done with Sirius earlier.

Remus blushed deep scarlet at this, but let her hug him for a while before prying her off.

"Ohhh, she likes you Moony," chanted Sirius, with an evil grin upon his handsome face.

James and Sirius roared with laughter, as did Peter. Remus sighed and rolled his eyes.

"So, Wormtail, you up for teaching little Tonks here to play Wizards Chess?" Sirius said, smiling like a madman.

Peter shrugged and excused himself for a moment to go and use the washroom. All three men exchanged glances at this.

"What's up with him lately?" asked James quietly, "He's not like himself."

Remus seemed to seriously ponder this when Sirius said, "Probably finally got himself a girl."

James laughed at this and nodded in agreement, while Remus remained silent.

"OK, so you want to learn Wizards Chess?" asked Peter from the doorway, surprising them all by his presence. Tonks jumped and crashed down on the chessboard, causing all the perfectly aligned pieces to fall all over the dirty carpet.

"Er! Sorry," said Tonks, blushing deeply. "I a'ways knock things over! I don't i mean /i too…"

But Sirius had already walked over to the board, and muttered "Reparo", which caused all the chess people to zoom up off the floor and land on the board just as perfectly aligned as ever.

Tonks squealed with joy at this, more for the neat display of magic than the fact she wouldn't have to pick them up.

"Oh, Sirius!" she exclaimed, hopping up and down with excitement, "That's so neat! I wish I could do magic! I can't wait 'til I finally getta go to Hogwarts! Is it pretty there? Is there i really /i a ghost called 'Nearly Headless Nick'? And, and, is there-"

Sirius interrupted her, though he obviously found her babbling funny, "You'll find out soon enough," he said simply. He turned to Peter, "So, back to Wizards Chess…?"

Peter nodded and immediately began to quickly explain the rules. After an hour or two of Tonks losing every game (as she refused to let them go easy on her and made them replay her if she thought they were) Andromeda came in and asked if they wanted a break from "The Little Tyke" as Tonks' mother so often called her.

"Honey, you can manage on your own for awhile, right? I have to have a little chat with the grown-ups. Just go play with your dolls…" Andromeda paused, remembering Tonks hated dolls and refused to play with them, "Or look at your comics," she ended. "Go on, off to your room."

Tonks nodded silently and started down the hallway, reluctantly going into her plain white room. She decided this was a good time to try and practice her metamorphmaging; as she still couldn't get the hang of it, yet she'd been practicing for years now. She held her breath and scrunched up her face in concentration.

After a few seconds of this, she felt an odd tingling sensation wash over her, starting at the top of her head down to the tip of her toes. For a moment she felt a little faint, then it all suddenly stopped.

Tonks touched her hair gingerly and gasped. It felt different, instead of her normal lank, mousy brown, her hair was short and springy. Tonks ran to the bathroom, peered into the mirror and shrieked with joy; her hair was curly blond!

Just then, Tonks heard rummaging around and the door click faintly from the living room.

They must be done talking! Thought Tonks happily.

She ran out, screeching happily, and began to point wildly at her beautiful new locks.

"Look, Mommy, I finally got it, I changed my hair, isn' it great? I'm so happy! Maybe I can change my nose now, I hate it so much…"

She stopped at the depressed looks on all their faces. She immediately wondered what they had been talking about. What could make them look so sad?

"That's great, honey," said her mother half-heartedly, managing a smile. "But you know, you have to be responsible about using your metamorphmaging powers, it's really something special, you know."

Sirius smiled and patted her softly on her head. "I'm so jealous," he said quietly, which took Tonks aback, as her older relative was generally loud and unruly. "I might be able to do magic, but not very many people can do that." He added, pointing to her floppy blond curls.

Tonks looked up at him, he was grinning now. She felt a little better when she saw this, and giggled gleefully.

"Well, we have to go," he said, yawning loudly and stretching. "James should be home by now, and we wouldn't want to send him off to face a fuming Lily alone." They all laughed, James looking slightly annoyed however.

"I can take care of myself thank-you-very-much." James said crossly, folding his arms stubbornly across his chest. "But Lily will be glad to have you for a visit, she's been so bored lately, after all she's so far away from her family now…" James trailed off and went over to retrieve their coats from the coat rack.

Tonks looked up pleadingly at Sirius, "Please, can't you stay a little longer?" she begged, and indicated the amount of time she meant with her thumb and forefinger.

Sirius opened his mouth, but Andromeda got there first, "Now, Tonks," she said sharply, "These men have much more important things to do. You're very lucky they even agreed to come and see you today. Now say goodbye and thank-you."

Tonks gave Sirius one more pleading look, but he nodded sadly. She sighed in defeat.

"Now, Andromeda, you know we are absolutely honored to come and see Tonks. Merlin knows I haven't seen enough of her and you these past years," he stopped and patted Tonks on the shoulder, smiling warmly.

Sirius laughed and gestured for his friends to head for the door. "See you Tonks," he said, accepting one of her hugs.

"Bye, Sirius," said Tonks, her eyes gleaming, "Come visit me soon!" She turned to his friends standing in the doorway. "It's been nice meeting you, thank-you for coming!" She gave her mother a dirty look as she said that, which Andromeda promptly ignored.

Remus and James smiled, "Anytime, Tonks," James said, and stepped out the door.

Remus waved, and called out as he too went out the door, "Goodbye Nymphadora."

_A/N: If there are any spelling/grammar mistakes, please, PLEASE let me know! I am really bad at finding them. Also, please let me know if the characters aren't talking Britishy enough. Cause I am not, and I'm not sure if I'm getting it right ). Thanks._


	2. A Pleasant Encounter

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter. It sucks, I know.

Chapter 2: A Pleasant Encounter

Tonks walked swiftly down the crowded London street into a dinky little pub, that was so pushed out of view that even if you were looking carefully you probably wouldn't spot it.

As she entered, a short, bald-headed, and quite frankly ugly, man went up to her immediately, giving a sort of welcoming nod and saying gruffly, "Your mother said we should be expectin' you today," he said, looking at her carefully. "You-_are_-Nym…Nymfidorie Tonks, right?" 

She nodded impatiently.

"Well, then come this way please, no, no, let me take those," he said, gesturing impatiently to her bags.

"Here we are," said the innkeeper, "Room 209. Hope you have a nice stay." He threw her trunk carelessly into her room and went toddling off down the rickety old staircase.

Tonks sighed and moved into the extremely unclean room. There was an ancient four-poster bed laying in tatters at the far corner of the room, a cracked mirror in the opposite corner, and a large grey sofa beside a matching wardrobe near a filthy window, which overlooked the crowded Muggle street in which she had just previously emerged.

She moved slowly over to the mirror, and promptly tripped over her large brown trunk. Tonks straightened up quickly and peered into the mirror. She delicately strung her hands through her long silky black hair and twirled it absentmindedly. Then, she scrunched up her face as if in pain and held her breath. After a second, her beautiful black hair turned a vivid violet. She smiled, satisfied. 

"There," she said, winking into the cracked mirror. Tonks walked over to the window and looked into the street below. She watched as a very fat muggle tripped over his own shoelace and fell straight into another muggles newspaper rack. The newspaper rack muggle came out and yelled angrily at the fat man, throwing her skinny arms up in the air. The hefty muggle looked very flustered and seemed to be trying to apologize, also shaking his arms wildly. But something else had caught Tonks' eye. A young, extremely thin, man with light-brown wavy hair was walking solemnly towards the Leaky Cauldron.

Tonks blinked and rubbed her eyes furiously, murmuring in disbelief under her breath.

When she looked back out towards the street the man was gone, yet the two muggles seemed now to be in a very violent wrestling match.

Tonks rolled her eyes and went over to her trunk. She opened it fast, and grabbed a small slip of paper before closing it tightly with a soft 'bang'. Tonks folded the piece of parchment into quarters and tucked it safely into her pocket. She went once more to the window and looked hopefully over at the crowd, but after a moment, shrugged and continued on her way. She leapt down the stairs, glancing out of the corner of her eye at the innkeeper, and bolted out the back door.

Facing her was a solid wall of heavy red bricks. She took out her wand and prodded a few of the bricks lightly. Suddenly, the bricks began to shift apart to make a large doorway. She stepped briskly through and shoved her wand forcefully into her pocket.

There were many people in Diagon Alley, bustling about, as this was, after all, the time that all the Hogwarts students came and bought what they needed for school.

Tonks passed a couple of giggly girls near Madam Malkins and recognized them to be fourth-year Hufflepuffs. They stared pointedly at her as she walked by, and she answered with a very rude hand gesture. Some of the girls let out gasps and clapped their hands to their mouths at this, making Tonks even more annoyed. What flakes.

As she neared Florean Fortescue's Ice-Cream Parlour she saw a friendly freckled-filled face. When their eyes met, she put on a fake look of annoyance. He laughed heartedly and this and waved.

Tonks chuckled; Bill Weasley was probably one of her favourite people at Hogwarts, as she had basically no friends. Though she was only in third year, and he was in fifth, he was great fun, though they never got much time to spend together. His mother and brother followed closely behind. Molly gave Tonks a sweet smile, which Tonks tried her best to return, while Charlie stuck out his tongue at her. Even though Tonks and Charlie were in the same year, they didn't get on like she did with Bill.

Tonks turned left into Obscurus Books and immediately began to look around for a copy of 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' as her last one had fallen victim to a very powerful Jelly-Legs Jinx. She searched for a few minutes, and finally found a copy underneath an old pair of shoes.

She had just bought it from the scrawny old witch whose breath was almost to bad to bear, when she saw him. And this time she was absolutely sure it was him. The thin, brown-haired man she had seen from her window in The Leaky Cauldron was standing just outside Slug & Jiggers Apothecary, looking curiously at a large dragon claw.

"Remus?" she spluttered. The man turned. He was no older than twenty-six, but looked very weary and tired, his brown hair already beginning to grey. "Oh, I knew it was you!"

She ran and hugged the man tightly around the neck. Remus looked quite taken aback, and he had the expression on his face as if he wasn't precisely sure who the person was that was hugging him. "Nymph-Nymphadora?" he asked, now that she had finally let go of him.

"Yes! Well, it's _Tonks_," she said, giving him an angry look. "I haven't seen you in ages! Not since-" She bit her lip and decided not to finish the sentence; the last time he and Sirius had visited was a month before Lily and James' deaths, and Sirius' betrayal. "Well, anyways, how are you?"

"Er…fine…fine," he muttered, apparently still shocked from her outburst. "And you?"

Tonks let out a huge grin, "Oh, fantastic, Hogwarts is so great. Though…" she frowned slightly and looked at him, "I can't _wait_ to get out of there. I know I'm only in third year…but I've decided I want to be an Auror."

Remus raised his eyebrows and smiled, "Really? That is a great career choice…but," his smiled widened, "from what I've heard your not an-er-'star student'."

Tonks was not fazed in the least by this. Not a 'star student' hardly covered what she was. She chuckled a bit before answering, "OK, I almost got expelled _once_, why does everybody have to put that against me?"

Remus laughed. They began to walk, Tonks telling him vividly about her school and how exactly she was going to manage to pull off becoming an Auror.

"Well, I mean, my grades aren't terrible, I just lack being at being goody-two-shoes." She stopped walking and turned to him, "I suppose you don't really want to waste your time talking to me, do you? You probably having more important things to do…"

Remus shook his head, almost sadly, "No, and I quite enjoy your company," he gave her half a smile.

"Why are you down in Diagon Alley, anyways?" she asked, and they began walking once more, though much more slowly; they were approaching Knockturn Alley.

He looked over at a nearby joke shop and frowned, "I promised someone I'd do an errand for them," he looked at his hands and began twiddling his thumbs. "Pick up the new Cleansweep…I'll say I almost wished I hadn't now; I'd forgotten this is the time for Hogwarts students to come and buy their school things. That's what you're here for, I'm guessing?" he looked at her inquiringly.

Tonks nodded and glanced at her watch. She gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth, which reminded her infuriatingly of those giggly Hufflepuffs. "I've really got to go, I was supposed to meet my mother an hour ago!"

Remus looked at her guiltily. "I'm terribly sorry I kept you," he said, turning.

"Don't be silly," said Tonks plainly, and kissed him gently on the cheek. He looked rather surprised and embarrassed at this, but smiled warmly all the same.

"Goodbye, Nymph-" but Tonks cut him off angrily.

"It's Tonks, TONKS!" she said, slightly exasperated, "And see you, Remus."

He waved helplessly, "Perhaps…_Tonks_," he said, putting special emphasis on her preferred surname. He smiled and started off into Knockturn Alley.

Tonks frowned and wondered why he was going down there. She had doubted immediately that the real reason he was here was to pick up a broom.

She shrugged and started off when a distressing thought filled her mind. What if this was the last time she was to ever see him again? Though she had only ever met him a handful of times before, she grown quite attached to his quiet nature and was heartbroken when he stopped coming to visit, although it was hardly plausible after Sirius' betrayal. Tonks sighed deeply at this and began to walk off towards the Leaky Cauldron, and her (presumably) fuming mother, her mind full of gloomy possibility that she would probably never see Remus Lupin again.

_How wrong she was._

_A/N: I'm sorry if that last bit sounded cheesy, I couldn't help but add it. I'm a sucker for lines like that. And I love Remus/Tonks stories. They're just so cute._


	3. A Different Light

_Disclaimer: No, I don't own Harry Potter. You really thought I was JK Rowling? Gee, thanks 'blush blush'_

Chapter 3: A Different Light

In a very dim-lit room, at 11:00 in the morning on a calm, peaceful Monday morning, a shrill alarm filled the air, causing the large mound of blankets in the middle of the room to move slightly.

As the earsplitting sound continued, the mound moved a little more, trying to slowly crawl across the room to the ugly mahogany wardrobe in the corner.

As the mound approached the dresser the blankets fell off, only to uncover a young twenty-six year old Auror, with sandy blond hair in tight pin curls.

Tonks got up and stretched lazily, shaking off the remainder of the blankets. She rubbed her eyes, yawning loudly, and pulled open the wardrobe. She took out a pair of jeans, and a bright-pink t-shirt with 'The Weird Sisters' written across the front. She dressed quickly and yawned once more.

Tonks trudged back over to where the pile of blankets lay, picked them up and threw them carelessly on her bed, which, apparently, she had rolled off of in the middle of the night. She scouted the floor for a minute, searching for her backpack. When she found it, she walked clumsily back over to the dresser, pulled out a new, clean black robe and stuffed it vigorously into the small backpack.

Tonks started out the door, then, realizing the alarm was still screeching annoyingly, took out her wand and flicked it lazily.

Her alarm clock exploded.

Tonks hand flew to her head and she murmured to herself, "It's 'Arrêtez bruit' not 'Erretes boot'… I _always _do that…"

As she walked hastily down the hallway, an old lady stepped unexpectedly from the nearest doorway, and held up a wrinkled hand to stop her.

"T-Tonks, dear, your rent's late…" she peered at Tonks irritably from under a set of large frameless glasses. "Again. Now, I'll need it by the end of the day, or else I'll have to…'kick you out' or however you young people say it these days."

The old lady's eyes drifted slowly up to Tonks hair. "Your hair is…blond today, I see…" she gave Tonks another sharp look and began waddle away, muttering under her breath, "Changes her hair every day, that one does…I don't know _how_ she does…it's a wonder…every day…"

Tonks waited until she was out of earshot until she let out a laugh. She wasn't bothered at all by her landlady's threat; she had told her the same thing every time Tonks failed to get her rent in on time, yet she had so far never lived up to her word. Nevertheless, Tonks was getting paid today, and she vowed to drop the rent off as soon as she got home.

Something in her landlady's words did remind her to do something, however (other than pay the rent, that is). She scrunched up her face in concentration and felt a cool tingling sensation trickle down from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. She opened her eyes and felt her hair. It was short, spiky and bubble-gum pink, which clashed horribly with her 'Weird Sisters' t-shirt. Tonks went into the elevator and exited on the ground floor. A few Muggles gave her peculiar looks, but of course that was the drawback to being a witch in a non-magical community.

She walked about four blocks before she saw the place she walking towards; a very old-looking set of office buildings that had windows so covered thick with dust, they looked totally black. She began to half-skip towards the doors, humming to herself. Tonks felt very good about today; she didn't know why, but there was a feeling of total joy and anticipation exploding inside her.

When she reached the door to the office buildings, she unzipped her backpack and pulled on her black robes. She then prodded the office door twice with the tip of her wand and murmured something very softly under her breath. Almost at once she began to experience the familiar feeling of boiling hot water splashing her in the face.

As the sensation stopped a cool female voice spoke tonelessly from nowhere. "Nymphadora Tonks, Office Eighteen, Level Two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters and Wizengamot Administration Services, welcome."

After listening impatiently to the speech, she heaved opened the large stone doors and stepped into a gigantic, beautiful entrance room. To her right was a gold statue of a house-elf, a centaur, a witch and wizard, and a goblin. Tonks approached the statue and threw in one shiny bronze Knut, as she did everyday.

She began to half-skip once again down the long hall and eventually turned quickly into a large silver elevator. There were three other people in there with her: a short, plump blonde witch who was immersed in a large leather-bound book; a tall dark man whom Tonks thought she remembered was named "Markus"; and closest to her a wizard named Kingsley Shacklebolt, who was also an Auror and whom she was on pretty good terms with.

"Wotcher Kingsley," she said pleasantly.

He smiled, "Morning Tonks. Late night?" he added, just as Tonks heaved another huge yawn.

"Nah, I'm always like this in the morning," she paused as the elevator stopped. 'Level Seven, Department of Magical Games…' they watched closely as the two other occupants hurried out, "All this Harry Potter business too," she said quietly, "He's being a right idiot, Fudge is. I don't know about you, but I believe what Harry Potter says. After all, Dumbledore backs him up, and I think that anything Dumbledore says goes…I mean, I don't even understand what he's going on about sometimes…but that just might be because I'm a bit slow." She paused and let out another gigantic yawn. "I really feel for that kid, I wouldn't be able to stand it if someone made up rumors that _I _had lost my marbles…or that I never even had them." She rubbed her arm subconsciously and plowed on. "Besides, how does the Ministry know that You-Know-Who isn't back? It just makes me mad that they can't see what's shoved right in front of their faces."

Tonks cast a cautious look at Kingsley; she had always thought he wasn't a real big supporter of Fudge, but she could be wrong.

But Kingsley had a rather curious look on his face; it wasn't annoyance, or disbelief, anger, or even agreement. As she tried to place it Kingsley opened his mouth and spoke very, very silently, in an extremely hushed tone, "Tonks, would you, if you had the chance, fight for what you believe, I mean, like even if you had to go behind…behind the Ministries back?"

Tonks raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out what Kingsley was going on about, but before she could answer, Kingsley continued, "Have you ever heard of The Order of the Phoenix?"

Tonks nodded immediately. Ever since her mother had once mentioned the Order, Tonks found and learned every single fact she could about them. But…why was Kingsley mentioning them now?

"So, would you, if you had the chance - even if it meant sneaking behind the Ministries back - fight with all you had for what you believe?"

Tonks nodded once more. She thought she was beginning to see what Kingsley was getting at. She opened her mouth to speak when the elevator stopped and they arrived on their floor. Kingsley was still looking at her strangely, his face serious, "Look, meet me right outside the entrance at around 5 o'clock tonight, OK?"

Tonks nodded again. She and Kingsley got off the lift together in silence, walked quickly down the hall, and into their cubicles. For a minute Tonks just stared at the huge stack of parchment in front of her.

What was happening? She thought, her mind racing. 5 o'clock, 5 o'clock, she repeated, over and over again in her head.

Now, as she got to work anticipation began to grow. She found herself glancing at her wristwatch every few moments, and started to tap her foot impatiently. She couldn't wait.

----

At 4:45 that evening Tonks hurriedly began to pack away her things. She picked up the towering mountain of papers and precariously took them over to Rufus Scrimgeour, Head of the Auror office.

"Here, sir," she said timidly, slowly placing them down on his desk, so relieved she had not dropped the stack of papers, being as she was usually clumsy as hell.

Scrimgeour didn't even bother to look up; he gave his head a tilt, and continued reading a very long roll of parchment. Tonks left without another word; she didn't like Scrimgeour much, he wasn't very kind and never made any attempts to be friendly.

She checked her watch excitedly, 4:54, six minutes to go. She hurried into the large silver elevator, which was so stuffed with people that you could barely lift an arm. Tonks waited patiently until the elevator finally reached her stop.

Tonks grinned to herself as she hurried out the entrance. Her instincts had been right, something did, well, was, going to happen today. She wringed her hands tightly, and started to walk a bit faster, but not too fast, she didn't want to stand out, although her pink-hair kind of took care of that. Perhaps her meeting with Kingsley wouldn't be that great after all, she thought suddenly, perhaps it's bad news, or maybe I've just read to much in to it…yes, it's probably nothing. But even as Tonks slammed open the heavy stone doors and stepped into the cold, brisk night air she could not help but feel overwhelming excitement.

Kingsley was there, waiting, his hands over his chest, shivering like mad. "Tonks c-come here," he said, spotting her, and gesturing wildly with his right hand. "Quickly, I need to get moving, it's so cold," Tonks walked up to him, feeling her teeth begin to chatter.

"OK, Kingsley, what do you want me for?"

Kingsley bowed his head and spoke in the same hushed tone he used earlier that day in the elevator, "Not here, let's walk a bit further," he nodded his head to a muggle bus stop, about two blocks up the road. Tonks shrugged and they began to walk in silence, except for their constant shivering. When they reached the run-down bus stop, Tonks sat down gingerly, and eagerly up.

"Kingsley?"

He looked her straight in the eye, "You-Know-Who has returned, and the Ministry is doing nothing to stop him," he began pacing, one hand to his chin, the other on his hip, "Something had, and has, to be done, so we took action." His sharp stare hardened, "You say you've heard of the Order of the Phoenix?" Tonks nodded impatiently, "Well…" Kingsley lowered his voice dramatically, "We've started it up again, and we're trying to recruit whoever we can who can aid us in the war against You-Know-Who…and well, you seemed to have a very strong opinion and you are definitely an asset to the Order, being an Auror and all."

Tonks immediately glowed at this, though it was hardly even a compliment. "Would you?" he ended abruptly, looking at Tonks more sharply than ever.

Tonks pondered this for a moment. If she said no; she'd probably get her memory obliviated, but if she said yes, she could finally do something decent, that would eventually be thanked by the greater good, besides, she'd always dreamed of being in the Order. She felt like her insides were bursting with happiness and excitement. She nodded gleefully and couldn't help but smile hugely.

Kingsley returned the grin, "Now I've written Dumbledore, and he's very happy about having another member, especially one that can get inside information about the Ministry. Here, read this quickly and memorize," he handed her small slip of parchment with thin, slanted green writing on it.

It read: 'The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.'

Kingsley then grabbed the slip of parchment back from her and placed his wand tip to it. It burst suddenly into flames and after a few seconds, disappeared.

Both were silent for a moment, Tonks taking in everything that had just happened in the last minute, and repeating the message slowly in her mind 'Number twelve Grimmauld Place'…for some reason that seemed vaguely familiar to her, but she couldn't place it. "So…" she started, fervently rubbing her hands up and down her arms, trying to keep warm, "Who, rather than yourself and Dumbledore of course, is in – er - 'The Order'?"

Kingsley thought for a moment and took a while before answering. "Who? Well, to name a few, Emmeline Vance, sure you've heard of her, very well known; Dedalus Diggle; Mad Eye; half of the Weasley bunch, I think you went to school with the some of them; Sirius Black; Elphias Doge; Remus Lupin-"

"Wait, stop," interrupted Tonks, "Did you say -" at this point for some reason Kingsley winced- "Remus Lupin?"

Kingsley blinked, looking both surprised and relieved. "Why, yes-yes I did, do you know him?"

Tonks smiled and gave a little squeak, which surprised her a bit; she was definitely not the squeaking type. "Yes, I've met him a few times before," Kingsley looked at her suspiciously and she rolled her eyes in sarcastic annoyance.

Tonks thought for a bit about Kinsley's words and suddenly felt her blood run cold. She had just remembered one of the names he had listed for the Order.

_Sirius Black_. Tonks rounded on him, her eyes wide and shocked. "You…you said 'Sirius Black'?"

Kingsley's face crumpled and he heaved an exasperated sigh, "Yes, I did, but Tonks, listen-"

But she was on a roll, "Sirius Black, the convict? Sirius Black, who _betrayed_ the Potters' by turning them in to Voldemort? Sirius Black, who - who was their friend? Sirius Black, my…my…" She gulped loudly and Kingsley seized this momentary silence to interrupt her.

"Look, Tonks, the Ministry got it all wrong! Sirius Black is innocent! It was their runt of a friend, Peter Pettigrew, not him; he's innocent!"

Tonks tried to let this all settle in. No way. It was hard enough to believe that there was an Order of the Phoenix going on behind Fudges' back, and that she was now a part of it, _and _that she was going to see Remus Lupin, whom she had not so much as had a glance at since they crossed each others paths in Diagon Alley eleven years ago…and now this.

No way. It was just too unbelievable, even for Tonks' huge imagination. Kingsley was crazy.

"Nice one Kingsley," she said sourly, and started to turn away. "You really had me going for awhile, what with the exploding parchment and…" Tonks stopped dead, her mouth open in a perfect 'O'. She had just remembered something. Something that she should have remembered as soon as she read the address 'Number twelve Grimmauld Place'. That was the address of Sirius' house. Suddenly everything fit into place. Kingsley must have been telling the truth after all.

She clapped a hand to her forehead and began hitting herself for her stupidity. "Grimmauld Place, Grimmauld Place! I should have remembered! Ahh, I'm so stupid!" She turned to Kingsley, feeling very embarrassed and sorry that she had doubted him, "Look, I-"

But to her surprise, Kingsley grinned, "No matter. You took it better than me. Now," his tone became brisk and stern, reminding Tonks vividly of her mother, whom, incidentally, she was not on speaking terms with, "Meeting tonight at the Headquarters. I'll inform everyone of your coming. 7 o'clock. Don't be late." With a curt nod, and a swish of his robes, he Disapparted.

Tonks began to trudge home, still feeling slightly embarrassed about doubting Kingsley.

Her apartments weren't far from here, so she wouldn't waste any energy on Appartion.

As she passed her landlady's room, she swiftly slipped her rent through the rusty mailbox. When she got to her door, she fished around in her pocket for the key; it was gone. She sighed, and checking there were no muggles in sight, bent low over the keyhole, pointed her wand at it and whispered, "Alohamora."

Her apartment was just as she left it, a total disaster zone. She messily made her bed, so it looked half-decent. She went over to her open wooden dresser, pulled out a robe and closed it tightly, casting it a look of disgust as she did. It had been a gift from her mother two Christmases ago, and she hated it with all her heart, but she had nothing else to put her clothes in and was too poor to go and buy a nice one. Tonks changed quickly into a pair of silky bright purple robes; her favourite.

Tonks checked her wristwatch and gasped, it read exactly 7 o'clock. She must have been talking to Kingsley for near two hours! She held her breath and disappeared, reappearing 200 miles away, right outside a gigantic run-down old mansion.

Tonks checked the address just to be sure. A pure-gold sign with silver numbers read, "12 Grimmauld Place". Tonks shivered, hardly from the cold, but the creepiness of the old house, and tentatively began to step forward. As she reached the big marble doors, she peered down at the large silver knocker, and read the tiny inscription: '_Toujours Pur_'.

Tonks upper lip curled in disgust. It was their family motto, which meant 'Always Pure'. As she stood there thinking about what an awful family she came from, and how she loathed that she had to set foot in this terrible house, the door unexpectedly opened in front of her.

She went to look up sheepishly at the person that opened the door, apologize for being late for meeting, and excuse herself for just standing there, when she caught sight of who she was facing. There, in front of her was a thin man, with light brown hair that was slightly flecked with grey, glittering bluish eyes, and a small, peaceful smile, which she had loved so much...

They stood there looking at each other for a moment before Remus said quietly, "Hello, Nymphadora. Won't you come in? The meetings about to start."

Tonks frowned, "It may been eleven years since we last talked, but you know damn well that it's 'Tonks'." She tried to gracefully step in, but managed to trip over the doormat. Remus was obviously trying not to smile, and, as though not trusting himself to speak, he silently helped her to her feet.

This time Tonks managed a sheepish look, "I'm dead clumsy, I am," she smiled at him and he returned it warmly. "Good to see you, Remus."

Molly Weasley poked her head out from the closest door and opened her mouth to yell, but stopped when her eyes found Tonks. She shrieked loudly and clapped her hands together in delight, "Tonks! Oh, dear, I haven't seen you in ages!" She ran up and hugged Tonks tightly around the middle, causing Tonks to cast a bewildered look at Remus, who had put a hand to his mouth, trying to hide his laughter. As Molly let go, all three walked quickly into the room Molly had come out of, and settled down in chairs.

Tonks scanned the tiny, foul-smelling room and found there were more people than she had expected there. Her eyes settled on Sirius, and was broken-hearted to see looked haunted and distant; Azakaban certainly had taken its toll. Their eyes met and Sirius gave a huge grin, and winked at her. Tonks grinned back, and began screening the room once more. There was Bill Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Mundungus Fletcher, Hestia Jones and-!

Tonks jaw dropped; she couldn't believe what she was seeing: Severus Snape, the ex-Death Eater, was sitting right across from her, his face fixed in a sneer, smirking at her purple robes and vivid hair.

But before she could say anything, or do anything for that matter, the meeting had started. Tonks listened intensely as they talked about the specific duties that the members of the Order were doing and what not.

Tonks rolled her eyes and noticed a few other people, including Sirius, looked quite disdained as Snape started to drone on about his dangerous mission of spying on Voldemort and his Death Eater cronies.

The meeting lasted roughly two hours and Tonks was beginning to doze off. She filed out with the others, glad to be out of that creepy old house, but also sad, as she rather enjoyed the company of the others', Snape excluded. She watched as Remus settled down into deep conversation with Sirius and concluded that he was staying the night. She wondered how often he did so.

She fell asleep as soon as she cuddled into her warm soft bed. Her mind dreamt about soaring phoenixes, overgrown bats, and howling wolves.

_A/N: Three chapters in like 10 minutes. Heehee. Well, I hope you enjoyed them, I'll update soon. Please review!_


	4. Feeling Something

Disclaimer: I don't own anything fromHarry Potter.

_A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter, it has Remus' point of view in it a little at the end. Please R&R! _

Chapter 4: Feeling Something

Tonks was hanging upside down over a large overstuffed sofa in the living room of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. She was staring plainly at her watch, her face beginning to go red. It had been two weeks since Tonks had joined the Order, and was starting to become accustomed to visiting the creepy old mansion almost daily, occasionally staying overnight. Of course, when she did stay overnight, she was not alone, there was plenty of company; the Weasleys had practically dubbed this their second home; there was Sirius; Remus stayed about as much as she did; and of course, Sirius' mothers' portrait, which screamed bloody murder every time the doorbell rang, or whenever Tonks knocked over the huge umbrella stand, which was quite often.

She glanced hastily at her watch again; turning her head so suddenly that she got a crick in her neck. She let out a groan of pain and rubbed the sore spot. There was still a half-hour to go before she had to go and collect Harry from his relatives' house. She smiled wickedly, remembering the prank she played on them. She had written a letter informing his relatives that there lawn had been entered in the 'All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition' and, of course, they had gobbled it right up, the daft Muggles. Tonks closed her eyes and thought about what their faces might look like when they found out it was fake. She sighed happily and began to sit up.

"Nymphadora?" "ARGHH!" Tonks jolted up and managed to fall right off the sofa, planting her face in the rug.

"Ouch," she said, trying to get up. She felt a pair of strong arms lift her up onto her feet.

She looked up wearily and found herself face to face with Remus. "Wotcher Remus," she said shakily, wincing slightly.

Remus' eyes were filled with concern. He made sure she was totally steady before he let go of her arms. Tonks found herself longing for him to keep them there, and suddenly felt very aware of the fact that they were standing barely a centimeter apart.

Remus apparently felt it too, as he took a big step backwards, blushing slightly, before asking, "Are you all right?"

"Oh, yeah," she said, and noticing how concerned he was, grinned reassuringly, "You just gave me a start."

"So are you all right to go and pick up Harry?" he asked protectively, in such an older-brother voice, that Tonks felt a lump begin to rise to her throat.

She shook it off and sleekly put her hands to her hips and swung back her long silvery-blond hair. "Of course I am, you worry too much." She looked at him crossly. "I swear, that's the reason you haven't got a girlfriend; you're too nice. We girls aren't accustomed to that," she cast him another cross look his way, trying hard to look serious as possible.

Remus smiled and met her gaze; "You could give Molly Weasley a run for her money with that glare."

"Excuse me?"

Remus and Tonks both jumped as though hit by an electric shock, looked over and saw Molly Weasley standing in the doorway, hands on her hips, but small smile playing at her mouth. "First of all, you two better get going, your 'rescue team' is going to leave without you." Molly stood aside to let them pass through the door, now smirking profoundly.

"And second of all?" piped up Tonks.

"No one can ever out do my look," said Molly confidently.

Tonks and Remus chuckled as Molly watched them curiously. She watched as they were greeted by the rest of the Order. She watched as Tonks knocked over and broke a shiny yellow flower vase, and she watched as Remus stepped in clean it up. She watched when, as the two got up to join the others, brushed past each other slightly, went deep scarlet, and began apologizing hastily. And she watched as, when Tonks mounted her broom shortly after Remus, the look she cast after him, and how her face light up cheerfully.

Molly left the room silently, a knowing smile sneaking across her face.

They arrived at Number Four Privet Drive shortly after seven that evening. Tonks jumped of her broom and looked around the small muggle street. "Wow," she said, looking around at the almost identical houses. "Sure this is it?" she questioned, and glanced nervously at Moody.

"Of course I'm sure," he growled. "This is exactly where old Figgy said. Number 4 Privet Drive. Now come on, we're going in the back, follow me." He began to limp off towards the back gate.

Tonks looked backwards at Remus. He was chatting quietly with Emmeline Vance, walking along slowly, and grasping one arm loosely with his other hand. His robes were as shabby and torn as ever and his face looked very tired. Tonks thought this look somehow suited him. She studied him a little more and came to the conclusion that he wasn't that bad looking. Cute even.

She rolled her eyes and tried to focus back on the task of rescuing Harry. They were now at the back door, and Moody had taken out his wand.

"Alohamora," he said gruffly, and obediently the door opened. Moody stepped in first, with Tonks at his heels.

Tonks observed the clean kitchen with a shudder. It was so perfect. Not a hair out of line. She turned quickly to see if the rest of house was as clean and promptly knocked over a shiny white plate, which gave a surprisingly loud bang.

"Oh, Merlin, why do I have to be so damn clumsy?" she said angrily, stooped over the broken shards and muttered 'Reparo'.

Remus looked at her comfortingly. "No matter," he looked her right in the eye and Tonks felt an involuntary chill in her bones. "At least Harry has warning of our coming now," he looked upwards and, as if on cue, they heard several surprised rustling sounds and a muffled 'ouch'.

"It's bloody awful what they're doing to that kid, treating him like a criminal," Tonks said forcefully. She paused and added quietly, "Especially when he's practically the opposite."

Remus seemed to be the only one who caught that last comment, as he looked at her in sad agreement.

They crept quietly toward the staircase and found themselves looking up at tall, dark figure nervously looking down at where they stood.

Tonks felt herself zone out at this point. The boy standing before them was just like she had imagined him to look. He had dark black hair, which was painfully untidy; circular thick-rimmed glasses, with brilliant green eyes staring out from under them. He was extremely skinny, and had the look about him as if he had grown very tall in a short period of time. Then there was the scar. The long, lightning bolt scar definitely made him stand out, there was no mistaking that this was Harry Potter.

Tonks' heart gave a twinge and she suddenly felt an overwhelming amount of pity and sadness towards the boy. He had lost everything at such a small age; he parents, his house, his…freedom. He was flocked by crazed wizards and witches everywhere he went, like it or not.

Tonks vowed to be nice to him; even if he was a total idiot. Though, that wasn't really the case with Harry Potter.

----

Tonks woke with a snore; she was in her desk at work, papers piled up to her chin. She groaned and rubbed her eyes sleepily.

She checked her wristwatch. 10:47. At night. She seriously could not take any more late night shifts, it was not only depriving her of much needed beauty sleep, but making it harder and harder for her to squeeze in time for the Order. Tonks had even missed a meeting tonight. And, of course she was stuck in the office alone with Evan Mavvers, the most annoying human she had ever met in her life, which was saying a lot, as she had a few unfortunate encounters with idiots in her time.

Just then Mavvers walked up to her desk.

Speak of the devil, she thought angrily, frowning slightly.

"What do you want, Mavvers?" she said crossly, though trying not to sound too mean.

Mavvers put on a dazzling smile and brushed his strawberry blond hair back smoothly. "Why, Tonks, I'd just like to…chat," with that he took a small step closer at her and began twiddling his thumbs lazily.

She sighed and stood up. At this point he swiftly walked toward her, put an arm around her waist and kissed her romantically.

Tonks felt vomit immediately rise to her throat. She pushed him off hard and shrieked, "What are you doing?"

Mavvers gave her another of his bright grins and answered in a deep loud voice, apparently trying to sound sexy, but Tonks thought just sounded like he had a megaphone shoved down his throat, "Kissing you of course." He tried to pull her close but she pushed him back again.

"No! Mavvers, I don't fancy you! I don't know how any girl in her right mind could! Ugh!" Immediately as Tonks said that, she felt guilty, she hadn't meant to be cruel.

He looked up at her, his eyes wide in shock and confusion, "Fine," he said angrily; "I just thought…you…just…" he then walked over past her, and, pushing her slightly, stalked out the office, grumbling loudly.

Tonks felt her eyes welt with tears. This was probably the worst day she had ever experienced. First her mother, now…this. She wiped her eyes hastily and began sorting the tower of papers, feeling positively terrible.

----

Remus was reading a book silently in a sitting room of the Order Headquarters, his head titled to one side, looking as though he was reading the page sideways. He had been sitting there for no less than three hours, not so much deeply immersed in the book, but his thoughts.

He glanced up at the clock and did a double take. It was nearly midnight. He closed the book silently, marking the page with distinctive care.

He stretched and started to get up when he heard the front door slam open loudly, and a woman's voice curse loudly. Remus quickly walked out of the sitting room and found a shivering Tonks attempting to battle off her overlarge winter ski boots. Her shockingly pink hair was tangled up with leaves and snow, and there was a large tear in her pant leg. "Tonks, are-are you okay?" he looked at her tensely, and suddenly found it very stuffy in the room, though the door was still swung open.

Tonks looked up with surprise; obviously she had not even heard him enter the room. She closed the door swiftly and spoke very shakily, "Remus…I'm fine; totally fine. Just…just a bad day, that's all. A bad…"she broke off and looked down at her shoes, and Remus could tell her eyes had watered up with tears, and she was fighting forcefully not to let them fall.

A very strange set of emotions took over his body at this point. Half of Remus wanted to go and comfort her, and the other half told him it was a bad idea.

Why would it be a bad idea? He questioned himself. She needs someone to comfort her right now, a friend. And that's what I am. A friend.

He walked up to her and met her eyes. They were a deep, dark blue, and Remus felt lost whenever he glanced into them. He looked away abruptly, and began talking to the wall.

"What happened?" he said slowly.

Tonks tried to smile, and failed miserably, "Oh, just nothing…" she said pathetically.

Remus made himself look at her, and found she was still staring at him, her blue eyes shimmering softly with tears.

"It's not nothing Nymphadora." He made his gaze sharpen, "What happened?"

Silence. They remained staring at each other for a moment, before Tonks answered shakily, "I…just…well, just work…and…and…my mothers ill…" she broke her eyes away from Remus and looked down at her shoes once more. "She's not…she's not doing well…we aren't exactly on the…the best of terms either…and…on the way home…I p-practically got run over by…by one of those muggle transportation things…'cars' I think they're c-called." She hiccoughed loudly and shuffled her feet uncomfortably before continuing, "And then at work…at…at…" She broke off into loud sobs and looked up at Remus.

He saw there were tears running thickly down her face, and her lower lip was trembling dangerously. Then, unexpectedly, she flung her arms around Remus' chest, wetting his warm sweater with her tears, still running hard and fast.

Remus felt his heart jump to his throat and wanted desperately to pull away, but didn't. It would not only be rude, but something in his head told him to stay. He needed to be there for her. He gently began to close his arms around her back, pulling her into a tight embrace. Tonks lifted her hands slowly from his chest to his neck, rapping them strongly around. She settled her head in his shoulder, and sighed softly.

After what felt like forever, she pulled away, still sniffing loudly.

"Thank you," she said quietly, and kissed him on the cheek.

Remus felt his face burn, and suspected it was a deep colour of red, as Tonks let out a strangled-sort of laugh, which caused her to start crying again.

Wanting to keep the peace, Remus said quickly, "Would you like something to drink? Tea…?"

She tried to speak, but, failing, nodded furiously instead.

Remus bustled off into the kitchen and began to boil the water for the tea, absorbed in his thoughts. He only remembered, as the kettle began to boil, that he was a wizard.

He took out his wand and summoned two bright purple mugs. He poured the tea carefully, and went carefully back into the entrance room.

No one was there.

He noticed the door of the sitting room open slightly and went cautiously in. There was Tonks, not crying any more, but hugging her knees tightly and looking dreamily out the window, watching the storm of snow.

"Nymphadora?"

She jumped and looked at him. "Oh, Remus!" She adopted a look of pure annoyance and glared at him, "It's Tonks! Please!"

He smiled and handed her one of the mugs. "Careful, it's hot," he warned.

She sipped the tea and grinned, "Thanks, Remus."

They drank their tea in silence, occasionally glancing each other's way, but as soon as their eyes met, they hastily looked away.

When they finished, Remus stood up, brushing himself off, preparing to leave, when he felt a small warm hand grasp his wrist. He immediately felt his insides melt and managed to contain a sigh.

What is wrong with me? He thought angrily, I'm being so silly…

Remus looked over and saw the hand belonged to Tonks, her eyes large and had a slightly pleading look to them. "Please…just…just stay a little longer." She pulled him back down onto the sofa, and wrapped her arms around him once more.

Remus could not find it in him to reject her. He was her friend after all…her friend.

----

_A/N: Thank-youfor the reviewers, it's very much appreciated! _

**_slightly so: I think her and her mother aren't speaking because they don't get along. I tried (in chapter one) to write Andromeda as kind of controlling etc., and I don't think Tonks really likes to be controlled. Also, about Tonks having no friends...I think Tonks is the kind of person that is super bubbly and a little crazy looking (and sounding). Most people find that kind of scary. Also, she's a real tomboy, and alot of Hogwarts girls are the giggly girly ones (like Lavender and Parvati), so they would kind of clash. Thanks! _**

FieryPhoenix21: Oops. Well I didn't actaully FINISH chapter 3 in ten minutes. I edited it and posted it up here in about ten minutes. Hehe, sorry about that. I actually have most of the chapters already written, sooo yeah. Thank-you for the review!


	5. Returning The Favour

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, etc.

Chapter 5: Returning the Favour

Remus felt an unusual warmness beside him. He sifted slightly on the sofa and sighed; he longed to wrap his arms around this warmness and never have to let go. He knew he must be crazy to be thinking this; he didn't even know what this warmness was yet…

He forced himself to open an eye. What he saw made him jump to his feet immediately and scanned his brain for the memory of what had happened the previous night.

When he remembered he sighed and picked up the blanket that had fallen to the floor when he had torn himself from the couch. He looked over wearily at Tonks, making sure she was still asleep. At that moment she gave a very loud snore, and began making grabbing actions with her hands, apparently trying to pull up the non-existent blanket from around her waist. Remus gently wrapped the worn blue blanket around her small shoulders, making sure she was perfectly warm and comfortable.

Remus backed out of the room and slipped out door quietly as he could. He hoped dearly that no one would be there. If, by chance, Tonks came out a while after him, and the people that saw him exit the room, saw Tonks also, they would most definitely come to the wrong conclusion.

And, of course, sitting on the ugly green sofas, was Molly and Sirius, having a fierce, yet strangely quite, argument about Harry.

"He's too young Sirius! Why do you think he has to know everything…?" Molly's face was a deep red, and she was aggressively using her hands to aid what she was saying.

Remus looked around nervously for a way to exit without being heard or seen, but concluded solemnly there was none.

"Fifteen! Harry is fifteen! Sixteen this coming July! Not to mention you and me and about every other living, breathing, witch or wizard can vouch for that he can handle stuff pretty well! I mean, you can't have your parents blasted into oblivion by Voldemort and not-" Sirius stopped short. He had just noticed Remus.

Molly turned to see what had made Sirius stop yelling and suddenly turned an even deeper red, obviously embarrassed that Remus had just witnessed them screaming at each other.

Remus hastily tried to seem interested in a nearby magazine, which inevitably turned out to be 'Witch Weekly's Guide to Finding Mr. Right'. "Oh! Remus! G-good morning, dear," Molly shook off her embarrassment and began to usher him onto one of the couches.

"Sorry, Molly, I didn't mean to interrupt anything," Remus said apologetically, and nodded toward Sirius, whom at the moment seemed very interested in the magazine Remus had tried to hide behind.

"Oh no, it…it was nothing," she glared at Sirius as she said this, as if the fact that they were overheard was all his fault. "And what are you reading…seriously…" she snatched the magazine from his hands and rolled her eyes.

"Oi!" said Sirius, heating up again, "There are some pretty good tips in here, thank-you-very-much. I do have to catch up with the times! After being in Azkaban for about thirteen years, you get a little behind, if you know what I mean!"

"Well I don't think you should be getting involved with any woman right now-or man- for that matter, if that's the way you swing," she nodded briskly toward the magazine sitting beside her. "After all, you're not exactly a 'free man' are you?" Molly crossed her arms over her chest, stuck her nose high in the air, and turned away from everyone, looking plainly out the window. Discussion over.

Sirius opened his mouth stupidly, and then closed it, his jaw tightening. He turned to Remus, who had been watching the argument in awe, and finding it amazing that two people could find something to bicker about so easily.

"So Moony, what were you doing in the sitting room?" Sirius titled his head towards the door, and lay back lazily in his chair.

Remus could hardly contain himself from sighing when he heard Sirius use his old nickname. They were hardly school children anymore, yet Sirius seemed to not be able to get over it and start calling Remus by his true name. "Just fell asleep," he said, though that was hardly the complete truth. He expected Sirius would not take something like this subtly, even if Remus fully explained himself.

Sirius yawned in reply and began to inspect his fingernails carefully when all three heard the sitting room door crept slowly open, followed by an 'ouch'.

Remus felt himself go cold and watched in horror as Tonks straightened herself up (she had just tripped over the rug) and start to come toward them.

"Hello Molly, Sirius." She looked over at Remus and smiled sheepishly, making it, if possible, look even more suspicious, "Wotcher Remus."

Apparently oblivious to the tension and the stares she was receiving, she sat down beside Molly and began flipping through that fateful magazine.

Remus' feelings of horror faded immediately as she did this. It was hilarious how she could be so wrapped up in whatever she was doing and not even be fazed by reactions of other people. Remus began to feel the same odd feeling twist around his heart as when she hugged him yesterday. He shook it off, and nervously looked once more at Sirius. But Sirius was not looking murderously at Remus, as he had expected, but smiling wickedly and whistling to himself. When their eyes met, Sirius' grin widened and Remus felt immediately confused.

Remus turned his glance to Molly instead and saw she, for once, seemed to be agreeing with Sirius, as her smile was almost a mirror image of his. Remus raised an eyebrow and looked over at Tonks, hoping to see maybe she was as confused as he, but she still seemed engrossed in the magazine. "Well, I - er - have to go and…feed Buckbeak…Molly, care to join me?" Sirius said deviously.

Suddenly light dawned on Remus; they did think something happened between him and Tonks, but they weren't against it, they were encouraging it! Remus felt a rush of emotions invade his body and didn't know which to choose. Should he be upset at them for thinking such nonsense, completely shocked, or just…laugh it off?

As they bustled off to go and 'feed Buckbeak' Tonks spoke, her nose still buried in the magazine.

"Odd, don't you think?" she wrinkled up her nose at the magazine, apparently she had just read something she disagreed with, "Molly and Sirius actually doing something civil together…odd…considering I just heard them bickering over this dumb thing," she threw the magazine to the ground in disgust. "Maybe its a lovers' quarrel…" she shuddered. "Hopefully not."

Remus laughed, and Tonks grinned brightly before continuing, "It's funny how they jumped to that conclusion so quickly, don't you think?"

Remus furrowed his brow in confusion, "What do you mean…?"

She looked at him and spoke as though she was stating the obvious, "About us. They just assumed that we came out of that room together because we'd slept together. Or something to that effect. It's even weirder the way they acted towards it. All giddy and quick to leave us alone. You'd think they'd be furious." Remus looked at her and smiled, "I thought the same. I wonder what made them act like that."

"Maybe they thought they saw something between us, besides this, of course."

"Why would they?" Remus said with a laugh, "There's more a chance of those two to get together than me and you…having something."

"Is there?" Tonks replied, her smile fading, her eyes nervously observing him.

Her answer surprised Remus. Had she thought there was something between them?

Of course not, he told himself sternly, she's too young and you're too old, not to mention a werewolf. "Isn't there?" he replied lamely, his mind suddenly a blank to anything more intelligent.

Tonks smiled, though Remus noted that it looked extremely fake. "Of course not. Just-Molly and Sirius, I don't think a moment goes by that those two don't fight."

An awkward silence filled the room. After a few moments Tonks went over to the muggle 'CD player' that Arthur had installed and turned to a random radio station.

"I've found quite a liking to muggle music," she explained sheepishly, and started to walk back over towards the couches.

Suddenly, Tonks clumsily tripped over a pair of, what looked like, Extendable Ears. Acting on impulse, Remus jumped up and sprinted over to her, catching her right before she hit the ground. They were now locked in a very uneasy position; he was half-kneeling on the grimy carpet, and she was looking up at him from his arms. However, Remus felt a strange feeling of comfort around him, and dared not move. He glanced into her dark eyes, and saw she was looking at him as well. There was a very unfamiliar look in her eye; Remus could not describe it, but it made him feel extraordinarily happy, though a small voice in his head was telling him he should not feel like this, and that he should simply drop her and leave the room.

Unexpectedly, a loud blast of music from the CD player shook them both once more into reality.

Remus felt his face flush and saw that Tonks' face was a deep red also. He let go of Tonks and hastily straightened up.

"Sorry-" But Tonks looked infuriated. "If you apologize, for nothing mind you, I swear I will kick you so hard so won't know what hit you."

Remus began to laugh at this sad attempt at a threat, but stopped immediately at the look on Tonks' face; she was dead serious.

But before he could respond, Tonks half-skipped over to the CD player and turned it off, humming something that soundly remotely like 'You Are My Sunshine'.

Remus collapsed onto one of the couches, suddenly feeling quite faint and ill. He rubbed his throbbing temples and sighed. After a few moments, his eyes flew wide open and he jumped to his feet. He checked his watch and groaned, brushing a hand fervently through his graying hair.

Tonks turned around, startled. "What's wrong?" she asked caringly, and walked over to him.

Remus straightened himself up, and forced a look of cheerfulness upon his face. "Full moon tonight," he said. "I ought to have known it was. It's strange; I've never forgotten before."

"Something on your mind?" Tonks responded, almost hopefully.

Remus gave her a weary look, "I suppose." He yawned and gave a nod, signaling he was leaving. He grabbed his shabby coat and tugged it around his shoulders. As he approached the door, he looked back, but Tonks had already left the room. Remus opened the door a slit, and slipped silently out, closing it behind him with a small 'click'.

As soon as she was sure that he had left, Tonks slid out of the shadows. She rubbed her hands together and grinned wickedly. He had helped her in her time of need, and now she was going to help him.

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_A/N: I hope you liked that chapter. Can anyone guess perhaps what Tonks is going to do? Please review!_

**_Windedspirit: Wow. Thanks 4 ALL those reviews. It's funny how reviews can brighten your day, isn't it? Lol. Well, I'm glad to know its not too cheesy. Also, about your Kingsley/Tonks fic, is it posted here? Cuz that sounds really interesting, i'd like to read it. There's a tad of Kingsley/Tonks here too, in later chapters...oops did I just say that? Hehe../Ok, with the overgrown bats...it's Tonks half-consicious slipping into dreamland phase, right? Well I suppose sometimes you fall asleep thinking of the days events, but just in a more...muddle version. Well, I went 'soaring phoneixes, overgrown bats and howling wolves', which are really The Order of the Phoneix (well, yah), and Snape (remember how in the books he's described as being an overgrown bat a few times?), and Lupin. So, if anyone was wondering about that THERE IT IS ! Haha, well I hope you enjoyed this chapter._**

smash: Thank-you! I know, Lupin is sweet...he just needs to realize that himself! Guys are so thick sometimes...

xxxroxyxxx: yeah, he's going to be telling himself that alotin this story. Hmm,oh well, he'll come to term with his feelings eventually. Thanks for the review, and I hope youliked this chapter!


	6. The Wolf Within

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Yet again.

Chapter 6: The Wolf Within

Tonks had waited patiently for six hours, gossiping with Molly; trying to cheer up Sirius; chatting to Arthur about muggle 'artifacts'; and putting up with the random Order passerby's, for Remus' arrival at Grimmauld Place.

And at exactly 4:00 that evening, Remus slipped through the large stone doors as quietly as he had exited them this morning. Tonks noticed he looked even more tired then this morning, if possible. The many lines on his face had deepened, and his breathing was slow and raspy.

As Remus walked by, he showed no sign that he knew Tonks was even standing there. Tonks opened her mouth to inform him of her being, but thought better of it. She watched him ascend the long staircase and sighed. He was going to hate her for this. She still couldn't get her head around exactly why she was even doing this. She just…had to. Something deep inside her told her that she had to.

Tonks rattled up the stairs behind Remus, her stomach tying itself together in knots. What would she see? Would it be like she imagined or…worse?

"TONKS!"

Tonks jumped a mile, and landed heavily on her backside. She groaned, soothingly rubbing the small of her back, and looked up at the person who had screeched at her, who was presently breathing very heavily, looking bewildered, and had a hand to her heart.

"Molly, are you all right?" Tonks said nervously, and glanced around the corner, making sure no one else was standing there.

Molly smiled and began to fix her hair, "Oh fine! But, dear, how are you? That was quite a fall," but before Tonks could answer, Molly continued, "And what are you doing up here? I'm assuming you know that tonight - "

Molly stopped short and began twirling her hair absentmindedly around her index finger.

"I just fancied a stroll," said Tonks simply.

"Around this place?" asked Molly suspiciously.

Tonks shrugged. Molly seemed to accept this, bade Tonks goodbye, and started off downstairs. Tonks sighed and collapsed against the wall, running a hand through her dark purple hair. She straightened herself up and stalked off toward Remus' door, her mind racing.

As she reached for the door handle she paused. Should she really be doing this? She shook off the thought immediately. She loved risks; and this was the perfect risk.

She grabbed the door handle, turned it, and opened the door in one swift moment, giving Remus no time to protest.

Tonks eyes widened at what she saw before her. It wasn't at all like she imagined, though not worse either. A large wolf-like animal stood before her, lean and gray, its fur specked with flecks of brown. It had long fang-like teeth, and sharp, lethal claws, which were balled into fists at the moment, trying to hide away from Tonks' glare. It's huge eyes were a yellowish brown, and had a thin black line down the center, exactly where the pupil was supposed to be.

But even though this creature was so different than the man Tonks knew, his wolfish features reflected his human self, though however slightly.

Remus was breathing heavily, standing on all fours on the bed, and was observing her shrewdly, as if in disbelief. His face, though covered in a mass of fur, had a look of horror on it, which made Tonks feel extremely guilty. She had barely even considered how horrified and embarrassed Remus must be at this. It had crossed her mind, of course, but mostly she had been working on building up the courage to do this.

"What are you doing?" Remus spoke, very hoarsely, and had the tone of someone attempting to conceal their anger. His disbelief seemed to have lifted as he was now hurriedly trying to shrink into the smallest shape possible, and had pulled a blanket in front of his face.

Tonks mind was a blank, and she searched for something to say. "I don't know. I mean, I do, well…no, I don't. I just…wanted to see you…like this." Tonks clapped a hand to her mouth. That had probably been the most immature and offensive thing she could have said to him. 'I just wanted to see you like this'? Was she crazy? Dread and regret began to fill her body.

She froze up, and waited for Remus to yell, scream and probably throw her forcefully out of the room.

To her utmost shock, he did nothing of the kind. He lowered his blanket slowly and straightened up, his mouth opened slightly. His yellowish eyes were observing her spookily, making Tonks fight to contain a shudder.

"Like this," he repeated mechanically, and heaved a sigh. "Like this. Nymphadora, just - this. It's terrible and horrifying. It's probably the only thing that scares me more than forgetting to take my potion and accidentally hurting someone; someone seeing me like this. Why did you want to see it? Me, like this?" His voice suddenly grew louder, "Why?"

Tonks eyes welled up with tears, but she refused to let them fall. "I think…I think I wanted to help you." As soon as she said it, she realized what she meant by it. She had wanted to be there for him, just as he had done for her. "I wanted to help you like you helped me. Last night." She half-clarified, but Remus seemed to get the picture.

"But why? Tonks, I can take care of myself. I've been doing this, alone, for almost twenty years now. I just don't need anyone."

At his last words, Tonks grew angry. "Not need anyone?" she retorted, "Not need anyone? How could you say that, Remus? Everyone needs someone! You can't live life alone! You can't shut people out! You have to let people in, or…or…you'll…explode! From everything!"

The wolf shifted. "Well, I've been doing a pretty good job of not exploding so far, haven't I?" he said bitterly, which was something new, and made Tonks smile a bit, even though she was supposed to be angry.

"Thank-you," she said smugly, and grinned a little wider.

Remus grew confused. "For what?" he snapped, though the bitterness in his tone had almost completely dissolved.

"For showing me you can be normal."

At this, Remus let out a laugh, "Normal? You call this normal?" he looked confusingly at Tonks, but, seeing her still smiling proudly, he let out a sigh.

"You know, your not, in this form I mean, what I imagined you would look like," said Tonks slyly.

"Is that a good thing?"

Tonks pondered this for a moment, and then nodded. "Yes, it is."

"Well, what do I…look like to you?" Remus said slowly.

Tonks answered immediately, "A man in a Halloween costume."

"A Halloween what?"

Tonks rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, "And you call yourself a half-blood. To Muggles, Halloween is a holiday where little Muggle children go around and dress up like ghosts and ghouls and werewolves and whatever else they find scary. Daft, eh?"

Remus smiled, or a least Tonks thought he did, and began smoothing out the blankets around him. "I wouldn't call it that. But thank you for not running out of the room when you saw me, screaming bloody murder, and being 'scarred for life'. I appreciate that."

Tonks furrowed her brow, "Why would I do that? Why would anyone who knows the real you do that?"

His smile, or whatever it was, vanished immediately, "You'd be surprised." He said quietly, and Tonks was positive she saw his wolfish body quiver for a moment.

"What?" she asked concernedly, and looked deep into his inhuman yellow eyes. As soon as their eyes met, a shiver ran through her spine; Remus may not be in his usual form, but he was still Remus.

"Someone…did something? What? Please…tell me." she knew this sounded extremely rude, but she could find no other way to put it.

"Hah," said Remus offhandedly, as though he thought Tonks hadn't really meant what she said. "You don't want to know."

Tonks raised an eyebrow. She was seeing a side of Remus she had never seen before, he seemed so bitter, so harsh, not like the usual kind-hearted, overly nice man he usually was. Maybe being a werewolf made him less capable of hiding his feelings? As soon as she thought this she felt her heart skip a beat. Not those kind of feelings, she thought sadly. But still, perhaps she could get to know a different side of him, the one underneath everything.

"I do want to know." She said quietly.

Remus shuffled uncomfortably on the bed. "It's nothing."

"Stop it, it's something, it's obviously something," she said, standing up. She promptly walked over to where he sat and slid onto the bed beside him.

Remus watched her in amazement. He moved over greatly as she settled herself, eventually deciding on sitting on her knees, facing him. She moved her hand across the bed, and grasped his animal-like one.

Remus shuddered. Tonks wasn't sure from surprise, or gratitude, or…something else.

"I want to know everything." She moved their hands onto her lap, stroking his ever so slightly, not minding in the least that it was freakishly furry, and had long, sharp claws. "Remus, please, you have to talk…if not to me…to someone. But I would really like for it to be me." She had almost choked on her last words. It probably sounded perfectly innocent to him, but it to her it was much more.

Remus studied her, and Tonks noticed he was trembling slightly. His words came out shaky and nervous, and Tonks was sure he had never told another soul what he was telling her.

"It was…this woman. I doubt you would know her. I loved her." Tonks heart froze as he said this, but still was aching for him to continue. "And then she saw me. Like this." Remus stopped and looked up at the ceiling.

Seeing that he wasn't about to go on, Tonks filled in the blanks, "And you never saw her again."

Remus smiled wryly. "Pretty much. Silly, right?"

Tonks' mouth dropped; she couldn't believe her ears, "Silly? How could anything like that be silly? That is the most horrid thing anyone could ever do! Actually," added Tonks, thinking fast, "It's worse what you're doing! And what you probably did! I mean, let me guess, she freaked and you let her, you hid in the shadows, you shrunk away, and let it torment you for the rest of your life."

Remus was apparently in shock. He lay still for a moment, barely breathing, before saying, almost silently, "Tonks…"

And that was it, just 'Tonks'. She waited for him to continue but he couldn't seem to be able to. He couldn't disagree, nor could he agree. Tonks moved closer to him, ignoring he was a werewolf at the moment, and lay her head in his shoulder, just as she had done the night before.

Remus stiffened, and closed his eyes. They sat in silence for almost ten minutes, just being with each other, until Tonks spoke.

"Was she the only woman you've ever loved?"

The question obviously took Remus by surprise. He opened his eyes and moved away a bit, breaking Tonks' position. She backed away, and waited for him to answer.

"No."

Tonks tried to study his face. It seemed almost emotionless; he wasn't letting anything slip. "Who else?" she asked bluntly.

"I can't tell you."

Tonks never took her eyes off his face. He still remained nonchalant, though his yellow eyes were fixed on the ceiling; he seemed very unwilling to meet her stare.

She decided to accept his answer, and not quiz him about it; she didn't want him any more uncomfortable than he already was. "Well, that evil woman, the one who wouldn't accept you, what was her name?"

Remus chuckled, which took Tonks aback. She supposed he found it funny that she referred to one of his loves' as 'the evil woman'.

"OK, I suppose I can tell you." He paused, and took a deep breath, "Marcia Vance."

"As in related to Emmeline Vance?"

Remus nodded, his eyes once more on the ceiling. "Her sister. Dead, now, though." He added, and Tonks thought she saw his eyes water slightly, but before she could investigate it further, he tore his eyes off the ceiling and looked deep into hers. "Your turn."

"What?" said Tonks blankly; she had not expected this.

"Have you ever loved anyone?"

Tonks gulped, and rubbed her temples. "No-well, yes, actually." It doesn't matter if you tell him who you used to love, after all, she thought forcefully. He did tell you.

"Who?" he inquired mischievously.

"Er…well…I'm not…" she broke off, this was turning out to be harder than she had expected. "Do I really have to say?"

"I told you," he said seriously, and Tonks sighed.

"Fine! Bill Weasley!" she spat out. She cringed and half-expected him to laugh; she had meant to say it a bit more gracefully.

But Remus didn't even smile, "I thought so."

"You did?"

"It's the way you look at him."

"I don't love him anymore!"

"Perhaps not," said Remus slowly, "But you have that…air of two people that have…or had…something more than a friendship."

Tonks snorted in spite of herself, "You could hardly call it having something. It was when I was in my fifth year, and he was in his seventh year. It was quite pitiful, actually; we dated for maybe a month. I was head-over-heels. He apparently wasn't. He met some gorgeous sixth-year from Beauxbatons, and suddenly, I'm history." She ended that a little more bitterly than she had anticipated, as Remus looked at her sympathetically, almost sorrowfully.

"You can hardly say it's 'pitiful'. If I do say so myself, men can be very immature and uncaring." He smiled slightly, and Tonks burst into fits of laughter.

"Not you though," she said sincerely, when she had stopped laughing, "You're about the kindest man I've ever met."

Remus raised an eyebrow (or so she thought) but said nothing.

They began to talk more freely; both almost forgetting Remus was currently a werewolf. As there conversations dived deeper into the night, Tonks began to feel her heart pound loudly in her chest almost every time Remus spoke. Now, more than ever, she started to realize that what she felt for him was much more than just a schoolgirl crush. Much, much more.

Tonks looked at her watch and gasped; it was almost six in morning, and Remus would be changing back soon. She looked over at the wolfish figure beside her, and touched his shoulder gently.

He looked up at her tiredly; after all, they had been talking all night long.

"Remus," she said, "It's almost time…" she paused thoughtfully, deciding which words were best to use here, "for you to…change back. It's nearly six."

Remus looked at her and stiffened. "I can feel it." Almost directly after he said that, he let out a groan of pain. His sharp claws were pushing themselves back into his hands, and his gray-brown fur was slowly sinking back to reveal his pale skin.

Tonks abruptly turned her back; he would obviously be naked when he transformed back, and he'd hardly want her staring at him.

After a few moments, and what sounded like an extremely painful experience; though Remus hardly let on, she heard distinct shuffling noises, and guessed he was getting changed. But she only turned when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, and felt a shiver go down her spine.

"Thanks," Remus said wearily.

Tonks studied him, and let out a soft gasp. He looked as though he had never slept a wink in his life, and his soft gray-brown hair was matted and tangled. He breathing was very heavy, and the way he was standing made it look as though he had a small limp.

"Remus…"she breathed, "You look awful. Oh, I'm so sorry, I should have never kept you up all night."

But Remus shook his head wearily. "No, I'm fine. I hardly have any rest at all anyways, and your company was definitely worth it."

Tonks smiled, took his hand and examined it, rubbing it tenderly with her thumbs.

Though she had almost no problem with his werewolf self, she was happy he was back to normal. He was so delicate, and…perfect. Tonks laughed to herself. She was being pathetic.

"Well, at least sleep now," she said sternly and ushered him over to the bed.

Remus chuckled jadedly. "Yes, ma'am."

Tonks smiled and kissed him on the cheek, causing him to blush slightly. "See you later." She turned around and walked slowly towards the door, a bubbly sensation taking over her body. She looked back at Remus, and found he was already asleep, his head gently placed in his hands, his mouth slightly open, and small rays of sunshine shadowing him beautifully.  
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_A/N: Hmmm...I really like the idea of this chapter, but I don't think I wrote it very well. Oh well. Thanks so much for the reviews, ppl! Keep it up!_

**Windedspirit: You are mentioned once again! Hmm...the case of the missing fan fic...hehe. Well, good luck with Kingsley/Tonks one! I really want to read it...once you've, like, started it. Thanks for the reviews, they really reassure me that I am not too bad of an author, lol.**

smash: Thank you, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll update really soon, I'm just editing Chapter 7 (A Kiss, A Promise, and Jealously) now.


	7. A Promise, A Kiss, And Jealousy

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter etc.

_A/N: Voila, Chapter 7! I hope you enjoy! Please review._

Chapter 7: A Promise, A Kiss, And Jealousy

As Tonks made her way slowly downstairs, her mind raced. She couldn't believe what had happened last night. Not just seeing Remus as his werewolf self, but all the new feelings that had decided to invade her body. She had known she valued Remus as a great friend, even fancied him, but she hadn't thought it would turn out to be anything like this. And there was no denying what 'this' was, either. Her breath caught, and she slowed her pace even more as she let her mind say that one powerful word that she knew would change her life forever.

Love.

_Real _love. She couldn't believe how wonderful it was making her feel, but also how…terrible. What if Remus didn't love her back? Or even fancy her? Should she confess? And when? If ever?

"Bill…."

Tonks jumped, and was thrown out of her thoughts. She quickly backtracked to the area where the voice had come from, and peered carefully into the room.

There stood an extremely pretty, twenty-or-so year old woman, with long, elegant silvery-blond hair. Beside her, or, well…_rapped around her_, was Bill, kissing her hair softly, his hands placed tenderly on hers.

"Bill, what eef your fameely does not like me?" the girl said cautiously, and moved away slightly, breaking the embrace. She flipped back her silvery hair indignantly and sighed. Bill smiled, and began caressing her fingers, "Of course they'll like you, why wouldn't they? They'll love you. Just as much as I do." The girl laughed, and flipped back her hair once more, "I 'ave met your brother before, you know. Robbie? Sometheeng like that. 'E was very odd. Notheeng like you, Bill…"

With that she swooped down and kissed him passionately, ringing her slender arms playfully around his neck. Tonks tore her eyes away, unable to watch anymore.

What was Bill doing with that girl? And why was _she_ in the Headquarters? Meeting his family? Were they serious? They couldn't be serious.

Suddenly Tonks could think of nothing else. Bill and his new girlfriend. Bill…

She gasped. Could she still be interested in Bill? No, of course not. But then why was she feeling this way?

She groaned and started down the hall. One minute she's obsessing about being in love with Remus, now she can't stop thinking about Bill.

_Remus_. Immediately the tingling feeling she knew only too well invaded her body. She sighed and stroked her hair thoughtfully.

She most certainly didn't feel the same way about Bill as she did with Remus. But what was this then? Perhaps just jealously at seeing her old boyfriend with someone else, when she was still painfully single. Painfully single and painfully in love.

Grimmauld Place was chalk-full of occupants that night at dinner. Fred and George turned up unexpectedly, and explained to a fuming Molly Weasley, that they had quit school and were off to open a joke shop in Diagon Alley. After an extremely loud screaming match however, they were begged to at least stay for dinner before setting off. Kingsley Shacklebolt had decided to take time off his hunt to find Sirius Black, to have supper with him, Elphias Dodge and Dedalus Diggle turned up, and of course Bill Weasley and his girlfriend, who's name Tonks had found out, was Fleur.

Fleur. What a stupid name, she thought. And no doubt she was from Beauxbatons, Bill seemed a thing for those girls. But seriously, this girl was a total flake. Tonks was reminded gloomily of all the giggly girls her and Bill had grown to hate so much during their time at Hogwarts together. What had happened? How could he have fallen for one?

"Tonks, can you pass the potatoes?" came Molly Weasley's motherly voice. "Tonks? Dear? Are you all right?"

Suddenly all eyes were on her. She tried not to blush, but failed miserably. "No…no, I'm fine Molly. Here." Tonks managed to successfully pass her the potatoes, forcing herself to smile.

Tonks ate her dinner as fast as she possibly could, getting a few strange looks in the process. She got up to leave, thanking Molly quickly, and was met halfway down the hall by Remus Lupin.

"Can we talk?" he asked shakily, his eyes observing hers carefully. She smiled, though slightly taken aback, and nodded, "Yeah, sure. I didn't see you at dinner, were…?"

But Remus didn't seem to be listening. His hands were fidgeting horribly at his sides, and his expression was extremely sober, almost dazed.

They turned quietly into a dusty room, in which Tonks sat down nervously, and Remus began pacing.

"Nymphadora…"

"Don't call me that, Remus," she said quickly, but her voice held very little anger, she had only added it out of habit.

"Tonks," he corrected, "About last night…"

Tonks sighed, "Remus, no, please-"

But Remus put up a finger to stop her, "No, Tonks, let me finish. About last night. You never should have come to see me. I was a werewolf, Tonks, I could…I could have hurt you! I should have never-"

"Remus! You had the Wolfsbane potion! You were perfectly harmless! Besides, you didn't seem to care much at the time…"

"Nymphadora, see, that's my point! I wasn't myself! I never am when I am a werewolf. If I was I would have never let that happen."

Tonks was growing angry. He was being stupid. As per usual.

"Let what happen? NOTHING HAPPENED. Nothing at all. Besides telling each other our deepest darkest secrets, I mean. Nothing."

But Remus seemed to be determined, "Yes, I know, but Nymphadora, something could have happened. So please, please, just promise that you'll-"

"Remus, nothing would have ever happened! You worry too much! Just-"

But Remus shook his head, beginning to grow slightly impatient, "Promise me Nymphadora. Promise me - _swear to me _- that you will never ever do that again. Never come and see me as a werewolf, never put yourself in danger."

"Remus…"

"Promise me Nymphadora." He looked at her desperately, but at the same time with overwhelming determination.

He had one hand placed loosely on his hip, and the other rubbing his forehead.

So cute, thought Tonks slyly, and sighed loudly, putting her hands lazily up in the air, admitting defeat.

"Fine," she said, dropping her hands.

"You promise?"

"I cross my heart and hope to die."

Remus smiled, and Tonks could practically see his muscles relax. It was so crazy how he took things like this. He was so…protective. And sweet. And caring. Tonks felt the usual bubbling feeling begin to sweep over her. Was now a good time to tell him?

Before she could ponder it anymore, however, Remus spoke.

"So what exactly did you mean by 'telling each other our deepest darkest secrets'?"

Tonks raised an eyebrow and cast the most wicked grin she could muster his way, "You don't remember?"

"Not really. Even with the Wolfsbane potion, most of my memories disappear as the night does."

"Well, let's see, first, you told me you were head-over-heels in love with Sirius. Can't say I didn't guess that though."

"Wha-what?"

Remus' eyes had widened, and his mouth was slightly ajar. He actually believes me, thought Tonks smugly.

She smiled deviously at him and laughed, "I was _joking_. But…" she looked at him curiously, "You're not, right?"

"Of course not," said Remus quickly. He didn't seem mad, but obviously the whole thing made him uncomfortable.

Tonks chuckled wickedly, "Well, you did tell me that you and a certain Marcia Vance were quite something awhile back…"

Remus covered his face in his hands and groaned. "I did? Really?"

"If you hadn't, would I know this?"

"Merlin…"

Tonks moved slightly closer to him, "Oh, it's not that bad. I told you who I used to love…or something like that. Hey," Tonks clapped her hands together and did something half way between a jump and dance move, "You won't remember! Hah!"

"No, that I remember."

"Who then?"

"Bill Weasley."

"Damn it."

"And by the looks of it, you're not quite over him," As Remus said this Tonks noticed his expression became a little more serious, and tone quieter.

"Why do you think that?" Tonks said stubbornly, and crossed her arms over her chest, trying hard to look offended.

"You were glaring at him and Fleur-er-_canoodling_ all through dinner. I swear, if looks could kill…"

Tonks folded her arms defensively, "How do you know I was glaring at them? Oh, you were watching me, weren't you? You naughty little…" Tonks broke off mischievously, and tried to remain serious. It was so fun to tease him.

Remus' cheeks burned, and he shifted uncomfortably, "I was not."

"You were too. Ooh you were staring at mee…" Tonks flipped back her hair playfully, and saddled up to him, causing his face to turn such a red that it would have given the Weasleys' hair a run for its money.

"I was not."

"Were too." And with that she kissed him. She had meant for it to be short and sweet, just to wind him up. But when their lips met, she couldn't pull herself away. She felt shots of electricity zoom down her spine, and her head seemed to spin. It was even more surprising that Remus wasn't pulling away. He wasn't exactly responding to it, but he most certainly wasn't not enjoying it. They stood, still kissing lightly, for a minute or so before a small 'ahem' interrupted him.

They turned and found themselves face-to-face with Sirius, who had one hand on his chin, the other on his waist and a gigantic smile on his haunted face.

"I was wondering how long it would take for you two to…" he broke off, unable to find an appropriate word, and bent down to retrieve a dirty black cloak, apparently what he had come in for.

"For us to what, exactly, oh-dear-cousin?" said Tonks defensively, beginning to feel annoyed at the fact that Sirius seemed to think that their feelings toward each other, or hers at least, were so terribly obvious.

"Was that not a kiss I just saw?" he rubbed his eyes sarcastically, and blinked daftly, "Am I going blind?"

"Oh shut it, Sirius. I was just teasing him."

She cast a nervous look at Remus. He was biting his lip and looking thoughtfully at his hands. He obviously felt Tonks' eyes on him, as he looked up and gave her a sort of half-shrug.

"Sure," said Sirius, the huge grin still very much on his face.

"She was, Sirius. Seriously. There's nothing between me and Nymphadora," said Remus plainly, now looking straight at Sirius, a very serious expression on his worn face.  
At these words, Tonks felt a stab of pain play at her heart.

Just remember, he didn't pull away from the kiss, she told herself. But then again, maybe he did really just think she was just joking around.

Sirius shrugged, "OK. Sure. Whatever," he said childishly, and brushed a hand through his grubby black hair.

"Oh, sod off, Sirius." Tonks stuck out her tongue at him, and walked towards the door. As she turned into the hall, she saw Remus and Sirius beginning to talk quietly, and, judging by the silly expression on Sirius' face, and Remus' half-annoyed one, it couldn't be far off from what she had just left.

She entered the kitchen as quietly as she could, and began, despite Molly's' protests, to help with the dishes.

"Oh, I can't believe Bill fell for her," said Molly stubbornly, scrubbing the plate she was holding with unnecessary force, "Fleur. Merlin. You know, she's part Veela, and I think she's put him under some kind of spell. Bill doesn't really fall for her type…he falls for women like…well, women like you, dear."

Tonks felt jealousy and anger shoot through her veins at once. Fleur and Bill. Merlin, and she'd just got them out of her mind.

"I know," she said simply, and they continued drying the dishes in silence.

"Tonks, dear, we're about done now," said Molly sweetly, as she began to stack the last plates, "Why don't you go talk to…Bill, say, and I'll finish off. Go on."

Tonks thanked her and started off into the sitting room, which was packed with people.

And, in the very corner, Tonks spotted Bill and Fleur, making out abnormally loudly.

When they were finished, Tonks walked up and greeted Bill, making no sign she knew Fleur was even standing there, "Wotcher Bill," she said amiably, causing Fleur to make a small 'hmmph' sound, and walk away angrily, to where Charlie and Hestia Jones stood, looking awfully comfy.

"Hey, Tonks," he said, sighing, and watched Fleur give Tonks numerous dirty looks.

"What are you doing with her?" asked Tonks bluntly. Might as well get to the point.

"Why would you care?" he asked quietly, his eyes still on Fleur.

Tonks sighed, "I don't know."

"You think I should be with someone like you?"

Tonks looked up at her and saw his eyes were now on her. She smiled and gave a girlish giggle, which she immediately regretted, "Yeah, I guess."

She felt herself moving closer to him, "Someone like me…" she repeated, slowly.

Bill seemed suddenly uncomfortable, "Look, Tonks, I like you and all…but…"

Those words hit just as if he had slapped her. She recoiled, and took a deep breath. What are you doing? She screamed to herself. Why are you wasting your breath on him?

"Merlin…" she said slowly, and blushed, "I'm sorry Bill."

And with that she turned, and headed for the door. She went straight upstairs to her room, and shut the door forcefully. "I'm so stupid," she breathed, and sank down onto her bed, wanting to shrink away forever.

----

Remus waited until she had slammed her door, before heading up the creaky staircase after her. He swiftly swept into the door to his room, and closed it as silently as he could, before flopping down his bed, sighing heavily.

Why am I obsessing about this?

_Who wouldn't after seeing the girl who just kissed you flirting openly with someone else.  
_

She didn't really kiss me.

_Yes she did._

Well, what do I care if she was flirting with Bill? It's a free country.

_You fancy her.  
_

I don't.

_You do. And she fancies you._

_  
_No, she doesn't. Why would she fancy someone like me?

_Why wouldn't she?_

_  
_I'm too old, too poor, too dangerous.

_It doesn't matter; you still fancy each other!_

_  
_Nymphadora does NOT fancy me.

_She does._

_  
_This is ridiculous. I'm fighting with myself.

Remus sighed and rubbed his temples. He had to stop thinking like this; it was driving him crazy.

----


	8. Losses

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing fan fics.

Chapter 8: Losses

"It's Lestrange!" called Moody's growling voice from behind her.

Tonks froze, and glared up at the figure standing over her. Her aunt gave an evil smile and drew her wand, cackling maniacally. Earlier that evening, her and the rest of the Order had received an urgent message from Snape that Voldemort and his Death Eaters had lured Harry and his friends to the Department of Mysteries, making it seem that Sirius was being held captive. The Order had wasted no time in getting there. When they arrived at the Ministry the Dark Mark was already hanging idly in the calm night sky. They had, of course, feared the worst, and barged right in.

No one seemed to be dead, but quite a lot of Death Eaters lay scattered across the floor, groaning in pain. Harry and his friends sure did a good job, thought Tonks smugly.

"So, little bittle Tonksie, come to fight her Auntie Bella? How cute," Bellatrix cooed in a terrible, mock baby voice, "_Stupefy_!" she cried, unexpectedly, and Tonks felt the spell zoom by her cheek.

Too close, she thought.

"_Impedimenta_!" Tonks yelled, and felt a wave of triumph when Bellatrix let out a screech of pain; the spell had hit her. She turned quickly to the remaining members of the Order, and shouted, "I got her…someone get that one," she pointed to a large blonde Death Eater, who was shooting spells everywhere, "Before he blows up something important."

Tonks couldn't believe she was the one giving orders. Moody and Kingsley had already gone off to battle, and they were the ones who usually seemed to jump to the position of leadership. It was surprising to see that most of the Order seemed to be shaking in their boots. Dedalus Diggle and Hestia Jones, to name a few.

"Are you sure you don't need any help with her?" asked a hoarse voice from behind her. She turned, and nodded impatiently. "Yes, Remus, I've got her," she replied, and gestured towards the hysterically screaming Bellatrix.

He nodded swiftly, and set off, brushing her slightly as he passed. Tonks felt her heart involuntarily melt as they touched, if only for half a second.

Bellatrix was getting to her feet, still screaming and thrashing about madly. "_AV-_"

"_Stupefy_!" retorted Tonks.

But Bellatrix quickly dodged it, "_Cru-_"

"_REDUCTO_!"

No use; Bellatrix was too fast. "_CAMISIO_!" her ghastly aunt shrieked, waving her wand wildly.

Tonks gasped. The spell had hit her. She felt something soft and dreadfully cold pushing itself down her throat, through all her organs and veins, creeping down her legs, towards her toes and…BANG! She felt herself being smacked in the face. She crumpled to the door, twitching horribly, until everything went black…

Remus Lupin slammed open the front doors to St. Mungo's, nervously biting his lower lip, and ran straight up to the 'Welcomewitch'.

"Nymphadora Tonks!" he said shakily, breathing heavily.

The witch gave him a cold stare. "Sir, visiting hours ended ages ago. Please escort yourself out."

"I need to see Nymphadora Tonks."

"Visiting hours are over, sir."

"You don't understand. I _need_ to see her. They - they said she's not doing well…"

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow to-"

"No!" Remus' voice rose suddenly, "I need to see Nymphadora Tonks!"

"Sir-"

"Fine, I'll find her myself then." He turned quickly, and began to walk fast down the halls.

A Healer began to approach him, but he shook her off. "Sir - please…we're-"

"Move," he said harshly and roughly pushed past her.

"Sir!"

Remus looked down a narrow hallway. On the wall, a creaky sign read, '"_Dangerous" Dai Llewellyn Ward: Serious Bites_.' He shook his head impatiently and rushed up the stairs, not stopping until he reached the fourth floor, '_Spell Damage'_.

He ran into the first room; empty. The second room contained an old witch and grizzly-looking wizard. Third –

"Excuse me, sir?" an old Healer approached him, followed by a motley crew of others. "You can't be here. Visiting hours are over."

Remus took a deep breath, and tried to get by the crowd of Healers, who were now blocking the door to the third room. "Yes, but I need to see Nymphadora Tonks right _now_."

He glanced over their heads at the doorway, quickly reading the sign that said, 'Tonks, Nymphadora.'

"Sir - "

But Remus had lost it. Why didn't they just understand he needed to see her? He curled his fists aggressively into balls, clutching his wand at the same time, and shouted angrily, "GET OUT OF THE BLOODY WAY! MOVE! I NEED TO SEE NYMPHADORA TONKS! NOW!"

Shocked, the Healers made almost no rejection as he charged through them, slipped into the room, and locked the door behind him.

"Why, Remus, I didn't think you were such an angry person," said a croaky voice from behind him.

Remus turned quickly in surprise. "I'm not," he said simply, and moved toward the hospital bed, his hands placed loosely in his pockets, feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness fall over him at the sight of Tonks looking happily at him from her hospital bed.

Tonks smiled slightly, and yawned. "Was that not you out there that I heard screaming at those poor Healers?"

Remus blushed, and bit his lip, "Well, yes, but I'm not an angry person."

"You'd just do anything for me," she said, in such a tone that it was impossible to know if she was being sarcastic or not.

Remus remained silent, and soundlessly took her hand in his, brushing his thumb up and down it gently.

"You know, according to what my Healer told me - cheeky old cow - that I have had 'absolutely no visitors whatsoever', that makes you my first. Congratulations."

But Remus could not force himself to smile, "Look, Tonks, the reason I came…"

"We totally annihilated those Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries, didn't we?"

"Yes, but Tonks…"

"Ooh, I heard Malfoy was put away. Merlin, if I could see the look on his face…"

Remus sighed. "Tonks."

"And you know, I'm really-"

'Tonks, please." Remus looked deep into her eyes, studying her, pleading with her.

Tonks inhaled deeply, and began fidgeting slightly with her hands.

"Remus…someone…someone's died, haven't they?" she mumbled, but continued looking at him.

Remus stiffened, and looked away at the wall.

"Yes." He choked out the words, as if saying it really made it final.

"W-who?" Tonks eyes had glistened up with tears, and her face had become extremely sober, looking hardly recognizable.

Remus was silent for a long time, then took a slow, rattling breath and spoke, "Sirius."

Tonks let out a wail, and leaned forward, crying loudly into her hands. Remus stepped forward and draped his arms around her.

Tonks quickly accepted the hug, rapping her arms around his neck. She sniffed loudly, grabbing hold of his t-shirt. They stayed, Tonks sobbing hysterically; Remus looking blankly onto the wall opposite him, feeling nothing, for near an hour, before Tonks lifted her head and whispered hoarsely into his ear, "I'm glad it wasn't you."

"What?" Remus broke the embrace apart, backing off, looking once more into her deep blue eyes.

"I mean, I love - loved - Sirius…he's my cousin, you know…but…I'll survive. I know I will. It's just…if you…if you died instead of him, I don't think I would be able to take it."

Remus was dumbstruck. Nymphadora not being able to live without him? Could she…?

No, Remus shook off the thought immediately.

She just values you as a friend, he told himself sternly. Just as you value her as one.

"Me," he said quietly, almost whispering, as he studied her expression.

Tonks nodded, and snuggled up to him once more.

Remus sighed and decided to let the matter lie at that. Though, he couldn't help but feel a slight surge of joy at her words.

And then he thought, could _he _live without _her_?

_A/N: I know, I know, it was short. But I think it was really necessary. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure the next chapter is longer! _

**Windedspirit: Yet another mention! o0! Thank-you sooo much for the reviews. Wow. I can't wait 4 ur fan fic, lol. Yeah, I wanted Remus to be normal during his transformation, and it does say his mind stays normal (in POA) with the Wolfsbane potion...but hmm.I just love him too much, hehe. I know! Tonks and Remus...hehe! I had to get a kiss in there. Actually, I named the chapter before I wrote it (stupid, I know) so I had to make it work. I was gonna make her kiss Bill, but (again) I love Remus too much. I'm glad you enjoyed that. And as for another kiss between those two...well, I'm not gonna tell u that. Lol. Thank-you! I'm so glad u think this qualifies as a good romance story! I hope u liked this (yet another) chapter!**

_**smash: Thank-you! Yeah, but I think Remus would be like that. He has such low self-confidence that he thinks it impossible that someone like Tonks (anyone for that matter) would fall for him.**_

GreenTea&Honey: Thanks! Hehe, I'm glad you think that...

BexyLou: Thank-you, I hope you liked this chapter...)


	9. Confessions

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

_A/N: I hope you like this chapter…_

Chapter 9: Confessions

Nymphadora Tonks stood as still, and as cold, as a stone, looking sorrowfully at the large, run-down mansion before her. Grimmauld Place.

Tonks shut her eyes tightly and shook her head, making the drips of water clinging to her drenched hair falling quickly onto the hard ground around her.

I can't do it, she thought tearfully, and felt a single tear fall down her already wet cheeks. I can't face this house again, not after…everything.

But he'll be there, a second voice consoled her. Besides, you can't just avoid this place forever.

Tonks wiped her cheeks and slowly opened her eyes, letting them blur for a moment, trying to focus. She put one hand wearily on the other, and started towards the grimy old house.

The door was already open, yet the front hall was absolutely deserted.

"Hello?" she called nervously, peering around a corner.

No answer.

She silkily made her way up the stairs, and somehow managed to not trip. When she reached the landing she let out a muffed groan, and felt tears begin to dig once more at the back of her eyes. This floor was all too familiar. Every doorway, every wall, every painting, reminded her overwhelming of her cousin. This had been the floor where they had shared many laughs, chats, and mortifying duels of teasing.

Tonks slumped against the nearest wall, her face in her hands.

I am not going to cry again, she told herself. Not again…

She turned slightly on the wall, so her ear was pressed firmly to it.

Suddenly, from inside the wall, she heard distinct shuffling movements. Someone was in that room.

She lifted herself from the wall, and moved towards the door.

It was Remus' room.

Her heart gave a jump and she felt signs of a smile begin to creep over her features.

Without another thought, she turned the handle and listlessly pushed the door open.

The room was bare, expect for a small cot in the very back, and the shabby man sitting upon it. The man started as the door opened, and his head flew to where Tonks stood. His face looked even more tired and beaten than usual, and his usual welcoming smile was nowhere to be seen.

They stared at each other silently, yet the silence was comfortable, like they didn't need to say anything, because they understood this moment so perfectly. Tonks started forwards, kneeling by his bed, and took his hand, proceeding to lovingly caress it with her thumb and forefinger.

"Tonks…" he spoke quietly, barely a whisper.

Tonks looked down, "Are you here to collect your stuff?"

Remus shook his head, "Hardly. I have no possessions to take. I just wanted to…stay here, just one last night. To…remember him…remember Sirius." His eyes showed signs of tears, but he hastily brushed them away.

Tonks nodded, not really in agreement, but in understanding, "I really miss him Remus," she choked.

"Me too," he murmured, his face now so close to Tonks' that she could feel his warm breath on her throat.

She shivered and looked up at him, "I bet you miss him more. You've known him almost forever and you two were so…close. I mean, I wish…I don't know. I really wish I knew him better. I only really got to know him for a year. And now, just like that, he's…gone."

She sniffed and hugged herself tightly, looking deep into his sparkling brown eyes.

Remus said nothing. He couldn't, really. He couldn't deny that he was closer to Sirius, and he couldn't say that anything else she stated was untrue. Instead, he pulled her close, rapping himself around her warm body.

Tonks responded to the gesture, wringing her arms around his neck, soaking in his scent. They were so close, almost cheek-to-cheek, and Tonks felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him, really kiss him.

Tell him now, a small voice coaxed in her head.

Tonks went cold. Should she? She backed out of the hug, and looked him square in the eye.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Remus got there first, "When did they release you?"

Tonks froze, stunned for a moment, before her mind processed what he had just asked. "Oh, um, what?" she spluttered.

"St. Mungo's. When did you get out?"

Tonks lifted her head in comprehension, "Oh, that. Just yesterday, actually. I was really glad; it's dead boring in there. You know, you were probably the only interesting person that visited me there. I'm really glad you did."

Remus managed a smile, "So am I," he said hoarsely, and looked at her, his brown eyes studying her carefully.

Tonks couldn't bear it anymore. She felt a stream of tears begin to fall down her face, wetting them once more. Remus lifted his hand, and gently wiped the tears away, his eyes still on hers.

"It'll be okay," he said soothingly, though Tonks knew he didn't mean it.

Suddenly he bent down, moving his face closer to hers, attempting to give her a comforting kiss on the cheek. Surprised by this, Tonks turned her head quickly, making their lips collide. Immediately both pulled away, Remus looking embarrassed and apologetic, Tonks' expression unreadable.

"I'm sorry," gushed Remus, "I had just meant to-"

But Tonks had swooped down and pressed her lips to his once more, cutting off his apology. The feeling of electricity once again flew down Tonks' spine, and she gasped despite herself. The kiss stayed tender and simple for only a moment, as Tonks rapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him even closer. She kissed him now with urgency, and with the passion that she had kept locked away for almost a year now. To her surprise he didn't draw away. He responded just as forcefully to her kiss, almost with more intensity. Tonks moved her lips over his, her fingers now entangling themselves in his hair. Remus put his arms around her waist, and swung her over onto the bed. Slowly, Tonks assembled herself on top of him, and began playing with the buttons of his shirt. Their kiss was still electrifying her, and Tonks could barely breathe. She moved her hands across his now bare chest, tracing every scar, tenderly touching every bruise.

Suddenly, Remus broke away from the kiss, and scattered up to a sitting position, almost throwing her off him.

He looked bewildered, and guilt was written all over his face. "What…why…w-why did you do that?" he said shakily, his breath heavy.

Tonks was dumbfounded. "I kissed you…well, I kissed you because I love you."

There, she had said it. She cringed slightly, waiting for his reply.

His face was blank, his eyes wide in surprise. "You…what? You…love me? Me?"

Tonks raised an eyebrow and said, almost bitterly, "Isn't this Remus Lupin? I'm sorry, have I got the wrong man? Damn it, I always do that…"

Remus made no response to her sarcasm. "Tonks, no, you can't love me. No…we can't…you can't…no."

"Don't you think I know my own feelings? I love you. More than anything in the world. Please, Remus, I don't know what…"

Remus shook his head, "Tonks we can never be together. We just-"

Tonks was beginning to grow angry, "Remus, why not? I love you, and…and maybe you don't love me, but you did kiss me back, there's no denying that, so you must…you must feel something…"

"No, Tonks, it's not that-"

"Remus, please! We would be great together…we could work it out, whatever-"

Remus interrupted her, "No! Tonks, it's not that! It's-I'm-we can't. I'm too old for you, and a werewolf, for Merlin's sake, I could never let anything happen to you."

Tonks looked at him with confusion. She noticed that he was now pulling on his shirt, buttoning it hastily. "Remus, I would think you would know me better than that by now. I don't care about your age, or your lycanthropy or anything else you think is wrong with you. In fact, I think I love you because of it…or despite it or…whatever. Please, Remus…" she paused and closed her eyes for a moment, "Do you love me?"

Remus abruptly stopped buttoning his shirt, and looked at his hands, sighing deeply, "Nymphadora, I can't answer that."

"If you love me, there's no reason we shouldn't be together. Please…do you love me?"  
Tonks made a grab for his hands, but he quickly withdrew them, and backed away from her. Tonks felt her heart sink and a new batch of tears threaten to fall, but she pushed them away.

"I can't answer that," he repeated very hoarsely.

"Fine, you don't love," she spat, "But then what the hell was that kiss? Did you mean it? Or were you just playing around with my emotions?"

Tonks refused to let him move another inch, as she was know pinning him to the headboard, her face so close to his that the tips of their nose were touching.

Remus sighed once more, and Tonks loosened her hold on him slightly, her insides once again dissolving at the heat of his breath.

"Tonks," he started, his voice so quiet that Tonks had to strain her ears to hear him, "Me loving you is not what matters here. We just can't be together. We can't-"

"So you don't care about me? You just fooled around with me for a laugh. Well, laugh then. Haha. That does seem funny doesn't it? Playing around with a girl, making her think you care about her when you don't, and then, to finish it off, break her heart. Haha." Tonks moved so her mouth was directly above his ear and said hoarsely, as her voice was breaking up from the tears now streaming down her face. "At the very least, Remus, I thought you were my friend."

She moved up off him, and jumped off the bed, almost choking on her river of tears.  
"Nymphadora, wait." Remus looked up at her, his eyes finally meeting hers. "I was not just fooling around with you. And you are my friend, probably the only real friend I've had after James and…" He bit his lip but continued without pausing, "Sirius. I really care about you, and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. But we can't be together. We just can't."

"If you love me, we can," said Tonks forcefully, the tears still running silently down her pale face.

"No, Nymphadora, this is real life. Love can't conquer all. Like I said before, I'm too old for you, and I'm a werewolf. Not to mention poor. I could never support you."

"Remus, none of that stuff matters. I'm an Auror, and I make a pretty good amount from that, even if all I do is bloody paperwork. You're not old, I mean, you're barely thirty-seven! As for being a werewolf, Remus, I. Don't. Care. There are ways of getting around that. With the Wolfsbane Potion, you are completely harmless. And I know this first hand, if you remember." Tonks couldn't resist adding the last bit.

"Nymphadora, no. I'm not going to change my mind. It just won't work." Remus put his face in his hands and let out another sigh.

Tonks felt her face harden, then felt the tears spill again, "I love you Remus. And love does conquer all."

With that she turned quickly on her heel and left his room, slamming the door behind her.

Remus felt himself collapse on his bed, his face still in his hands. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Nymphadora Tonks had not only just kissed him, but had also confessed she was in love with him. But, that was hardly the most surprising thing.  
He had just realized that he was in love with her too.

Remus couldn't believe it. He, of course, found her very attractive and suspected that he maybe, maybe, even fancied her. But love? No way. And this wasn't like anything he had ever felt before. He had the overwhelming urge to kiss her, talk to her, and just be with her all the time. Forever.

Yet what had he done? He had rejected her. And he had hardly done it kindly; he had practically thrown her out.

He groaned and turned over on his bed. This was eating him up inside. How he wished he could just have her there beside him…just tell her that maybe…

No, he told himself firmly, I am too old, too poor, and too dangerous for her. I could never let her be hurt.

_You're hurting her now,_ came a second voice.

I'm protecting her.

_Keep telling yourself that._

_  
_It's true. If I hurt her, I would never ever forgive myself. Ever.

_Well, what do you think you've done to her now? Made her happy?_

_  
_No! It's just…emotional pain isn't as bad as physical pain.

_Hah. That's not true and you know it, you've experienced just how bad emotional pain _

_can be._

_  
_She doesn't really want to be with me. I'm sure of it. What could she see in me?

_Everything. _

_  
_She'll realize eventually that I'm too old, too poor, and too dangerous for her.

_Will you give it a rest with that line?_

But it's true!

_No, it's not. You're being ridiculous. _

_  
_I am not.

_Yes, you are. She loves you and you love her. There should be nothing more to it._

_  
_Will you shut up?

_Not until you realize you're being an idiot._

Fine, I'm being an idiot. But that doesn't mean I'm changing my mind.

Remus wrenched himself from his thoughts and sighed, probably for the millionth time this evening. He brushed a hand through his graying hair and felt anger rumble within him.

He just wanted to yell. And curse. And just…throw something! Why did he always have to be the sensible one? And why did terrible things always happen to him? Why couldn't everyone just leave him alone?

_Because you don't want them to,_ came the small voice once more.

That was it. Remus jumped up and grabbed the closest thing he could, which happened to be his beside lamp, and chucked it as hard as he could against the far wall.

_Crash._

_  
_Remus crumpled to the floor and looked thoughtlessly at the shattered pieces on glass and plastic. He spotted a random piece and felt his heart fall. He put his face in his arms once more and groaned.

The shattered piece of glass was coloured an extraordinary bubble-gum pink.

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone. I'd just like to say, that I appreciate all reviews. So, if you find something that you don't agree with, or think I could improve on, if you tell me about it in your reviews, that would be great. This is my first fan fic, and I'm just getting used to it, so I'll be happy for suggestions etc., that will help me improve. Thanks! _

Also, if you want to send in a review, but you don't want it posted and replied to (like you can see below) just let me know, and I won't.

**eyeshadow5746: Thank-you. I hope you liked this chapter!**

smash: Yeah, you're probably right :( that's not really like him. I was kinda trying to show how much he cared about her...but, thanks for letting me know though, and I'll keep that in mind later, although there is one part that Ican't really get around that involves Remus acting similar to that.And thanks SO much for the reviews, they're awesome!

Griffendorgal: **Yeah, I like H/G and J/L too. Thanks for the review and I'll have the next chapter upsoon (though possibly longer than it took with this one cause I'm doing some work on a later chapter right now)!**

Windedspirit: They admitted it a bit, yes. Well, Tonks gave some not-so-subtle hints, hehe. Ooooooh, so are you happy about what happened with Tonks and Remus after she got out of St.Mungo's, lol? Hehe. Is it really your favourite? Yay! Keep the reviews coming, lol, hope u liked this chappie!

**BexyLou: Thank-you! I know, he is...sigh.  
**


	10. The Raging War Begins

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter Ten: The Raging War Begins  
_  
_Tonks stared back at her miserable reflection.

Her normally perky smile had vanished. Her small, usually cheery, heart-shaped face looked tired and ill. And, worst of all, her hair was a despicable mousy brown, which was her real hair colour.

She had lost her metamorphmaging powers.

Tonks scrunched up her face in concentration, trying to think about nothing but spiky, bubblegum pink hair.

Bubblegum pink, spiky bubblegum pink. Bubblegum pink…

_Remus Lupin._

Bubblegum pink. Bright, cheery, lovely, wild, bubblegum pink.

_Why won't he be with you?_

_  
_Bubblegum pink.

_Those stupid excuses he was using…'too old, too poor, too dangerous', what was that all about?_

_  
_Bubblegum pink. Spiky, bubblegum pink.

_You know -_

_  
_BUBBLEGUM PINK DAMN IT!

Her hair flashed mauve for a moment, before it returned to an even more lanky, grotesque brown. Tonks felt sobs making their way to her eyes, but she shook her head firmly, fighting them off. She was not going to cry again. She'd already shed enough tears over him.

Why wouldn't he just come round…?

He must not love me, she thought sadly. But he's hardly handling this kindly. Why won't he just tell me the truth instead of all these false, idiotic reasons? I'm just so awful at mind games…

Tonks looked hopelessly at her watch. 5:59. She should be Apparating to the Burrow now. She turned quickly, and with a whirl of her cloaks she disappeared into thin air, reappearing five hundred miles away, in a small, gnome infested garden.

Sighing, she started towards the front door, moonlight splashing her robes. As she reached for the doorknob she straightened herself up, cleared her throat, and wiped away any traces that showed she had been crying.

She briskly knocked on the door. She heard a woman, presumably Molly, telling everyone to get off to bed.

"Who is it?" called Molly Weasleys' voice pleasantly from inside.

"Tonks," she answered calmly.

Molly didn't even bother with the security questions. She opened the door quickly and ushered Tonks inside.

"I'll make some tea," said Molly, once Tonks had taken a seat at the large dinner table. "Tonks, dear, you look absolutely terrible."

So much for being subtle, thought Tonks.

Tonks forced a smile. "Yeah, well…yeah," she said lamely, looking down at her hands with fake curiosity.

"Oh, dear, what's wrong? Please tell me, you'll feel better, I promise." Molly quickly poured the tea into two orange cups, set them down on the table, and drew up a chair beside Tonks.

"Oh, Molly, I shouldn't bother you," said Tonks, once again attempting a smile. "It's my problem, not yours."

"It's a man, isn't it?" asked Molly sternly.

Tonks sighed, "Yes, yes, it is. But look Molly, I'm fine," once again she plastered a false smile upon her face. "I'll just finish the cup of tea and be off."

"Nonsense, dear. I invited you round, and you will stay until I say you can go," said Molly crossly, her lips pursed.

Tonks sighed and took a sip of tea.

"Now, dear, please tell me about this man," continued Molly, "I promise it's no bother. Merlin knows I need a bit of drama around here."

Tonks looked up sadly at Molly. "It's just this…bloke. I love him, and…well, he just doesn't want me. It's like he's scared or something."

"Scared of what?"

Tonks bit her lip. "That's just the thing, I don't know. I don't know what he's afraid of! I wish he would just tell me. I…I love him so much." Tonks looked down at her tea, determined not to cry.

"Oh, Tonks…" Molly put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He'll come round. All men do. Once they figure out what they're missing. Why…why don't you pretend to move on, start talking to a few other men; get him jealous, then I'm sure - "

Tonks shook her head forcefully. "No, Molly, that won't work. He's not like that. He's so kind, and sensitive, he's just not the jealous type. And, judging by the way he's acting now, he'd be more than happy if I moved on."

Molly gave Tonks an understanding look, sighed, and moved over to the window. "Full moon tonight," she commented absently.

With that, Tonks burst into tears, unable to hold them back another second. Molly ran to her side and hugged her.

"Oh, Tonks…dear…" she backed away from the hug and looked Tonks sadly in the eye. "It's Remus, isn't it?"

Tonks let out a moan, and nodded.

Molly sighed, and rubbed her back comfortingly. "Tell me everything, dear."

Tonks hiccoughed and began explaining to Molly everything that had happened that night.

"Why won't he just say he doesn't love me?" Tonks sobbed. "Why does he have to keep making up these stupid excuses?"

"He does love you," said Molly firmly. "If he didn't, he wouldn't be doing what he's doing. He thinks this would be easier than just saying he loves you back. Easier for you; easier for him."

Tonks blinked, and wiped her cheeks. "Then why is he saying we can't be together? If…if we love each other, nothing else matters!"

Molly gave her a wry smile. "Try telling him that."

Tonks sighed and stood up. "I should be going Molly, it's late and I have to go in work early tomorrow."

"OK, dear." Molly nodded and cleared up her tea. "But just remember this: don't give up on him. He'll come round eventually. Just don't give up."

Tonks nodded glumly, when a three loud knocks came from the door.

"Who's there?" called Molly nervously. "Declare yourselves!"

"It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry," came Dumbledores' calming voice.

Molly rushed over and opened the door. "Harry, dear! Gracious, Albus, you gave me a fright, you said not to expect you before morning!"

"We were lucky," said Dumbledore, ushering Harry over the threshold. "Slughorn proved much more persuadable than I had expected. Harry's doing, of course. Ah, hello Nymphadora!"

Tonks fought to contain a sigh. She had wanted to slip out the back door before anyone noticed her. "Hello, Professor," she said. "Wotcher, Harry."

"Hi, Tonks," answered the eager-looking teenager, now frowning slightly at the sight of her looking so miserable.

"I'd better be off," said Tonks quickly, standing up and pulling her cloak around her shoulders. "Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly."

Damn, she thought, as she watched Dumbledore's lined face frown slightly. I shouldn't have said that.

"Please don't leave on my account," said Dumbledore courteously. "I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrimgeour."

Oh, Merlin, thought Tonks. He knows, I know he knows.

"No, no, I need to get going," said Tonks, not meeting Dumbledore's eyes. "'Night - "

Molly jumped up, her eyes suddenly shining. "Dear, why not come to dinner at the weekend, Remus and Mad-Eye are coming -?"

Dumbledore looked at Tonks comfortingly, his bright blue eyes full of understanding.  
I cannot take anymore of this, thought Tonks. I have to get out. _Now_.

"No, really, Molly…thanks anyways…goodnight, everyone."

Tonks hurried past Dumbledore, not meeting his eyes and walked out the door, feeling perhaps just a little less miserable than when she came.

She looked sadly up at the full moon and took a deep breath. Molly was right on one point, however. If he really loved her, than Tonks wasn't about to let him get away this easily.

----

"…And on a different note, Grimmauld Place has now been cleared, and the Order will be resuming to meet there in a month or two, because, from what I've heard, Kreacher-er-created a bit of a mess there after we left, so I will need a few volunteers to go and…clean up" finished Dumbledore, clasping his wrinkled hands together, and smiling pleasantly.

Everyone stood up, pushing their chairs in with a loud screeching noise.

Remus exited the room quickly, not wanting to talk to anyone, and judging by the looks Tonks was giving him throughout the meeting, she was going to try and convince him again. Which was just what he needed, especially with the full moon tomorrow…

_Then why don't you just let yourself by with her?_

To his dismay, he felt sharp nails dig into his right arm and forcefully began to drag him down a long hallway.

Tonks turned on him, her sad eyes and mousy brown hair very prominent. Remus felt a twinge of guilt when he saw this.

Look how much she's suffering…all thanks to you, he thought bitterly.

"Tonks, please, I can't-" but before he could get another word out, she pinned him against the wall, and softly pressed her lips against his.

Remus let the kiss linger for a moment, before breaking away.

"How could you say no to that?" she asked harshly, her voice quiet but strong. "How can you say no to me when you love me back? We would be great together, Remus."

Remus sighed, and let his words slip out without thinking, "I never said I loved you."

Tonks froze, and Remus could have hit himself. "Maybe not…" she said coolly, her voice rising dramatically, "But you must feel something, Remus, please…"

"Tonks, we can't be together. I'm a werewolf, and outcast, you don't want that," Remus said quietly, avoiding her eyes.

Tonks' features suddenly sharpened, as did her words, "Remus, don't you dare-don't you _dare_- go and say that I shouldn't be with you because you're different. Don't you think I know what it's like to be an outcast? Maybe I don't turn into a bloodthirsty monster once a month, but I know rejection. Being a clumsy metamorphmagus isn't all fun and games, you know. And, at least you had friends in Hogwarts. I was a total loner, except for the occasional prank or two I pulled with Bill Weasley, but we all know that ended up. So, don't you even think about using that excuse on me. Remus, I love you and I don't care about anything else…"

Tonks' words hit Remus hard, but he refused to back down. "Tonks, you can't love me. You'll soon realize that. I'm just too old, too poor, too dangerous…"

"So you're afraid of me hurting you?" Tonks half-shouted. "I would never hurt you Remus. And you say you would never hurt me. But you are now though; you know that? You're hurting me more than I knew I could ever hurt before. You're killing me, Remus Lupin."

Remus felt a chill run through his body. He knew he was hurting her. He knew it, and that fact alone was hurting him.

_So stop the hurt. Be with her, _whispered the voice.

"Shut up," he muttered aloud.

Tonks looked shocked. "Wh-what?" she spluttered, her eyes filling with tears.

Remus was horrified. "No, not you," he hurriedly tried to explain, "It's me, I mean, I was talking to me, there's this voice and - "

Tonks turned away from him. "Whatever, Remus," she said, her voice muffled, but Remus could still hear the hurt in it. "I'm going. Just…please."

She gave him a long, passionate kiss before hurrying off down the hallway, her light brown hair bouncing along behind her.

Remus sighed and fell back against the wall. He didn't know much more he could take of this.

Just then, Molly walked past.

"Hmmph," she commented, giving him an extremely cold stare. "Remus, I can hardly approve of-"

Remus sighed. "Molly, I just can't. I'm sorry, but I can't." He didn't know if he was saying that he wasn't up for talking to her about this, or the same thing he was telling Tonks.

Molly gave him another stare, "Well, in that case, I'll ask you to keep your lovers quarrels to a shouting minimum. Unless, of course, you _want_ the whole Order hearing about it."

Remus groaned and closed his eyes. This was perfect. Just perfect.

Tonks collapsed onto her messy bed in her flat, her eyes red and her eyelids puffy from crying. She had just, once again, confronted Remus and tried to convince him to give them a chance. And, once again, he had said no in the absolutely worst way possible, though still being as polite as ever.

But, the thing that got to her the most wasn't the rejection, and it wasn't the fact that he was being so annoying daft and polite at the same time. It was something that she thought she had hated, but now that he had stopped saying it, she realized she could barely go on without hearing it, just once, just his soft lips forming the syllables…

He had stopped calling her Nymphadora.

----

_A/N: I know, I know, cheesy. Sorry!_

_**PiaMcKinnon: Glad you liked it :) Thanks, I wasn' t sure about the shattered pieces thing...I'm glad it wasn't too corny. I know I love the Remus/Tonks thing! hmmm..**_

tigerflesh: Wow, thanks for all the reviews...glad you liked it!

BexyLou: **_Hehe, I know, I know...but I'm trying to keep with canon so...  
But don't worry, when they finally get together...:)_**

smash: thank-you! i apperciate your reviews...hope u liked this chapter!

Windedspirit: I know...I couldn't take it any longer, hehe! I know, Tonks kinda did, didn't she? Oh, well, caught up in the moment, I'll say...lol. Thanks that really means alot...-feeling special-. Hope you liked this chappie...

eyeshadow5746: _**Yeah, I think (most romance) fan fics are quite alot like soap operas. Always dramatic. But they would be kinda boring w/o. Thanks so much for the reviews!**_

DramaQueen04: Oh, i missed you last chapter (I sent it in and about a few moments later your review came in)! I know, once I think about it, leading up to that kiss was quite like miss congenlity. hehe. Thanks alot for the review!  



	11. Memories and A Bittersweet Confession

Disclaimer: I. Own. Nothing.

_A/N: I know took longer than I usually do to post, and this isn't even the best of chapters, but I was working on a later chapter. Enjoy! _

Also, the song that Tonks is singing in this chapter is 'Kiss Me'_ by _Sixpence None The Richer._ It's an awesome song and I thought it fit in nicely.  
_

_Also (again), the long part in Italics is a flashback. I just didn't want to do "Flashback" and "End of Flashback"._

Chapter Eleven: Memories and A Bittersweet Confession

A heavy fog surrounded the old mansion, making it almost disappear into the freezing night air. Everything was silent, even the generally loud and rowdy neighbors were restraining from their usual non-stop partying. It was as if the world knew something was going to happen, and were slowly preparing for it.

A loud 'pop' broke the eerie quiet, and a young woman with shoulder length mousy brown hair stumbled out of nowhere, trying half-heartedly to regain her balance.

She sighed and started towards the house, rubbing her arms with her hands nervously.

The young woman stopped at the door and drew a long breath, closing her eyes as she did so. She grabbed the doorknob quickly and turned, slipping inside and closing the door firmly behind her.

"It's just the same as we left it," murmured Tonks, almost sadly, and started up the stairs.  
She had involuntarily volunteered to be part of Dumbledore's 'clean up crew' and go try to tidy up Grimmauld Place before the rest of the Order moved in. She wasn't even sure what had happened; one minute she dozing off into dreamland, the next she heard Albus Dumbledore's quiet, yet surprising booming, voice mention her name.

_"So it's decided then," Dumbledore had said gleefully, "Nymphadora and Remus will go early tomorrow and clean up Grimmauld Place. Excellent!"_

_  
Tonks jumped up in her seat, looking wildly around at the members of the Order._

_  
Oh, no, this was not happening. Remus and her in Grimmauld Place, alone, for almost a whole day? Great. Just Perfect. More rejection._

_  
_Maybe you'll be finally able to convince him, said a quiet voice in her head.

_Tonks sighed, and laid her head on her forehead. Yeah, right, she thought sadly. You know, maybe he doesn't love me…maybe I should just - _

"Er, Tonks?" came Molly Weasleys nervous voice.

Tonks started. "Yes, yes, what?"

She looked around at all the faces looking with confusion at her. She realized she had been not only having a mental fight with herself, but a physical one at that.

Tonks blushed. "Oh, I'm, er, fine," she assured them, though everyone still looked quite concerned. "Really."

Tonks groaned at this memory, and started up the stairs quickly.

"Remus?" she called quietly, when she reached the landing.

Nothing.

"Remus?" she said again, this time a bit louder.

Nothing.

"REMUS!"

OK, so he wasn't here yet, she thought miserably. He's probably trying to stay away for as long as possible. He probably hates me.

Her thoughts brought a lump to her throat. What if he really does hate me? Tonks thought, I don't know if I could live knowing that…

She stepped into her old room, and gasped. She knew now what Dumbledore had meant by Kreacher making 'a bit of a mess', though that was most definitely an understatement.

The room had been shredded to bits. The tapestries were ripped into two, the pillows and blankets torn apart, leaving bits of cotton and wool sprawled everywhere. The couch was utterly dilapidated and the once-elegant four-poster bed had deep scratch and, surprisingly, bite marks in it.

Tonks sighed and took out her wand. It took her, in all, about four hours to clean it all up. Kreacher had certainly put a lot of effort in tearing the room apart.

Tonks slumped against the far wall, totally exhausted. It was odd, Remus still wasn't here yet. She could understand being maybe an hour or so late, but four hours, Merlin, he must really…

Stop, she told herself. Stop thinking about him. Just stop. For everyone's sake…

_But I can't…_

_  
_Tonks closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That always seemed to calm her. She looked beside her and spotted an old muggle CD player. She managed a grin as she turned to face it. Arthur had gotten her quite hooked on it, she thought as she put on a pair of headphones.

_Remember that time, with Remus, when you tripped and _–

Tonks shook off the memory immediately. No more thinking about Remus.

She reached over and turned it on to the radio, and settled back on to the wall.

Right now, a radio host was talking about the weather, or something boring like that.

Get on with it, she thought.

Finally, a song came on, and Tonks listened intently, trying to figure out what it was before -

Oh, Merlin, not this song.

Tonks felt tears come to her eyes and she shut them tightly.

"_So kiss me,_" she sang quietly, and let her emotions, memories and thoughts take over, "_Beneath the milky twilight. Lead me out on the moonlit floor. Lift your open hand. Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance, silver moon's sparkling_…"

Tonks choked on the last line, unable to go on. It was too much. She sub consciously felt a tear fall down her cheek before she totally collapsed in sobs.

He doesn't love me…she thought, still crying hard. Why can't he just love me?

She was crying so hard, and was absorbed so much in her own thoughts she barely felt a pair of strong arms rap themselves around her, hugging her tight.

She inhaled the person's scent, and even through her tears she knew who this was.

He's come, she thought. Maybe he doesn't hate me.

She let out a wail, and dug farther into the man's arms, so that his scent surrounded her.

She took a deep breath and managed to choke out, "I love you Remus."

The man shifted somewhat uncomfortably, but didn't break away. There was a long pause before he answered, "I love you too, Nymphadora."

With that he broke off the hug, stood up, and left.

But Tonks could only register two things in her mind.

He loves me, she thought happily, her heart dancing.

And he called me Nymphadora.

----

Remus stood outside Grimmauld Place, his whole body shaking, not from the cold, but from what had just occurred.

He had told Tonks he loved her.

How daft can I be? He thought angrily. Now, she'll never give up on me. Never. I'll not have a moment's peace.

_That's what you want._

_  
_Why would I want that? He retorted back to himself.

_Because you love her._

_  
_That doesn't make any sense!

Remus rapped his arms around himself, which helped the shaking a bit. He felt himself grow calm, and his anger dampen.

He looked wearily up at the half-full moon beginning to appear, and sighed.

She had looked so terrible in there, he thought uneasily. Did I really cause all of that?

He put a hand to his forehead, and then drew it back through his grey-brown hair.

Remus turned quickly on his heel, and Apparated, just barely missing a hysterical Tonks, who came running out immediately after, tears still running down her pale face.

----

_A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews!_

_**deadgirlythings: Hehe me too. Glad you enjoyed it.**_

Windedspirit: Lol! Thanks, I really appreciate that! Hehe, I KNOW he is. But he's a sweet one (if thats possible...?). Hehe, Tonks will bring him down...kinda. There is definately alot of her telling him (and yelling it too!) that he's being an idiot. Thanks SO muchfor the review, keep it up! Hope you liked this chapter.

PiaMcKinnon: **_Ohh, really? Don't. Or do. Doesn't really matter because just remember she DOES eventually get together with him -sigh-.That is a bit ironic, isn't it? Hehe, thanks for the review!_**

_**FieryPhoenix21: Thanks! Glad to know its not tooo corny...:( Don't worry, it'll get happier:):)**_

BexyLou: _**Hehe, I know. But I gotta stick with canon...so he's gonna be an idiot. Oh well. Alls well that ends well. Kinda. Thanks for the review!  
**_

**_smash: Thanks, wow I'm glad you like it so much! I hope you liked this chapter! Ooh, and in the next one, you learn why she loves him calling her that so much! Hehe.  
_**


	12. Desperation

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter.

_A/N: OK, I haved fixed the end part, because you're right, it was WAY too un-Remusy. I hope you like this!_

Chapter Twelve: Desperation

Nymphadora Tonks had not seen Remus for four months.

Four whole months.

Not since that fateful day in Grimmauld Place when he told her he loved her. It was like he had disappeared into think air.

Or he was just very good at avoiding her.

In reality, however, it turned out he was on a mission for Dumbledore. A mission which required him to go underground and try to convince feral werewolves to help us fight the wizarding war. And he hadn't even told her. She had had to ask Kingsley, who very reluctantly informed her that that's where he was.

She had, if she did say so herself, a total temper tantrum. She had totally destroyed her flat (which she regretted dearly afterwards), screamed and kicked (she actually punched a whole in her wall) and refused to speak to anyone for twenty-four hours.

Tonks knew she had been childish, but she didn't care. How could the man she loved, and the man that loved her back, not tell her that he was risking his life going on a dangerous mission staying with feral werewolves? How could he just leave without saying goodbye? In the very least, he could have told her he was going on a mission. Or left her a note. That still would have made her blow her top, but at least he would have told her. Did he not realize that this was probably the most selfish, non-caring, awful thing he could do right now? He was taking her on a never-ending roller coaster of disappointment and emotions. And she hated roller coasters.

Now, finally he was back. Well, at least, she heard he was. From Molly. And she was usually a pretty reliable source.

So, that was why she was standing outside his flat, hair in a mess, fists clenched, teeth gritted, and feeling about ready to kill someone.

She pounded on his door. Nothing.

"REMUS…er…J. LUPIN OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL BLAST IT INTO OBLIVION!"

Still nothing. What is wrong with him? Thought Tonks furiously.

"OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW! LUPIN! NOW! OR ELSE!"

Merlin, why isn't he opening it? How arrogant can he be? I bet he's in there, grinning his evil little face off…

"REMUS LUPIN OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR RIGHT NOW YOU UNGRATEFUL, UNCARING, AWFUL, MEAN LITTLE-!"

"Er - Nymphadora?" came a cautious voice from behind her.

Tonks turned and found herself face to face with Remus Lupin.

Brilliant.

"Oh!" She gasped, but shook off her embarrassment immediately. "REMUS LUPIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME? HOW? DON'T YOU CARE? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! OR WERE YOU JUST LYING? OR TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER? HOW COULD YOU?"

Remus stood there, totally bewildered and taken aback by her outburst, his mouth open slightly and his grey-blue eyes wide.

"OH, DON'T ACT ALL INNOCENT! HOW COULD YOU GO ON A MISSION WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME? HOW DARE YOU! I LOVE YOU! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?"

Remus closed eyes for a moment, and lifted his head in comprehension. "Tonks, please, can we talk about this inside?"

"'TALK ABOUT THIS INSIDE?' WHAT, ARE YOU AFRAID OF YOUR NEIGHBOURS GETTING THE WRONG IDEA OR SOMETHING? WELL, SORRY TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, BUT BEING A BLOODY WEREWOLF PROBABLY HAS THAT EFFECT ALREADY! AND DON'T CALL ME TONKS, REMUS, DON'T!"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "You don't want me to call you Tonks?"

Tonks opened her mouth to yell once more, but closed it once his words actually hit her.

Oops. Tonks blushed for the first time and bowed her head slightly.

Remus took the opportunity to usher them inside. Once they were settled on the wilted brown sofas, Tonks spoke.

"So, tell me then, _why_ did you not tell me you were leaving? Did you not realize how inconsiderate that was?"

"I thought it would be easier," he said truthfully.

"For you or for me?" Tonks shot back.

Remus opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Of course he had told himself it would be best for her. But now, looking back, was that really true? Maybe, deep down, he just didn't want to deal with it, her or his emotions.

"For both of us," he settled on. "Tonks-" she winced as though he had hit her, and Remus looked at her concernedly, "-you're probably right. It wasn't the best idea not to tell you. But at the time my mind was all over the place. I'm sorry."

Tonks looked up at him, and ran a finger softly over a deep scar on his cheek. "I was so worried about you," she whispered. She kissed the corner of his mouth gently, the feel of his lips sending a shiver down her spine.

Remus stood still for a moment, his eyes closed, and his fingers gingerly feeling the spot where Tonks had just kissed him. "I'm sorry," he said again, his voice more hoarse than ever.

"And I missed you," she felt a tear slide down her cheek, but she ignored it. "I missed you so much."

She leant forward and pressed her face into his sweater, once again inhaling his wonderful scent. But Remus quickly drew away, avoiding her eyes.

"We can't," Remus looked up at her, his bluish eyes surprisingly watery. "I'm sorry, Tonks, but we can't. I'm still just as convinced of this as I was when this all started."

Tonks drew a breath in sharply, stung slightly by his words, turned, and headed towards the door. She looked plainly at the door handle for a moment, tears threatening to fall, before speaking.

"D'you want to know why I don't want you to call me Tonks? It's because I love you Remus. I know that may sound daft, and pathetic, and like some dumb soap opera line, but it's true. I love everything about you, Remus Lupin. I love the way you brush your hand through your hair when your nervous; I love how you are always unbearably polite, even when you shouldn't be; I love your eyes, and how they sparkle just so perfectly in the light; and I love the way you say my name. When anybody else says it, it just sounds so…stupid, and childish. But when you say it's so…lovely. Because you're lovely. I wish you would just give us a chance, Remus. I wish you would let yourself be happy."

Not letting him reply, she opened the door and slipped out, Apparating as soon as it had clicked shut behind her.

----

"Tonksie…" called a far away voice.

"Go away," replied Tonks sleepily, and yawned hugely.

Tonks felt someone shake her forcefully. "Miss Tonks, please wake up, I don't want to have to fire you."

Tonks jumped and looked around wildly. "Oh, Merlin, I'm terribly sorry sir, I promise I won't do that again, it's just I've been so awfully tired lately and…"

She stopped short when she saw Kingsley standing in front of her, grinning widely.

She narrowed her eyes and stuck out her tongue at him. "Now that was mean, Shacklebolt. You really gave me a scare there."

Kingsley looked at her inquiringly. "Are you saying I don't have the authority to fire you? Because I do, you know, and by the way, your work has been slipping a tad lately, and if you don't-"

Tonks punched him playfully on the arm. "Shut it. Some friend you'd be if fired me."

"Friend? So I'm your friend then, eh Tonksie?" Kingsley grinned mischievously, and winked at her.

Tonks forced a smile back. Kingsley was a great guy, but it seemed he'd…changed a lot since Tonks had gotten to know him better this last year. The Kingsley that she thought she knew, before the Order, was serious and fatherly, a man that Tonks really respected. But he was now always laughing and making jokes, which, of course, isn't exactly a bad thing, but it reminded her too much of…Sirius.

What a year this was turning out to be. It was unbelievable how much emotion Tonks had and was going through. Pain, happiness, friendship, agony…and love.

"Ugh," she yawned again and rubbed her eyes. "How long have I been sleeping?"

Kingsley grinned wickedly. "Almost five hours now."

Tonks' jaw dropped. "Five…five hours? Kingsley, why the hell didn't you wake me earlier?" Her eyes fell on the huge pile of papers towering on her desk and she groaned.

Kingsley looked at her thoughtfully. "You seemed like you really needed it. And you looked so…peaceful."

Tonks snorted. "Me, peaceful? That'll be the day." She closed her eyes and sighed. "You know, Kings-ugh!"

She backed away quickly, wiping her lips in disgust.

Kingsley had just kissed her.

"What in Merlin's name was that about? Kingsley, I thought we were mates, nothing more! And, _and_, you know…" she dropped her voice and looked at him furiously. "You know about the situation between me and Remus."

Kingsley rolled his eyes. "Oh, c'mon, Tonks, it's never gonna work between you two. Move on already."

Tonks recoiled in shock. What could she say to that? They stood there for a moment, silently staring, before Tonks spoke quietly. "That's none of your business, Shacklebolt. You can't decide what I should be feeling and when I should be feeling it." She paused for a second, breathing deeply. "What's happened to you, Kings?"

She closed her eyes and walked out the door, not looking back once.

----

Remus Lupin couldn't believe his eyes.

Kingsley Shacklebolt had just kissed Tonks.

_His _Tonks.

She's not yours, he reminded himself bitterly. And she never will be.

Still, he had no right kissing her. Did he?

"What in Merlin's name was that about? Tonks screeched, looking hysterical. "Kingsley, I thought we were mates, nothing more! And, _and_, you know…" she paused and Remus could see her eyes grow over bright in the dim light. "You know about the situation between me and Remus."

Remus felt his heart drop. It was easy to see how much pain she was going through. If he could just make her happy without giving in to her and creating a romantic relationship…

Remus sighed. It was impossible and he knew it.

"Oh, c'mon, Tonks, it's never gonna work between you two. Move on already."

Remus' jaw dropped, as did Tonks'.

"That's none of your business, Shacklebolt." She said, her voice going up and down, and it sounded like she was trying to prevent tears. "You can't decide what I should be feeling and when I should be feeling it." She paused for a second, breathing deeply.

"What's happened to you, Kings?"

She walked towards the door, looking furious and depressed, her lank mousy brown hair flashing dangerous orange colours.

Remus slipped into the shadows quickly. It would definitely not help matters if she saw him.

Remus felt anger boil through his body. How could Kingsley do that? Merlin, if he could get his hands on him…

Suddenly, Kingsley snorted. "Stupid cow left her wand here." He had Tonks' wand in his hand, and was examining it in disgust.

_What _had he just called her?

That was it. Remus stormed into the office and glared at himself, who stood frozen in his spot, overcome by shock.

"Why did you do that to her?" he demanded.

Kingsleys' surprise seemed to melt. He smiled and walked over to Remus. "Well, you see, when one person likes another, and they decide to be courageous and-"

"How dare you," Remus spat, cutting off Kingsley's monologue.

"Oh, get over it, Remus, you could have her if you wanted her. Go and see her instead of playing jealous lover over here with me. _Why_ anyone would want that obnoxious, daft little-!"

Remus grabbed Kingsley by the front of his robes, and shook him so hard (even surprising himself) that Kingsley abruptly stopped it mid-sentence.

"How dare you say that?" he whispered, still astounded by his sudden rash moment.

"It's not like your any better," retorted Kingsley, his teeth gritted.

Remus was dumbfounded, "What?" he said quietly, his voice a little bit less threatening.

"You're breaking her," he said. "She loves you, and (from what I've heard) you love her too, but you just push her away, and that is the worst possible thing that you could ever do. I might not be Mr. Saint here, but at least - _at least_ – I've never caused anyone that much pain." And with that, Kingsley turned sharply on his heel, and sped off into the eerie darkness of the hallway.

Remus stood there, totally bewildered. He looked down at the brown envelope he clutched in his right hand and sighed. He placed it gently down on Kingsley's desk, drew a slip of parchment from his pocket, and wrote a small note in a flourish:

_'New Assignment from Dumbledore. He wants it returned to him with reply (yes or no) by tomorrow evening at the latest._

_-R.L._

_P.S. You're right.'_

_----_

_A/N: OK, so what do you think of the 'fixed' version? I know it's still a little violent, but I think it's OK. Thanks for the reviews!_


	13. Opposites Attract

Disclaimer: Same old, same old.

_A/N: Hehe, I KNOW (hopefully, anyways)you're going to like this chapter! _

Chapter Thirteen: Opposites Attract

_She was screaming, screaming. The wolf approached her, blood already dripping from its sharp claws and teeth. The woman's eyes grew wide, and she flung from the ground, trying desperately to get away. The wolf howled, and pounced, pinning her to the muddy forest floor. She kicked the wolf, hard, and the wolf let out a low snarl._

_  
The woman looked bravely into the creature's eyes, tears drowning her face._

_  
"Remus…please, I love you."_

_  
The wolf paid no attention to her words, he was a monster right now, and he would listen to no one. He howled once more, before quickly lifting his bloodstained paw and-_

"NO!"

Remus jumped from his bed, eyes wild, trying desperately to regain his breath.

"No…" he murmured. "No…no…no…it was…it was just a dream."

He closed his eyes and took a long, shuddering breath.

It was just a dream.

He nodded slowly, and opened his eyes.

Remus let out a yell. Right in front of him was the grey, wolfish creature from his dream. He was face-to-face with himself.

He stood there, frozen, before he realized that the werewolf was not solid. It was see through, and a ghastly silvery colour.

It was a patronous.

"What…?" Remus murmured to himself, as the wolf continued to stare at him, waiting for him to accept the message. "Whose patronous is this? Not even mine is a wolf…who could…"

Remus stopped cold.

Oh, Merlin, he thought with a shiver. This is Tonks' patronous.

Suddenly, something Harry said to him at Christmastime came back to him.

'"Tonks Patronous has changed,"' he had said. And he had described it being looking 'big and having four legs'.

How had he not put that together then? How stupid could he be?

But a much more disturbing question was prodding his mind at the moment.

Have I really caused her this much pain?

He looked once more at the wolf, and accepted the message. The wolf leant forward, and Remus heard Tonks' voice whisper harshly in his ear.

"Remus, Death Eaters have evaded Hogwarts. We're managing to fend them off, with the help of Neville, Ron and Ginny. Also, Harry's gone. Same with Dumbledore. Hopefully Harry's with him. Please come quickly. And…" Tonks took a slow intake of breath, as though preparing to say something big, but then apparently thought better of it, as the message ended abruptly, and wolf went charging off into the distance.

Remus was had already found his wand and cloak. As soon as the message ended, he Disapparted to Hogsmede.

He steadied himself quickly, and broke out into a sprint towards the castle. When he neared it he saw that the large front doors had already been thrown open. He rushed in, closely followed by Moody.

"Did you happen to get a glance of Tonks' new patronous?" growled Moody from behind him.

Remus sighed. "This is hardly the time, Mad eye."

Moody's magical eyes swiveled toward him. "It's never the time, is it?" He gave a snort of disgust and lowered his voice, "And they call me mad."

Remus opened his mouth, and then thought better of it.

"Blimey, what have they done…?" muttered Moody, as they climbed the marble staircases, looking out for any sign of life.

The walls were a mess, blackened and dented from spells, very powerful ones at that. The floor had debris scattered all over it; and what looked like blood.

Remus shuddered. What if one of the members of the Order had been hurt? Or killed?

His mind immediately flew to Tonks; was she OK?

_Shut up_, he told himself._ Right now you have concentrate on actually _finding _the battle._

_  
_"Right up ahead," said Moody from behind him. "Look."

Remus followed the path of Moody's extended finger and gasped. Though he couldn't actually see the battle, he could see spells being ricocheted off the walls. Dangerous ones, at that.

They ran to scene, wands at the ready. Moody began battling a large blond Death Eater with Ginny Weasley, who was doing surprisingly well.

Remus began to shoot spells at a team of two large, ugly Death Eaters, which he guessed were siblings. Though his mind was on the battle, his heart kept wandering around, looking for Tonks.

Suddenly, out the corner of his eye, he spotted her, shooting spells at various Death Eaters, and screaming orders at no one in particular. Her hair was flashing from vibrant red to her mousy brown, which Remus found vaguely amusing.

"Have a taste of this, werewolf! CRUCIO!" screamed one of his opponents. Remus quickly dodged the spell, but put all his thoughts and energy back into the battle. Or tried to, at least.

----

Tonks was sitting on one of the beds in the hospital wing, feeling totally paralyzed.

_How could this happen? How could Death Eaters have gotten into Hogwarts? How could Dumbledore have allowed it? Where _is _he anyways?_

_  
_"Er – Tonks?" came Hermione's quiet voice.

"What –oh – yeah?" spluttered Tonks.

"Your…hair. It's –er – _flashing_."

"What?" muttered Tonks, and took out the small circular compact mirror that she carried with her everywhere. She glanced in it, and saw her hair was, in fact, 'flashing'. Her hair was flashing from electric blue, to fiery red, and back to her mousy brown.

"It sometimes does that when I'm really…emotional." She explained, and managed a sheepish grin.

Hermione smiled back.

"Well it's better than what it usually is, nowadays," came Ron's voice.

Tonks tried as best she could from shooting a guilty look Remus' way. "Yeah, well…yeah."

I'm not up for explaining that one, she thought angrily.

She shot an 'if-looks-could-kill-than-you'd-be-dead' look at Remus, unable to contain herself. He either didn't notice or was ignoring her, as he continued to stare at his shoes.

Hermione seemed to notice however, as she had a smug look on her face, and a look in her eye if she had just confirmed something.

_Why don't I just tell everyone? Shout it from the rooftops, perhaps! I'm sure Remus would be mighty glad about that…_

_  
_Suddenly, Ginny cam rushing in, Harry at her heels.

They dived into a discussion about the nights events, and were listening in grief to Fawkes' lament, when Molly, Arthur and Fleur came rushing in.

"Molly – Arthur –" said McGonagall, jumping up and hurrying to greet them. "I am so sorry –"

"Bill," Molly whispered, and darted past McGonagall as she caught sight of Bill's mangled face. "Oh, _Bill_!"

Tonks felt herself beginning to zone out at this point. It was all too much.

Bill, Snape; the greasy git, and Dumbledore. Tonks suddenly wished she had someone here right now, hugging her, comforting her, telling her it was OK even though she knew it wasn't.

But the person she wanted there, doing that, wouldn't. Flat out refused; and for no good reason either.

He's never going to come round, is he? Thought Tonks sadly. I just don't if I can let him go…

Suddenly Fleur's angry words broke thorough her thoughts;

"You theenk, because of these bites, he will not love me?"

_What?_ Thought Tonks, and looked wonderingly around until her eyes fell on Bill.

"No, that's not what I –" spluttered Molly, looking very flustered.

"Because 'e will!" said Fleur, drawing herself up to her full height and throwing back her long mane of silver hair. "It will take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!"

_Werewolf._ Tonks looked over furiously at Remus, her eyes wild. He caught her stare for a moment, before looking away, obviously feeling desperately uncomfortable.

"Well, yes, I'm sure," said Molly, "but I thought perhaps – given how – how he –"

Tonks made a move to get closer to Remus, but, catching it, Remus just moved more in the opposite direction.

_He's not getting away that easily! _She fumed, and began to mouth words at him, which she was sure was the meaning of the bemused look Ron sent her.

"You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or per'aps, you 'oped?" said Fleur, her nostrils flaring. "What do I care how 'e looks? I am good-looking enough for the both of us, I theenk! All these scars show is zat my husband is brave! And I shall do zat!" she added fiercely, pushing Molly aside and snatching the ointment from her.

Tonks wanted to scream. Fleur, for once in life, was totally right! Why couldn't Remus just see that nothing mattered, _nothing_, but the fact they loved each other!

She tried once again to make eye contact with him but he staring intently at his shoes. Tonks curled her hands in fists and closed her eyes trying to keep calm.

No use.

She opened her eyes to find him staring at her. She mouthed words to him again, and starting shaking her fist angrily. He was desperately shaking his head, and mouthing something that looked like 'Not here'.

Oh, that's it, she thought furiously.

She walked right over to him, and made him look her in the eye.

"You see!" she said, in a strained voice. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

"It's different," Remus answered, his lips barely moving, "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely – "

"But I don't care either, I don't care!" Tonks almost shouted, and grabbed the front of Remus' robes and started shaking them. "I've told you a million times…"

Tonks opened her mouth to say more, but then shut it as she became vaguely aware that they were still in the hospital wing, surrounded by about a dozen bewildered people.

"And I've told _you _a million times," said Remus, refusing to meet Tonks' watery gaze, "that I am too old for you, too poor…too dangerous…"

Tonks closed her eyes, unable to take any more. Why couldn't he just let them be together? Why couldn't he just let himself be happy? Why did he have to fight this…?

_He's never going to give in_, a small voice in her head said loudly.

"I am not being ridiculous," Tonks heard Remus' voice say steadily, "Tonks deserves someone young and whole."

No, I don't! Tonks screamed internally. Young and whole men are idiots, prats, dirt bags, or taken! Just…

"But she wants you," said Arthur, with a small smile. "And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so." He gestured sadly at his son, lying between them.

Tonks felt a twinge of guilt play at her heart. She had been so selfish bringing this up now, with Dumbledore dead, Bill bitten…and it's not like Remus is going to give in anytime soon.

"This is…not the moment to discuss it," said Remus, glancing around distractedly and looking unbearably uncomfortable. "Dumbledore is dead…"

"Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world," said McGonagall curtly.

Tonks looked determinedly at the ground, eyes closed firmly, hugging herself as tight as she could. She could feel Remus' eyes on her, but she ignored them. Probably wanted to tell her off for what a scene she'd made in front of everyone. And she just couldn't take that right then.

At the back of her mind, it registered that Hagrid had came in, close to tears, informing everyone that he had moved Dumbledore's body. It also registered to her that Harry and McGonagall had left for her office, and that the Weasleys, Fleur, and Hermione were now talking solemnly about Bills' condition. It surprised her that Remus wasn't taking part in this. After all, he was the resident werewolf.

Out of curiosity, Tonks opened one eye, and saw Remus, looking positively miserable, staring out the window into the blank darkness.

Tonks, for no particular reason, felt tears begin to pound at the back of her eyes. Not wanting to make yet another scene, she quickly stood up and left the hospital wing.

She stood silently in the hallway for a moment, before quickly dodging into an unused classroom and bursting into tears.

She collapsed onto the floor, brown hair clinging to her wet face, and put her head in her hands. She took two long, rattling breaths, and sighed, wiping her face.

I am not going to cry anymore, she told herself firmly. You need to be strong…for everyone.

"Nymphadora," came a hoarse voice.

Tonks didn't even lift her head. She knew that voice.

"I'm guessing you haven't come to thank me for that little performance back there," she said quietly.

Silence. Tonks lifted her head and saw his wonderful grey-blue eyes staring lovingly, forgivingly, into hers.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Remus," she whispered, her voice breaking.

"Nymphadora, please…"

"No, Remus, I can't do this anymore. I just can't. It hurts too much. Look - " she pulled away a strand of her mousy brown her, and laughed sadly, " – I've lost all my metamorphmaging powers, Remus." She dropped the strand of hair, and hung her head. "I love you so much."

"Tonks, no…"

Tonks stood up, and briskly walked over to him. "Can't you just be happy for once, Remus Lupin? Let me in. Let us be together. I love you, and you love me! Stop being such an idiot!"

"Nymphadora, you don't understand…"

She slapped him, hard, right across his face, before she could stop herself.

"REMUS LUPIN I LOVE YOU! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER, TO MARRY YOU, TO LIVE A GREAT LIFE WITH YOU, AND TO DIE WITH YOU! I'VE NEVER, _EVER_, FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE, AND I'M NOT STUPID, I KNOW WHAT IT IS! NOW STOP MAKING DAFT EXCUSES! I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT!"

Remus had recoiled slightly, rubbing his cheek tenderly, but had not made any attempts to stop her. He waited a moment before speaking, in barely a whisper, "Will you let me talk now?"

Tonks opened and closed her mouth like a goldfish, unable to get any words out. Finally she managed, in a slightly embarrassed manner; "Er - OK then."

Remus slowly made his way forward, and gently put his soft hands on her face, caressing it lovingly. "Nymphadora Tonks," he started, his voice quiet, "I love you. I've loved you from the second I saw you standing in the doorway on the day of your first Order meeting. I just hadn't realized it then. When you…when you first told me you loved me, I just…freaked, I suppose. I was afraid, afraid of hurting you, afraid of the possibility that you might eventually reject me…afraid of being with you. So I did the only thing I knew. I ran. I know I hurt you and led you on but…it was…just so hard. I love you so much, Nymphadora, and I wanted nothing more than what you were offering. But, like I said, I was afraid. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Tonks' eyes widened, and she suddenly couldn't breath. "So…so…what are you saying?"

Remus put one hand through her mousy brown hair and smiled slightly, "I'm saying I love you, Nymphadora Tonks, and I want to be with you. Forever."

With that he leaned forward and kissed her, deeply and passionately. Tonks' lank, brown hair immediately turned a vivid pink, and tears, this time of joy and surprise, rushed down her cheeks.

----

_A/N: Hehe…but don't worry, there's more! This is the end of 'Part One'. Now, if you like happy endings and like you want to stop reading here, that's cool, but if you want to read more…hehe, I'll have another chapter posted soon. And thanks SO much for the reviews, they totally brighten my day, lol._

**_LaC: Thanks! I know,I love when guys do that...Hope you liked this chapter!_**

Windedspirit: Thanks! Hehe. Er...um...about the assignment that Kingsley got...I wasn't, er, exactly planning on saying what it was, I just kind of needed a reason for Remus to be going to the Auror Headquarters. Lol, I could try and do something with that though. Hehe, I hope you liked this chapter...:)

Priscila: Thanks! Well, er, about Kingsley...here's the story of whyI made him like this, lol: K, first of all, I think that the Order needed someone that wasn't like, a total angel-type person. Like, not evil like Snape, and not shifty likeMungdungus, but someone who, you know, was GOOD overall,but had major faults. Also, I think he was a bit nervous about joining the Order, and is hiding his fear by changing his personalty. Also, he's grieving.Over Emmeline, whom he was in love with, lol.That's just the story I kinda made up about him. Sorry, though, I find it hard to try and write about minor characters that aren't mentioned much and don't have a real story with them. But thanks SO much for the review, and I hope you liked this chapter!

Lil' Fairy: **_Thank-you (wow,I always seem to start these out with that..)!I'm gl_****_ad you liked it!_**

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	14. The Funeral

Disclaimer: I don't own anything of everything.

_A/N: Sorry I've taken so long to update. Hope you enjoy! _

Chapter Fourteen: The Funeral

Tonks stood in front of a large, jewel-encrusted mirror, studying her reflection carefully.  
Her hair was jet-black, and tied back tightly into an elegant French braid. She was wearing a knee-length black silk sleeveless dress, which - as she had lost quite a lot of weight in the past year - fit her perfectly. She wore a long pink pearl necklace, which matched perfectly with her earrings. The only thing in her image that reflected her true self was her bright violet lips, which she was rubbing together slowly.

Tonks raised an eyebrow at her sober reflection, scrunched up her face, and in the next second her once light brown eyes had turned a sorrowful black.

"Perfect," she murmured, and walked into her kitchen.

She grabbed an apple, and shoved it into her leather handbag. She went over to the kitchen window and pointed her wand at the latch.

"_Mericano_," she whispered.

The latch immediately bolted itself with a quiet 'click'.

Tonks walked out of her flat, and, too tired to bother to check if any Muggles were watching, Apparted immediately.

She stumbled into Hogsmede, tripping over her feet and nearly falling flat on her face. She sighed, composed herself, and started off towards the castle, which was currently residing in a gloomy mist.

As she neared the front gates, Molly and Arthur joined her.

"Hello, dear," said Molly warmly, as Arthur led the way to where the funeral was being held. "How are you?"

Tonks gave a small smile, "I'm doing fantastic, Molly. How are you?"

Molly frowned at the lack of information Tonks was giving her, but answered as sweetly as ever all the same. "Oh, same as always. Just, today…" Molly broke off, and looked drearily over into the distance. "It's hard to believe he's actually gone."

Tonks nodded sadly. "I know…he's always…always been there."

Molly gave her a small smile.

"How is the Order going to survive without him?" inquired Tonks.

"We'll manage," this time it was Arthur who answered. "We always do. But it definitely won't be the same without Dumbledore."

Molly nodded in sad agreement, and Tonks looked dreamily up at the sky wondering what she had gotten herself into.

"Here we are," said Arthur quietly, as they reached a spot close to the lake.

There were hundreds of chairs there, a few already taken by extraordinary looking people Tonks had never seen before.

Dumbledore sure had a lot of wacky friends, she thought, as she observed a purple-haired man carrying a parrot.

"Why so glum looking, Nymphadora?" came a calm voice from behind her.

Tonks turned excitedly, fighting to contain a squeal.

Remus stood before her, smiling in that gentle way of his.

Tonks smiled at him, fighting to contain her joy. She had not seen him since the night when Dumbledore died, and it had been driving her crazy.

"It _is_ a funeral," she said quietly.

Remus walked up to her and traced the edge of her face gently with his finger.

"Dumbledore would have been glad to see you back to your normal eccentric hair colours," he said sincerely, with a loving look.

Tonks felt tears threatening to fall, but she quickly pushed them away. She scrunched up her face in concentration, and a second later her hair had turned a vivid bubblegum pink.

"That's better," said Remus seriously. "Pink suits you."

Tonks smiled, and gave him a light kiss on the cheek, not caring that they were surrounded by tons of strange people.

She was so filled with emotions right now. Love, sadness, happiness…disbelief. "I love you Remus," she said, and embraced him tightly.

He accepted the hug, but broke away much too soon.

"Shall we go find a seat?" he asked quietly, vividly aware of the fact that Molly and Arthur were watching them smugly.

"OK," she said, and grasped hold of his hand.

Remus blushed slightly. "Er – are you sure – "

Tonks looked at him sharply, "I have never, ever, _ever, _been so sure of anything in my life."

She sighed and settled into the seat that Remus had led her to.

Remus was looking around nervously at the motley crew of people giving him suspicious looks. He was positively fidgeting, which was strangely unlike him.

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly, snuggling her face comfortably into his warm sweater.

"What?" he said, drawing his eyes away from the disapproving people and putting his unrequited attention on Tonks.

"Are _you_ sure about this?"

Remus blinked. "Well – what – yes, of course I am. I love you Nymphadora."

"Then stop caring so much about what other people think. It's only about me and you," replied Tonks, without even looking up.

Remus smiled, and kissed the top of her head.

"Here come the children," called a squeaky voice.

Both Remus and Tonks turned.

There, just as the sun began to immerge from behind the mist, were about three quarters of Hogwarts' students (as the rest had already been taken home), accompanied by the whole staff, coming down from the castle.

Tonks eyes searched the crowd until they fell on Harry. He walking slowly along, seemingly absorbed in his thoughts. He looked a bit troubled, but anyways seemed to be dealing with Dumbledore's death well. She quickly glanced over at the redhead behind him, as Harry looked her and Remus' way.

After a second she noticed that the redhead behind Harry was Ginny, and she was most definitely looking troubled. She was studying Harry silently, an expression of dread and sadness on her pale face.

Tonks immediately felt a jolt of empathy for the girl. She looked over at Remus, and gave his hand a squeeze. He looked at her, a slightly puzzled expression on his face, before smiling slightly and returning the squeeze.

_I am too damn lucky to have him._

Tonks glanced back at the Hogwarts students, who were now settling into their seats. This time her eyes fell on Hermione Granger, who, like Ginny, most certainly looked troubled over something unrelated to Dumbledore's death. Tonks looked suspiciously over at the lanky red haired boy sitting next to her, but then shook her head firmly.

Hermione wasn't the girl to get worked up over a bloke, no matter what circumstance.

She watched Hermione for a few moments, before noticing a distant pattern. Hermione, every few moments, gave a piteous glance over to one of the Slytherins, though it was so crowded, and no one seemed to be responding to it, that Tonks couldn't tell whom.

Tonks furrowed her brow in confusion. Why would Hermione pity a _Slytherin_?

"Nymphadora…"

Tonks snapped back into reality. Remus was talking to her, with a very miserable expression on his worn face.

"What?" she whispered, and looked around furtively until her eyes landed on Hagrid, whom was walking slowly and sorrowfully down the isle, a large bundle in his hands.

Tonks eyes widened at the purple mass Hagrid was carrying.

"Is – Remus – is that…? Remus…?" Tonks broke off, and looked uncertainly at Remus, who was staring unblinkingly at the bundle, his face white.

"It's Dumbledore," he murmured, not even drawing his eyes away for a second.

Tonks shut her eyes exhaustedly, and buried her face in her hands.

She only looked up when she felt a strong pair of arms embrace her, if not only for her sake, but for his as well.

----

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews, people! Also, I might be taking a longer time to update now because am I going to write a whole lot of chapters, and then when I have enough, I'm going to post one every day, like I did when I started out. But, don't worry, I'll try to update at LEAST once every week anyways._

**_Windedspirit: Lol! Well, thanks, hehe. OK, thanks, and I hope you're stories going well. Well, I am going to be doing a LOT more chapters. I have a few ideas and I just don't think I could stop writing this story. Thanks for the review!_**

**_smash: Thank-you! Hehe, I know, I'm a sucker for sappy stuff like like :). I don't really know how many chapters I'm going to write. I really like this story, and I have some interesting ideas, so probably a lot. Hehe. _**

**_numbgirl:_** **_Thanks, glad you liked it :)._**

_**BexyLou:**_**_Hehe, thanks. I'm glad you like the re-edited chapter 12! Thank-you for the review!_**

**_deadgirlythings:_** **_Lol, yeah.It was much too depressing without the bright hightlighter colours. Thanks!_**

_**Priscila: Hehe, yeah, I know, I've taken FOREVER! Thanks for the review!**_

_**PiaMcKinnon:**_ **_Thank-you! Hehe, glad you think that! Hope you liked this chapter, and thanks for the review!_**

_**muffet: Thanks! Yeah, I know it is SO cheesy. But please bear with me lol, cause I am a total sucker for that kind of stuff, but, I'm try to avoid it...mostly, lol. Lol, she just hadto hit him...hehe, Thanks for the review!**_

_**LaC: Thanks, hehe, I couldn't stand her with the mousy brown anymore...and...er...well, it fits with canon. Thanks for the review!**_

_**tigerflesh:**_ **_Thank you, that means a lot! Thanks for the review!_**

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	15. The Importance of Being Forward

Chapter Fifteen: The Importance of Being Forward

_A/N: Sorry I've taken over a week to update! I know this isn't very long, but the next chapter is seriously huge.Thanks for the reviews!_

"Well –er – goodnight, then," said Remus awkwardly, as they reached the door to her flat.

It was the night after Dumbledore's funeral and, after seeing off Harry to his awful relatives once more, Remus had offered to walk her home. She had, of course, accepted right away, and they had walked home in almost unbearable silence, unsure what next to do.

He turned; ready to leave, when Tonks put a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Remus, stay. We've been acting like bloody strangers almost all day. We've barely said one word to each other." She quickly unlocked her door, and stood aside, gesturing for him to enter. "Werewolves first," she said dryly.

Remus rolled his eyes, but entered at once.

He took one look around at her mess of flat, and glanced back at Tonks, eyebrow raised.  
"Nice place you've got here," he chuckled.

"Shut it," she said through gritted teeth. "I don't have much time to do house work. I have a fairly demanding schedule, you know."

"Like?"

"Like being an Auror," she listed. "Being a member of the Order…"

"I'm a member of the Order."

"So?"

"So it doesn't take up _that _much time."

"Well, how do you know I don't have a lively social life?"

"Because you told me," he replied, a small smile playing at his lips.

"Damn, I forgot it's you." Tonks rolled her eyes, and flopped down on the couch, throwing off her heels without another thought.

"Tea?" inquired Remus, already heading toward the kitchen.

Tonks shot a dirty look his way. "Hey, this is _my _house, you know."

"Sugar with that?"

Tonks stuck her tongue out at him, receiving a devious smile in the process.

Remus came back a few moments later, carrying two steamy hot cups of tea.

Tonks inspected her tea carefully, before taking a quick sip. To her amazement, it was exactly as she liked it.

"How did you know?" she asked, her eyes wide.

Remus smiled smugly. "I know a lot of things."

He sat silently down on the couch, cup in hand, eyes slightly glazed over, as if he was deep in thought.

Tonks sighed happily, and rested her head on his shoulder, stroking his arm gently.

Remus' eyes swept over her, and they were packed with such emotion, as Tonks had never seen before. Then, without warning, he leaned forward and kissed her.

Tonks let out a low moan, and rapped her hands slowly around the back his head, caressing his neck lovingly. There kissed increased in urgency almost immediately, and again a feeling of electricity filled Tonks' body. Every time Remus kissed her, it felt like the first time.

Remus slowly coaxed her body into a laying position on the sofa. She sighed, fell back, almost overwhelmed. Suddenly, Remus broke away. Immediately dread filled her body. Hopefully history wasn't repeating itself.

"I should be going," Remus said quietly.

Tonks looked at him furiously, "Remus, what is wrong with you? I thought we got over all this."

Remus looked over, almost longingly, at the door. "No, Nymphadora, it's not that. I just better be going. See you."

Tonks opened her mouth to say more, but he was already out the door. She started towards it, angry and confused, but promptly tripped on the doormat.

"Ouch." She straightened up quickly, swung open the door and peered out, but he was already gone.

"Damn it!" she shouted, turned around, and slammed the door so hard it almost fell off the hinges.

She went over to the couch and collapsed upon it, banging her head softly on the armrest.

_Why_ did you have to fall in love with him? She asked herself angrily. He's such an idiot sometimes; he doesn't even realize how wonderful he is…

Tonks jumped off the couch and walked over to the kitchen, her hair growing redder as she went.

She slammed open the freezer and grabbed a large bucket of strawberry ice cream, her favourite. She went to the counter, got out her huge jar of pecans and threw them mercilessly on her ice cream. Tonks grabbed a spoon, and trudged back over to the couch, flicking on the TV as she did so.

She sunk back into the couch, and surfed the channels until she found an unbelievably cheesy chic flick. Perfect.

Tonks watched, bored to tears, for about an hour, before a loud knock at the door flung her back into reality.

"_Julianne…it's true; I love you!" _Cried the, quite frankly, ugly man-boy in the movie, who had mistakenly fallen in love with a woman twice his age.

_"You're too young for me, Michael!" _Screamed the woman, almost collapsing in tears.

"Oh, shut up," said Tonks bitterly, and clicked the 'off ' button furiously before slumping over and getting the door.

To her surprise, it was Charlie. They never talked, barely even acknowledged each other's existence, actually.

She looked at him questionably, and, when she received no reply but a blank stare, opened the door just so he could slip in.

"So – er – Charlie, what are you doing – "

"Tonks, I need some advice," he said, cutting her off.

Tonks raised an eyebrow. She looked at him carefully, and carefully, and saw that his normally peachy complexion was abnormally pale, easily challenging Remus'. Charlie was pacing quickly, and fidgeting with his hands so much Tonks' began to grow a little nervous.

"About?" she said quietly, still observing him.

"Love," he said quickly, not even stopping to think

Tonks furrowed her brow. Charlie, world–class hottie and Quidditch maniac, need help with love?

"Er – love? No offense, Charlie, but I don't think I'm the person you should be talking to…" she trailed off, and bit her lip uncertainly.

"No, I need you. And don't say you're not an expert –" Tonks stifled a laugh when she heard him use the term 'expert' " – because we all saw how you never gave up on Remus, ever when there was almost no hope. And it worked, right? So you must be doing _something_ right."

_Well, thanks, _she thought as she heard that. _Still…he's right. At least I'm doing something right._

Or was, she thought bitterly.

"Still, Charlie, I really…just…you're situation is probably a lot different than mine…"

"Tonks…" Charlie walked up to her, and put his hands firmly on her shoulder, as if he was about to shake her, "I need _your_ help. Please…will you just hear me out?"

Tonks was shocked. He was really serious about this. She looked him right in the eye, and said, in the most understanding voice she could pull off, "Yeah, of course I will."

Charlie closed his eyes, and abruptly stopped his pacing. He turned slowly to her and opened his eyes. They had a pleading, helpless look to them, and, for once in her life, Tonks could she desperation and fright written in his face. Charlie took a careful step towards her, and then drew back, fidgeting horribly with his hands again. He took a deep, rattling breath and then said what he had obviously been building towards the whole evening,

"I'm in love with Fleur."

----

_A/N: Hehe, trouble in paradise? Thanks for the reviews!_

_**slightly so:**_ **_Thanks! And there's still more to come, lol. Thanks for the review!_**

**_Windedspirit: Thanks, and I think a lot of people call it that, lol. I wonder why. Is 'chapter' just to long, lol? Thanks for the review!_**

_**bella1305pickles: Lol, thanks for the review!**_

_**deadgirlythings: Thanks, yeah I like doing scenes from other people's POV. Lol, but there's no more scenes to do! Thanks for the review!**_

_**BexyLou:**_ **_Yeah, well, I got some kind of interesting ideas, lol. Thanks for the review!_**

_**PiaMcKinnon: Yeah...lol, I love the cute romance stuff -sigh-. Thanks for the review!**_

_**bookworm federation unlimited : Yeah, lol it will probably take a very long time to get it all posted on the other site. This is so much quicker! Hehe, yeah the thing with Hermione looking at the Slytherin WILL come up again in a few chapters. It was orginally an idea for a different story, but I'm really into thsi story right now so I decided to add it in. It might seems a little cheesy though:( . Thanks for the review!**_

_**smash: I know, I wish Dumbledore was still alive too...why do all the best characters have to die? I hope Lupin isn't next to go! Ah! And it seems to only be the guys...Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore...Thanks for the review!**_

_**FieryPhoenix21: Thanks, lol! I'm glad you like my story. Thanks for the review!**_

**_LaC:_** **_Hehe, Hermione WAS looking over at a Slytherin for a good reason. Which will be found out in a few chapters. Thanks for the review!_**


	16. Talking to Troubled Teens

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Harry Potter. And double that, because I forgot it last chapter.

_A/N: Well, I didn't take as long to update as last chapter. Also, this is my longest chapter yet._

Chapter Sixteen: Talking to Troubled Teens

"_Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!"_ chimed a big, bubblegum pink alarm clock robotically.

"_It's a brand new day, wake up, wake up, wake up!"_ it continued, completely ignoring the fact that a grumpy and annoyed Tonks was now pointing her wand menacingly at it.

"_Wake up, wake up, wake – "_

_  
_BANG.

"Sorry, Hermione," she muttered, quickly thinking about a possible excuse to tell Hermione if she asked how her birthday present working out.

Tonks collected all the broken bits of pink plastic and shoved them mercilessly into the garbage bin beside her bed.

She straightened up and yawned, turning her hair a miraculous blue as she did so. Tonks shuffled towards the kitchen, and forcefully resisted the urge to just drop down on the couch as she did so.

Tonks took out a large box of frosted cereal and piled it out sleepily into an, almost even larger, green bowl. She took out a surprisingly bright neon orange spoon, sat down on the low countertop, and began to eat.

She finished it in a shockingly fast amount of time, and threw it mercilessly into the sink.

"Ugh," Tonks moaned, as she let out another large yawn. "What time is it…?"

She looked wearily over at the digital clock above her oven and yelped. It was nearly eleven o'clock, and Bill and Fleur's wedding started at two-thirty.

She jumped up, sprinted to her bedroom, and changed into her uncomfortable and overly flowery dress, which she had gotten just for the wedding. She tugged on her high heels, grabbed her purse, and ran out of her flat, just barely remembering to lock up before she left.

When she got to the Burrow, she found that everyone but her had arrived. Tonks greeted Molly, Arthur and Fleur's parents hastily, before running up the stairs to Ginny's room, where all girls were getting ready.

As she entered the room she heard a loud screech, and felt a pair of arms tightly wrap themselves around her waist.

"Wotcher, Gin," she said happily. "It's great to see you and all, but could you just resist from killing me 'til after the wedding?"

"Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh," chanted Ginny nervously, as she reluctantly let Tonks go. "I am _so_ happy that you're here." She began to drag Tonks towards her bed, where a small blonde girl lay sprawled across, whom Tonks guessed was Gabrielle, Fleur's younger sister.

"You have to help me," she said direly, sighing heavily to prove her point. "I have no idea what to get Hermione to wear!" Ginny gestured impatiently to the pile of clothes stacked on the bed by Gabrielle's feet.

"Look," said a quiet voice from the corner, and as Tonks looked over she saw it was Hermione, who looked almost as troubled as she had the day of Dumbledore's funeral. "It _really_ doesn't matter. I don't care what I wear. It's not like the world depends on it."

"Maybe not," put in Tonks slyly, with a wicked smile. "But your relationship with Ron does."

Hermione turned a bright scarlet, while Ginny burst into a bout of giggles.

"There is _not_," Hermione snapped defensively, "Anything going on between Ron and me. We're just friends, why can't anyone believe that?"

"Oh, Hermione," Tonks said reassuringly. "Of course we believe you." But as Hermione turned her back to say something to Gabrielle, Tonks and Ginny exchanged glances, and burst into fresh fits of giggles.

"Really," said Hermione indignantly, and held up a plain blouse and knee-length skirt from the pile to her body. "Now, what do you think of this?"

"I think you're about eighty," said Ginny, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, Hermione, wear something more you're age…like, this." Ginny held up a tiny pink and black striped tube top and an equally tiny dark brown skirt.

Hermione's jaw dropped, "No _way_ am I wearing that! I'll look like some kind of…some kind of…" She bit her lip and broke off.

Ginny rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak again, but Gabrielle got there first.

"Live a little," she sniffed. "You seem very boring for someone so young."

"You keep out of this," said Ginny, surprisingly angrily. "You don't even know her."

Gabrielle sniffed pompously, but remained silent.

Tonks raised an eyebrow curiously at Ginny's sudden outburst but said nothing, and decided to talk to her later about it.

"Well…what about this?" asked Hermione nervously, holding up a silky red slip dress that had definitely not come from the pile Ginny had lain out.

Ginny's face softened, "Oh, Hermione, it's beautiful." She walked up to it and gingerly felt the fabric. "Wait, where does it go down to? Above your knees?" Ginny asked suspiciously.

"Yes," sighed Hermione, and gestured to where it came down to on her, which was shockingly high for Hermione.

"Where'd you get it?" Tonks asked, who had now joined Ginny in feeling the wonderful fabric.

"Some Muggle shop," she answered offhandedly. "I can't remember what is was called."

Tonks backed away from the dress, and looked around the room, noticing for the first time that Fleur wasn't with them in the room. "Hey, where's the bride?"

"She eez with Charlie," replied Gabrielle in a bored voice, inspecting her perfectly manicured nails carefully.

Tonks' blood ran cold. "W-what?" she spluttered, her face suddenly a nervous white.

Gabrielle raised an eyebrow and turned her head toward Ginny and Hermione. "Can she not 'ear very well?" She faced Tonks again and said stupidly, "She. Eez. With. Charlie. You know, 'er soon to be brother-een-law?"

Tonks ignored her, not wanting to start up a fight with a twelve-year-old. "Where are they? What are they doing?"

This time it was Ginny who raised an eyebrow. "Why are you so concerned?"

Gabrielle suddenly gave a freakishly high-pitched squeal, and clapped her hands together. "Oh, oh, I bet she 'as a little crush on your brother, Ginny."

Oh, Merlin, could this girl be any stupider? Tonks thought dryly.

Ginny thoughts appeared to be somewhere along the same line, "Gabrielle, if you were any dafter, you'd be walking backwards. Just sod off, OK?" With that, she turned on her heel and flew out the door, her fiery red hair curtaining along behind her.

Gabrielle gave a little squeak, as if insulted, and Hermione made a 'tut' sound.

"Really…" Hermione commented, but cast a curious look at me. "And you can't like him, can you? I mean with everything that's – er – going on between you and Professor Lupin…"

Tonks snorted, almost forgetting her dismay over Ginny for a moment, "Hermione, you _really _have to stop calling him that." Hermione blushed furiously at that, and Gabrielle gave an indignant laugh. "Er – I think I had better go after Ginny," Tonks finished, and looked anxiously towards the door, hoping Ginny had not gone too far.

With that, she swept clumsily out the door. Once in the hallway, she closed the door quietly, before setting off to find Ginny. Luckily, she found her not too far off, leaning against the wall, almost in tears.

She was looking down determinedly at her shoes, and tugging fervently at her elegant gold bridesmaid dress. "Oh," Ginny lifted her head, as Tonks loud and ungraceful footsteps neared. "Hi, Tonks, I was just…nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing," Tonks said quietly, and settled into a position on the wall beside Ginny. "Gin, what's wrong?"

"Nothing!" She snapped, before burying her face in her hands, and hiccoughing miserably. "Oh, it's Harry."

Tonks was surprised. "Harry?" she asked, managed to not show her shock. "What about Harry?"

"We were dating," she answered offhandedly, and wiped her cheeks to rid signs of any fallen tears.

Tonks' jaw dropped, "Wow. I really didn't know that." Not wanting to be overly intrusive at a time like this, Tonks got past her surprise and trudged on, "So…what happened?"

"He dumped me," Ginny replied, in such a mature and calm voice that made her seem years older that she really was. "Noble reasons, of course."

Tonks eyes and tone hardened. "Oh, Merlin, him to? _Why _all the sane, strait, and nice men have to always screw it up, I'll never know." She looked at Ginny, and drew an empathetic face, "So what were his reasons?"

Ginny closed her eyes for a spilt second before answering in a flat, dull voice, "He has to do – _something_ – and he's afraid of putting me in danger. And I knew; I knew something was wrong as soon as I woke up that day. I knew it…" Ginny broke off and closed her eyes again, her face a perfect calm, showing next to no emotion.

"Oh, Gin…" said Tonks quietly, and hugged her tightly. "He'll come 'round, I know he will…" she broke off, and realized she was almost mimicking what Molly had said to her once.

Ginny broke away from her, and Tonks saw her mask of calm on her face was now gone, and it was now shimmering in glossy tears. "No, he won't. It won't be a happy ending, like you and Lupin."

_At least she doesn't still call him 'Professor'_, Tonks thought, at the back of her mind.

Tonks looked at the young girl sadly. "Yes, he will, Gin. Men are idiots, but he'll realize eventually -"

"No, you don't get it!" Ginny now yelled, tears still running hard and fast down her face, wetting the front of her beautiful dress. "He won't. If there were any hope for it, I wouldn't be here now telling you that there wasn't. There's something he has to do, I'm not sure what it is, because he won't tell me, but I have ideas. And the worst part is…" she looked at Tonks helplessly, her green eyes glittering, "I think I love him."

Tonks shut her eyes tightly, and embraced Ginny again. "Oh, Gin, it'll be all right," she reassured her between Ginny's loud hiccoughing breaths. "It'll be OK…"

"I know it won't," Ginny whispered. "But thanks. And I'm all right now," she added, pulling away from the hug and wiping her cheeks.

"Well, you'd better get back to Hermione," said Tonks, managing a reassuring smile. "I think she needs you to introduce her to makeup."

Ginny laughed, nodded, and began walking slowly away back to her room.

Oh, Merlin, thought Tonks. That girl deserves a happy ending. If I ever bump into Harry…

Her thoughts were cut short by a door being shut, slightly forcefully, from behind her.

Tonks turned. It was Charlie, and he looked even worse than he had the night before. His skin was a sickly white, and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Charlie?"

Charlie turned, and saw Tonks staring at him. "Oh…" His freckled face suddenly became even more miserable, if possible, "Hey, Tonks."

"Were you talking to Fleur in there?" she asked carefully, and looked at him as sympathetically as she could.

Charlie sighed. "Look, Tonks, I don't want to talk about this. It was stupid of me to come bursting into your flat the other night. Just forget anything happened, OK?"

Charlie made to walk away, but Tonks tightly grabbed his shoulder. "No. You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it. I would know," she added quietly.

Charlie groaned and shut his eyes tightly. "I don't know what to do," he whispered.

"C'mon," said Tonks, and began dragging him towards the currently empty guest room. When they got there, she closed the door carefully, and locked it securely with a spell.

"How did this all happen?" she asked, settling herself on the dusty four-poster bed. "You didn't really give time to explain it fully before, since you ran out the door the minute you confessed."

Charlie rubbed his temples, and began slowly pacing the room. "I don't know. I don't understand how it happened. I mean, it was just a kiss."

Tonks tilted her head, and looked at him questionably. "'Just a kiss'?"

"Yeah, well, see, I kissed her. It was before I found out I loved her, though. It was when I first met her, before her and Bill even began dating. I was just talking to her about some old thing, and then boom! I'm snogging her. I don't know why I even did it. I think it was the part Veela in her. Anyways, she pulled away, slapped me, and stormed off. And that should have been the end of it, right? But I couldn't…" Charlie paused, and gulped loudly, rubbing his temples more fiercely than ever, "I couldn't stop thinking about her. I _dreamt _about her. And when…when her and Bill got engaged, I wanted to kill him. Literally tear him limb from limb. And that's something I've never, _ever, _wanted to do before." He looked helplessly at Tonks, his bloodshot eyes screaming with despair, "You have to help me, Tonks. I know we've never been close or anything, but I trust you and your judgment. What should I do? Should I tell her?"

"Wasn't that what you were doing with Fleur before?" she asked, feeling now as almost distressed as Charlie.

"I chickened out," he replied simply, his voice barely a whisper.

Tonks was silent. So much drama was happening so fast. Charlie and Fleur, Harry and Ginny…and her and Remus. Yet only one could have a happy ending. At least, for a while.

The thought sent a chill down her spine. What if her and Remus broke up? All these years of wanting, wishing, and then finally, _finally,_ getting it could be taken away just like that? If that happened…she didn't know what she'd do.

_But of course it won't happen_, a voice in her head reassured her. _Remus isn't like that._

Isn't he?

"Er – Tonks?" muttered Charlie worriedly, his red-haired head titled to the side in a slightly questionable manner.

His voice snapped her from her thoughts back into reality. "Oh – yeah, Charlie."

Charlie cast her a suspicious look, "OK, then. Are you feeling all right?"

"Why?"

"'Cause you're all pale and have the kind of strangled look on your face that looks like someone's just died or something."

Blunt enough, Charlie, she thought dryly.

"Oh, well, I'm just fine," she lied lazily, yawning as she did so.

"Well, then back to my problem, what should I do?"

Tonks rolled her eyes, but managed to contain a sigh. "Look, Charlie, I really couldn't tell you. You got to do what you think is right. But…" Tonks paused, unsure whether putting in her own opinion would be a good thing, "Just think about this. If you told Fleur that you loved her, and for some reason that made her break up with, or maybe tell, Bill, how do you think he would feel? I mean, would you ever forgive _him _if he did that to you?" She lent over and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "But, good luck, Charlie."

But as she walked away, her thoughts were far from Charlie's troubles. Her mind kept on wandering back to the possibility of Remus breaking up with her.

You're barely even going out with him, she reminded herself sadly. You just snogged each other and said you wanted to be together forever. It's not like you've even gone on a date. Unless you count crying on his shoulder at Dumbledore's funeral a date.

_Maybe he's not ready for that kind of commitment. _

Tonks shuddered. I have to stop thinking about this, she told herself.

She swept as gracefully as she could back into Ginny's room (which meant she tripped over her own

feet. Twice).

Tonks found not only Hermione, Ginny and Gabrielle in the room, but also Fleur as well. Fleur looked quite worn, and over-the-top nervous, but she seemed, overall, to be happy, so obviously she had no idea of Charlie's feelings yet.

A pang of guilt struck Tonks' heart. What if Charlie did tell her? It would probably ruin her life. Or her wedding day, anyways, but to a girl, that's almost just as important.

And it would be all Tonks' fault.

"Oh, 'ello, Tonks!" squealed Fleur, in a strangely friendly manner.

Ginny raised her eyebrow and shook her head, while Hermione, seemingly oblivious to everything and everyone around her, glared at the wall, muttering silent words.

"So, Tonks, will you 'elp me with my zipper?" Fleur said, pointing elegantly to her back.

"You could 'ave asked me," pouted Gabrielle, crossing her arms stubbornly.

"You are too short," replied Fleur snobbishly. Again, she turned to Tonks in the friendly-like matter and repeated, "So? Will you 'elp me with my zipper?"

"Yeah, sure," Tonks said, and walked toward her, catching a bewildered glance from Ginny.

"It won't go up," Fleur complained childishly, as Tonks fought with the zipper. "I don't understand why."

"You must have put on some weight," said Tonks absently, before she could stop herself.

Fleur snapped her head towards her, her face filled with fury. "Me? Put on weight? 'Ow dare you? We Delacours 'ave the skeeniest and most beautiful weemen. We do not 'put on weight'." Fleur paused, and Tonks watched as her perfect face fell into a mask of sorrow and fear.

"Er – are you OK?" Tonks questioned, becoming slightly worried.

Fleur opened her mouth to answer, but instead twisted out of Tonks' grasp, almost ripping the zipper, and ran out of the room, her hand over her mouth.

Fleur's escape sent Hermione out of her trance. Her and Ginny exchanged worried looks, than turned to Tonks.

"What was that all about?" said Ginny, looking utterly confused.

"I don't know," Tonks replied, growing more and more worried by the second. "I think I'll go check what's up."

"Eet would be awful eef my seester was seeck on 'er wedding day," commented Gabrielle, as Tonks went out the door.

She found Fleur crouched over the toilet in the bathroom, puking her guts out.

"I'll wait outside," said Tonks hastily, and turned to leave.

"Wait! No, no, I am OK now," Fleur said quickly, backing away from the toilet and wobbly drawing herself up to her full height.

Tonks hesitated at the door, not sure whether to stay, or leave.

"Please stay," Fleur begged, her eyes strangely watery.

"Er – sure." Tonks sat down, cross-legged, on the cold linoleum beside Fleur.

"Tonks, I - " Fleur broke off quickly and bent over the toilet again, coughing horribly.

Tonks moved to her knees and bustled over to Fleur. She gingerly took her hair and held it back, trying not to listen to the awful sounds of Fleur regurgitating.

Once Fleur was finished, Tonks quickly let her hair down and turned to her. "Fleur, are you –"

"I am pregnant!" whined Fleur, interrupting Tonks and almost bursting into tears. "I can't beelieve it! I thought we were being careful and…and this eez my wedding day!"

This is turning into some kind of soap opera, thought Tonks irritably. Next, we're going to find out the baby might not be Bill's.

"But, isn't this a good thing?" asked Tonks hopefully. "I mean, what's better than to have a baby with the man you love?"

Tonks nearly laughed as she said that. Just imagine Remus and I having a baby, she thought. Not only would Remus be _eccentric_ about it, but our kid would be a lycanthropic metamorphmagus.

"I don't know," said Fleur slowly. "I theenk…I theenk, it's because I cannot stop theenking about Charlie."

And with that she burst into tears.

Well, I was close, Tonks thought.

"Oh, Fleur…" said Tonks, as calmly as she could. "It's – er – OK, so, well, do you love him?"

"Who?" spluttered Fleur, ending her tears immediately.

"Charlie…"

"Of course not!" roared Fleur, looking totally outraged. "'Ow dare you say that? I love Bill weeth all my heart. 'Im, no one else, just 'im! I thought _you _could relate to that," she ended sourly, giving Tonks a glare to match.

Tonks face and hair grew red with anger and irritation. Everyone was spilling their hearts out to her, which she didn't mind really, but the least they could do was show her some courtesy, or maybe ask if anything was troubling _her_.

"Look, I do understand, OK? I just got the wrong end of the stick," she ranted, but successfully made her hair turn back to what it was before. "So…" she continued, settling down, "Why can't you 'stop thinking about' dear, sweet old Charlie?" Tonks said Charlie's name perhaps more bitterly than she meant to, as Fleur cast her a slightly bewildered look.

"Something eez troubling 'im," she said simply. "And 'e 'as become like a brother to me…though not to say we didn't 'ave a…_rough _start," she broke off, looking slightly embarrassed, and Tonks guessed she was referring to this kiss that Charlie had mentioned had occurred between them. "Any'ow, I need to know what eez troubling 'im. I theenk I almost got it out of 'im thees morning, but…" Fleur looked down at her hands, tears blurring her vision. "Oh, this baby 'as come at such a bad time."

"Baby's never really come at a good time," said Tonks comfortingly, hoping to draw the conversation away from Charlie. "Take me for example. My mom barely even knew my dad when she got pregnant, and they kind of just got married because of it, but now, bang! It's almost twenty-five years later and they still can't keep off each other. I kind of wish they would though, especially when I come to visit." Tonks ended, now somewhat disgusted.

Fleur looked at her strangely, as if inspecting a species of ape.

Tonks rolled her eyes, and fought the temptation to stomp her foot, scowl dramatically and stick out her tongue.

"Er – ladies?" came a bold voice from the doorway.

They both turned tom see two identical red-heads poking out from the doorway, looking with growing interest, at Tonks and Fleur.

"Wedding's starting in forty-five," said Fred matter-of-factly.

"You two gals better skadattle," said George, nodding towards Fleur, whose wet cheeks and flooded makeup was extremely prominent.

"We're coming, we're coming," said Tonks, shooing the twins out.

"Don't hex the messenger," said George lazily.

"But we wouldn't mind if you hexed our mother," continued Fred. "As she _was _the one who told _us_ to tell _you_ to 'get off your lazy buttocks and come down here'. Actually, those were her exact words."

"Sure," said Tonks, grinning madly. "I'll see you two down there, then. Oh, and Fred," she called to the departing twins, "I hope you invited Angelina, because I know she's dying to see you."

She quickly left a confused Fred and smug George to figure it out on their own. But instead of turning back into the bathroom to help Fleur, Tonks continued down the hall, only to bump into a completely out-of-it Hermione.

"Hey, Hermione," Tonks said slowly, watching as Hermione, once again, snapped out of her trance.

"Oh! Hello, Tonks," said Hermione absently, the dazed look in her eyes still quite apparent.

"Are you OK? You look a little out of it."

"Yes, oh – yes – I'm fine."

Apparently, it would take a bit more work to get whatever was bothering Hermione out of her. She doesn't seem quite as happy to spill her guts out as the others.

"You don't look fine. Seriously, Hermione, you can tell me. It always feels better to tell someone."

Immediately the dazed look in Hermione's eyes disappeared, only to be replaced with a sharp, penetrating one. "I am totally fine! And even if there _was _anything, it is none of your business! I can deal fine on my own, thank-you-very-much."

Tonks mouth dropped. She had never heard such an outburst from Hermione. Well, at least she was showing _some_ emotion. "OK…" she started carefully, not looking away from Hermione once. "But if you need to talk, I'm here."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind," replied Hermione, almost sarcastically. Her face was wiped of all emotion, except for her sharp glare, which was almost drilling a hole in Tonks.

Tonks sighed, and turned back towards Ginny's room, hoping they were all ready. What a day this was turning out to be.

----

Remus was sitting silently on a flowery green bench, in the middle of the Weasley's garden. He was admiring the view of the little reception they had set up. It was truly amazing how they had gotten all the green benches just so, and how they had decorated every one right down the last detail. Though, it wasn't as if they hadn't used magic.

At that thought, Remus felt an unnecessary pang of pity for Muggles. _How _they survived their whole lives without magic was beyond him. But then again, he could have met a fate much, much worse than just surviving without magic.

A shiver ran down Remus' spine at the very thought. He could not imagine what would have become of him if he had ended up living his life with a pack of feral werewolves. How many poor people he would have slaughtered…

_Stop_, he told himself firmly. _Just stop. You're at a wedding, be happy…_

How can I be, when I know in just a week's time I'll be living – yet again – with a pack of wild animals.

And I haven't even told Tonks yet…

Remus glanced longingly at the tipsy house on his left. He could see, through the window, Molly screaming something nearly audible at the twins, who were rolling their eyes and groaning.

A smile flickered on Remus' face for a moment, before it was replaced with a solemn frown, always a sign he slipping into deep thought.

_You have to tell her soon, _chimed a voice in his head. _You can't afford to have a repeat of what you did after Dumbledore's funeral._

Remus groaned a loud at the memory. He wished he hadn't run off like that, he had obviously hurt Tonks' feelings…but he just hadn't been able to stand the guilt. She had a right to know that he was going back on his mission, before they started anything they might regret.

Just then, loud voices from behind startled him out of his thoughts. He looked over and saw two women, one thin, blonde, and elegant; the other tall, lanky, and blue-haired. He watched, transfixed, as the blonde woman irritably helped the other woman straighten up, as she had promptly fallen on her face moments before. He smiled as they approached him, one slowly and uninterestedly, the other with excitement and bubbly joy.

"Hello, Nymphadora," he said quietly as she embraced him tightly.

"Hi," she squeaked, as though she had not spoken for days. She smiled and sighed, brushing a hand through her vibrant hair as she did so.

He stepped back slightly to admire her. She was, for once in her life, wearing a dress, and an extremely flowery one at that. He had to give her credit for being courteous and _trying _to fit in…though, as he examined her hair, the overwhelming blue kind of destroyed the effect.

She noticed him looking at her and smiled, once again, and did a very Fleur-like, sweeping back of her hair, and a dramatic wink.

Remus smiled. She really was beautiful.

And he had to tell her soon.

----

_A/N: OK, I know this chapter is called 'Talking to Troubled Teens' yet Tonks talks to Fleur (who I think kind of counts as a teen) and Charlie too. But I thought 'Talking to Troubled Teens and Charlie' would be a bit much. Anyhow, hope you liked my longest chapter yet (I'm kinda proud of it :P) and thanks for the reviews!_

_**bookworm federation unlimited : Thanks! Tisk, tisk, but I like how the other site reviews the entries first, and rejects them if they have to many erros or etc. I find that extremely helpful cause I am a really terrible editor.I hope you liked this chapter!**_

_**smash: Hehe, yes, Charlie and Fleur. I'm not really sure where I'll go with that though...Thanks for the review! Oh, and also, about the spelling mistake tbing, you're totally right. Lol, thanks for pointing it out, I'll fix it when I have time :)**_

_**PiaMcKinnon: Thanks! Yeah, I'm not really sure how many chapters will come...I have a few ideas, that I know will take about ten chapters or so...maybe. I'm not sure, I'll just keep going as I keep on getting ideas. I just love the Lupin - Tonks ship thingy :) .**_

_**LaC: Thanks! I hope you liked this chapter :)**_

**_Priscila: Hehe, thanks...the thing with Hermione will come up soon :) . Don't worry, I'll get Charlie to hook up with someone else...eventually, lol. But who...hmmm? Thanks for reviewing!_**

_**BexyLou: Hehe, I know, Remus a prat right now...but he has his reasons...however stupid they are. He is so likeable, isn't he? -sigh-. Thanks for the review!**_

_**ButterCowLuvr: Lol, nice name, I love it! I hope you liked this chapter. Thanks for the review!**_

_**deadgirlythings: Well, I hope you liked this chapter. Thanks for reviewing!**_

_**Windedspirit: Er, well, I didn't take too long with this one, lol. And I'll probably be writing this story for a LONG time. I like the Lupin/Tonks ship too much, hehe. Thanks for the...interesting, lol...reivew. I hope you liked this chapter!**_

_**raykoRavenclaw: Lupin is being a prat...but it's in his nature, lol. Thanks for the reivew, hope you liked this chapter!**_

_**krumfan: Thanks. I'll keep the wolf-transformation thing in mind for different stories, because you're right, he is a bit to normal. Thanks for reviewing!**_

****


	17. The Reception

_A/N: I have finally updated! I hope everyone likes this chapter, though really not that much happens, lol. Thanks for the reviews everyone, and, sadly, now I can't reply to them on the actual story. And,I don't have much time to respond to them all individually, so if you don't get a reply, it's not because I don't appreciate the review. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!_

Chapter Seventeen: The Reception

"I cannot do thees!" wailed Fleur, crumpling to the floor, her face in her hands. "I cannot marry 'im, I can't, I can't…"

Hermione and Tonks exchanged exasperated looks and crouched down to eye-level with Fleur.

"Look, Fleur, you're being silly. Yes, OK, Charlie has just proclaimed his undying love to you, but it doesn't matter! Because you don't love him!" said Tonks, for about the thirtieth time this afternoon. "And as long as we keep it between us, no one will ever get hurt."

Hermione nodded sadly. "She's right. If you love Bill, and want to marry him, that's all that matters."

Fleur let out a strangled cry and roughly shook her head. "But…but…Charlie! 'E weell be 'urt!"

Hermione gave her a sympathetic glance. "I know…but he'll get over it."

Tonks snorted, and crossed her arms. "And if he doesn't, it's his fault. I mean, pulling you aside from the ceremony, dragging you up here and saying he was head over heels in love with you was just stupid. What if Bill somehow heard? Though, I guess you could say I'm one to talk, but still…" Hermione shot her a devious look, and Fleur let out a wail. "If you love Bill, marry him. He's outside, waiting, worried. So is everyone else."

"Exactly," said Hermione, forced a smile, and helped Fleur to her feet.

"I love Bill…I want to marry him," chanted Fleur absently. "I love him…"

"Do you?" questioned Tonks seriously, ignoring the dangerous glare Hermione sent her. "No, I'm serious, because if you don't, you can't do this. If you have doubts…or any suspicious that you may…love…Charlie…"

Fleur opened her mouth, let out a tiny inaudible gasp, and then closed it again, her lower lip trembling dangerously. "No," she whispered weakly, her hands clasped tightly together. "No, no, no. I love Bill, I know I do." Fleur's voice heightened dramatically, and she rose to her feet. "I feel nothing for Charlie but older-brotherly admiration. I love Bill, and I weell do anything for 'im, even if it means breaking 'is idiot of a brothers' 'eart in ze process!"

Tonks and Hermione exchanged bemused looks, and Tonks couldn't help but smile.

"Well?" said Fleur, her hands on her hips. "Are we going to my wedding, or not?"

Fleur turned elegantly on her heel, and practically floated out the door, quickly drying her wet cheeks with the sleeve on her dress.

Hermione and Tonks hurried along after her.

"I do hope she'll be OK," said Hermione sincerely, hurriedly fixing her already perfect braid. "She was in such a state."

"I am going to _kill_ Charlie Weasley," Tonks growled, her electric blue hair slowly turning a dangerous magenta. "How could he _do_ that to her. He's more of a prat than I thought."

"Especially since she's pregnant," chirped Hermione abruptly.

Tonks stopped walking and stared; Hermione couldn't be _that _smart.

Hermione absorbed Tonks' dazed expression and suddenly let out a wail, clapping her hand to her head. "Oh, Merlin, I am _such_ an idiot. I can't believe I just said that."

Realization suddenly flooded Tonks, "You overheard us, didn't you?"

Hermione groaned and nodded her head, "Yes, but look, I didn't mean –"

"No, look, Hermione, it's OK," said Tonks with a wicked smile. "You'd figure out soon enough anyhow, you being a genius and all…" Hermione flushed at the compliment, and Tonks' smile grew, "But don't…tell anyone, or I'm dead, 'cause Fleur would kill me if this leaked out so soon. Like, before she's told Bill."

"I totally understand," said Hermione, in a somewhat relieved manner. "But, Bill doesn't know yet? She should really tell him, he has a right to know."

Here we go, Tonks thought, managing to not roll her eyes. This is exactly why Ginny and me get on better.

"She just found out herself," Tonks reassured her, glancing quickly out the window to her left. "And she'll tell him when she's ready."

Tonks paused, and closed her eyes, letting her hair turn back to electric blue. "We better get going," she said, opening her eyes. "Or they'll start without us."

Hermione and Tonks hurried down the many flights of the Burrow, and were almost running by the time they met up with Fleur at the front door. She was shaking and watching Bill sorrowfully, hiccoughing softly every few seconds.

"'E looks so 'andsome," she whispered, and sighed.

Tonks snuck a glance at Bill. He was wearing a moth-devoured grey suit that had large, questionable green spots on it. His long fiery hair was slicked back into a gel-covered ponytail, and his large green eyes were wild with worry. His scars were more prominent then ever, and gave his face a living-dead kind of look. But Fleur hadn't meant the outside. Bill was positively shining with happiness and love, despite all the worry.

Though his face was practically eaten by bruises and cuts, his smile was still visible. He was handsome, Tonks agreed silently.

Beside her, Hermione burst into a fit of tears, and rapped her arms around Fleur. "You're so lucky," she wailed.

Hermione's outburst turned the crowd's attention to them. Tonks could see a relieved expression set in on both Molly and Arthur's face.

"Oh, thank Merlin," Molly whispered.

Bill immediately came rushing down the aisle, nearly knocking over Ron, who was leaning over on his chair and looking carefully at a piece of gold paper.

"Are you all right?" he asked as Tonks and him pried Hermione off. "What did Charlie want?"

Fleur opened her mouth, but Tonks quickly cut across her, "Oh, he just proved he was a total idiot. I don't think he'll be going the wedding party. Now, c'mon, let's get this ceremony started!" She hurriedly pushed Bill away. "Go down the aisle and pretend this never happened!"

She turned next to Fleur and Hermione, "OK. I guess you know what to do, Fleur. Me and Hermione'll just go -"

"Wait! Ginny she ez…she ez not 'ere!" cried Fleur, looking around wildly. "You!" She pointed at Tonks, "You 'ave to be my other bridesmaid! You 'ave 'elped me so much."

"Er – OK," stuttered Tonks.

"I'll see you after the wedding," said Hermione hastily, and quickly went to take her seat beside Ron.

Fleur poked Tonks hard in the back. "Go up there and wait for me!" she demanded. "Beside Gabrielle!"

Tonks started quickly up the aisle, receiving a suspicious glance from Molly. Her eyes suddenly locked with Remus' for a split second, and she promptly tripped over a large stone. She straightened up hastily and shot a nasty glare at a hysterically laughing Ron.

She squeezed herself in between Gabrielle and the surprisingly chubby little flower-girl, who could not be more then five, but was a tall and as large as a ten-year-old.

"Where is Ginny?" hissed Gabrielle, obviously angry that Tonks was here instead.

"You tell me," Tonks retorted quietly, her eyes once more searching the crowd.

Her eyes locked once again with Remus' and she felt her insides flutter as Gabrielle spoke.

"She went over to talk to zat 'Arry boy when you all took off. Next thing I saw, she was dragging 'im into the 'ouse. She didn't look very 'appy."

"What?" Tonks' head snapped over to Gabrielle. "Really?"

"Uhmm-hmmm," murmured Gabrielle, carefully inspecting her nails.

Tonks scanned the crowd and noticed for the first time that there was an empty seat beside Hermione. "I hope she knocks some sense into him," Tonks muttered to herself.

"Shut up!" said Gabrielle, elbowing Tonks hard. "My seester ez coming!"

Tonks' eyes traveled to Fleur, who was walking slowly down the aisle, her silvery hair floating along behind her.

"She's so beautiful," whispered Bill hoarsely.

Tonks suddenly felt jealously somehow find it's way back into her system. This time, not really of Bill and Fleur, but of their wedding. She had never really known before how much she wanted to get married. And start a family. She looked over at Remus, whose attention was totally on Fleur, who had now started to cry again.

He'd never marry me, she thought. I can't see Remus proposing, or even _talking _about it, for that matter. He barely even wanted to start a relationship with me. Marriage is out of the question.

Tonks' heart sank, and she felt tears threaten to spill. Stop being so silly, she told herself sternly. Why would I want to get married anyways? Especially in a time like this. Nothing good would ever come of it. Just more people to lose.

Still, her sad mood wouldn't lift. Fleur had finally reached Bill, and he was currently giving her a very passionate welcoming kiss.

"That's disgusting," said the gigantic flower girl beside her.

"Shut up," Tonks hissed. At least _he _isn't afraid to show he loves her.

She looked again at Remus, and found that he was now smiling knowingly back at her.

"What?" she mouthed silently, excitement suddenly filling her.

He shook his head, and diverted his attention to Fleur and Bill, still kissing loudly.

Finally, with a small 'ahem', from Molly, the two broke apart.

"I love you so much," Bill whispered, looking as though he'd won the lottery.

"I love you too," replied Fleur, and gave him the happiest of smiles.

Tonks looked out into the distance, suddenly feeling suffocated. Unexpectedly, she saw a mass of red hair and freckles move out of the shadows and into sight. It was Charlie, and he looked positively miserable. He was looking at Fleur in the same manner as Bill, though definitely more desperately. He glanced over suddenly and caught Tonks' eye. She didn't frown, or smile. She didn't really know what to feel. He nodded, and turned on his heel, Disapparting quickly. A feeling in her stomach told her that would be the last she saw of Charlie Weasley for quite some time.

_----_


	18. Dirty Dancing

Chapter Eighteen: Dirty Dancing

Tonks was sitting comfortably on a flowery green bench, which clashed horribly with her dress. Though, she didn't really seem to care.

It was the reception of Bill and Fleur's wedding, which had lucky been an overall success. People were currently dancing slowly to a quite frankly terrible song, which Tonks had refused to take part in.

Tonks eyes scanned the dance floor. Molly and Arthur were dancing wildly, as they had been for the last ten songs. She wondered mildly how they could keep at it so long, as they weren't exactly _young_.

Ginny was dancing slowly with a French boy, who seemed to be Fleur's second cousin, though no one was quite sure. Tonks snuck a glance at Harry, whom had been watching the couple for almost half an hour, jealously blazed across his face.

Bill and Fleur, of course, were dancing romantically. They were also kissing each other at the same time, and barely seemed to notice a crowd of people surrounded them.

Fred was doing a quite inappropriate version of the chicken dance with George and Angelina, whom he had apparently invited anyways. Angelina and him kept on sneaking glances at each other, and Tonks wondered when he would finally ask her out.

Ron and Hermione weren't exactly dancing, but they were standing in the middle of the dance floor together, separately swaying with the music. Every minute or two they went to say something to the other, but then thought better of it and went back to there swaying. It was almost too sad to watch.

Remus, to her dismay, was nowhere to be seen. He had disappeared as soon as the ceremony ended, which had been near to hours ago.

She looked sadly up at the moon. It was only a crescent.

_No excuse this time, Remus_.

The song ended and Tonks went back onto the dance for, searching for an interesting party in which to join. She spotted George, who was now by himself as Fred had asked Angelina to dance privately.

"Hey Georgikins! Alone again?" Tonks said happily, as she joined him.

"Alone _again_? I've never been alone before. And please don't call me Georgikins," he added with a shudder.

Tonks grinned. "You're not as funny without your twin, are you?"

"Nonsense!" He cried, and pretended to be insulted. "Never in my life have I heard such gibberish! I'm the one who _makes_ the funny between us. I just wish I had a girl, is all."

"Ah, you'll get one soon enough," Tonks reassured him gleefully. "But here, what kind of girls d'you prefer?"

"Blondes, I suppose," he said with a grin. "With blue eyes…tall, and skinny, too."

Tonks rolled her eyes. She suddenly scrunched up her face in concentration and the next moment her hair was a long, strawberry blonde and her eyes were a vivid blue.

"This good enough for you?" She said, with a dazzling smile.

"Hmmm," George said, studying her. "Too old for me really. Can you un-age yourself a bit?"

"I'm twenty flipping four!" Tonks cried, and punched him softly on the shoulder. "Well, I suppose you've missed your chance me now…" She gave him a wink and another smile.

George smiled. "Boo hoo for me, then. But I must get going, Fred and Angelina are finished dancing and I must stop them before they start snogging each other senseless in front of everyone. Tootles."

Tonks let out a laugh and glanced at Angelina and Fred, who were indeed on the point of kissing. She turned quickly, only to collide head on with Remus.

"Argh! Oh! Remus!" she spluttered, trying desperately to straighten herself up.

"Hello, Nymphadora," he breathed, his eyes laughing but his face unimaginably serious.

"Where have you been?" she demanded, finally steady.

"Around," he said slyly, laughter still in his eyes.

Tonks put her hands on her hips. "You know, it's not very nice to laugh at people."

"I wasn't," He said simply.

Tonks sighed. He really was a good liar.

"I see you're a blonde tonight," Remus commented, a small grin flickering on his face.

"Oh, well, it was for George. I'm helping him through a rough patch," Tonks said, and slipped her hands around Remus' waist before he could stop her or question her statement.

Remus smiled down at her, and then drew away, holding his hand in hers.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked softly, not looking away from her once.

"Yes," Tonks answered firmly, and rapped her hands around his neck, while he put his hands smoothly around her waist.

Tonks listened to the music for a moment, then smiled. It was a slow song. She drew nearer to him, so they were only about a millimeter apart.

She looked up at him. She had never noticed how tall he was before. Not lanky, clumsy tall, but a graceful and careful tall. Tonks smiled and closed her eyes, absorbing the moment.

When she opened her eyes she immediately met his glance. It was full of guilt, and nervousness, reminding her painfully of that time when she had first confessed her feelings…

"Are you all right?" she murmured, burying her face into his sweater.

To her surprise, he backed away slightly. "I'm fine," he answered calmly.

Tonks sighed, but decided to let it go. She would talk to him later. She looked again into his eyes, and smiled.

"I love you," she said, and lifted her chin up, about to kiss him.

But before she could, he broke out of her grasp, ending the dance and the moment.

Tonks stared at him, open-mouthed. "What's wrong with you?" she hissed. "I thought we were over all this."

"Look, this is a completely different thing. I promise." He smiled at her, but Tonks remained totally unconvinced and hurt. "Besides, I don't think it's very beneficial for the kids to see us kissing."

"Beneficial? What?" Tonks said, totally lost.

"Well, they see us as role models. Parent-figures, I suppose. Now how would you like to your parents snogging in public?"

"Haha! See, I've already had the pleasure of witnessing that again, and again, and again. But I admit, you're right, it's disgusting," Tonks said, slightly angry and annoyed. "And I hardly think they're children anymore. So find a different excuse, I'm not buying this one." With that she turned and walked off the dance floor, settling once again on one of the green flowered benches.

Remus followed her almost immediately. "Do you want to take a walk?"

"I would absolutely _adore _that, Remus," she said dryly, and began walking with Remus towards a small, gnome-infested garden.

They walked in silence for almost five minutes, Tonks growing angrier by the second, until Remus spoke up.

"Look, about that night…"

"I thought we had been over all that," Tonks said, almost pleadingly, and forgot totally about being annoyed with him.

"We had," he said, sounding and looking very exasperated.

"Then what, Remus?" She turned on him, her eyes unexpectedly filling with tears. "I am so bloody tired of this! Don't you love me? Is this even serious for you? Or are you just playing around? Damn it, Remus, if you don't want me anymore, just say so!"

Without warning, he grabbed her and kissed her passionately. Tonks immediately felt all her anger melt, and she sighed. After a moment, he broke away, both of them out of breath.

He stood back a step, grasping her hands tightly, and looked her straight in the eye. "Nymphadora, I love you more then anything in the world. I am never going to let you go through what you went through this last year. And I am serious about this, I really am. But…I have to tell you something."

Tonks closed her eyes, and nodded. "OK, what is it?"

Remus let go of her hands and looked up at the moon. "I'm going back on my mission."

Tonks' jaw dropped. "You're what? Your mission? You don't mean…" Tonks stopped cold, and felt her face pale a few shades.

Remus looked down at her once more, and then glanced over at the still-dancing party guests. He nodded slowly, still watching the couples dancing. "I'm going back to live with the werewolves."

"No, no, no. Remus, you can't! And why? Dumbledore…" she broke off, a lump suddenly rising in her throat. "Dumbledore is gone. Why do you have to keep on putting yourself through this torture?"

Remus sighed, now definitely avoiding her stare. "Nymphadora, please, try to understand. I was possibly on the verge of convincing –"

"Possibly? Here that? _Possibly_," Tonks said, her temper flaring. "Those werewolves are wild and vicious! And, and, Greyback _saw_ you fighting for the Order! He'll never let you back into a pack! He'll…he'll…" Tonks broke off, suddenly feeling extremely sick.

Remus sighed again, closing eyes for a moment before answering, "Tonks, look, there are other packs outside the control of Greyback. I believe that with a bit more –"

"They're vicious, Remus! They'll kill you!" Tonks now shouted.

"I'm just the same as they are," he said softly, still looking away from her. "Tonks, I have to –"

"Look at me, Remus!" she yelled, and grabbed the front of his robes. "Look at me! You're not like them! You are kind, gentle, loving, totally gorgeous…" She bit her lip and broke off, letting go of his robes. "Why are you doing this?"

Tonks heard him sigh; totally exhausted. He moved closer and put his hand on her chin, titling it upwards. "I have to do this, Nymphadora. Dumbledore being…dead doesn't change anything. I was given a mission and I will not quit until I know there is nothing else I can do. I'm sorry," he finished, looking guilt-ridden.

Tonks looked down at her shoes. "No, don't apologize. I – understand. Well, no, I don't, but I can see why you're doing this. I'm sorry I freaked out." She glanced over at the partiers, and saw they were beginning to pack into the Burrow. "We had better catch up with the others," she said, grasped his hand and began walking slowly over to the Burrow.

They let go of each other's hands as they neared the door 'for the children's sake'. Or that's what Remus said. Tonks had a lingering feeling it was because he still wasn't comfortable about being with her.

"Oh! Tonks, where've you been?" slurred Bill, as they entered the Burrow.

There were streamers everywhere, and the walls and floor were littered with confetti and glitter. Tonks noticed, in the corner, Molly trying to persuade Ginny to get off to bed. Ginny obviously didn't seem to be obliging, as she was bright red in the face, and was stomping her feet loudly.

"Ugh, Bill, you stink," Tonks said, waving her hands in front of her face to rid the beery stench. It was obvious he had drunken quite a lot.

"Well, thank-you," he replied, with an awful lopsided grin on his face. "Now, where's my Fleur?"

He waddled off to the left, nearly crashing into the triangular punchbowl.

Tonks spotted Ginny, and began to walk quickly over to her, ignoring Remus completely. She just wasn't in the mood to talk to him anymore.

Molly had reluctantly let her stay, with the promise that under _no_ circumstances would she consume any alcohol.

Her reasoning had apparently gone to waste, because when Tonks reached her, she smelt almost as bad as Bill, and was currently downing a shot glass of vodka.

"Always the rebel, aren't you?" Tonks commented, once she came within earshot.

Ginny shrugged, and put the glass down with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" Tonks said, as sympathetically as she could manage. "Harry again?"

"Shhh!" Ginny scolded, and despite the alcohol seemed totally steady. "He's here, you know." She pointed over to the middle of the room, where Hermione, Ron and Harry indeed stood. "I don't want him hearing you. I can't deal with him coming over or anything right now. Or ever again really, for that matter."

Tonks resisted the urge to run over to Harry and start screaming the odds, and instead looked over at the sofa where Bill and Fleur now sat, cuddling intimately.

"Where were you during the wedding?" Tonks asked, deciding that letting Ginny say it herself would be better then just straight out accusing her of it.

"I was talking to Harry," Ginny answered simply, her expression and voice so plain it was almost as if she didn't care in the least.

"Get anywhere?" said Tonks, matching Ginny's expressionless tone.

"Nope," she answered, with absolutely no sign of bitterness. "He's dead set on not being with me."

Tonks sighed. "He'll come back to you," she said promisingly.

"No, he won't," Ginny said, downing another shot glass. "Even after the war, he'll meet some gorgeous French girl, like Bill, and forget all about me. Not that Bill forgot all about me, though, he didn't really pay much attention to begin with." Ginny turned suddenly, nearly falling into the wall, "Now, I think I'm going to go talk to George. He looks quite lonely without his other half."

Tonks sighed again, and rubbed her temples furiously. Today was turning out to be extremely long.

Tonks turned, as she felt a sharp poke in the back. She found herself face-to-face with Hermione, whose face was shockingly pale, and was scrunching a handkerchief in her hand quite violently.

"Tonks, can I talk to you for a moment?" Hermione looked down at her shoes as she said this, and her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, sure," answered Tonks, feeling a strange bubble of excitement start to fill her.

"Over…there?" Hermione pointed to the kitchen, which was currently unoccupied.

"OK."

As soon as they entered the kitchen, Hermione set off on a spiel of confessions. "It's just, her, right? And the - it's so weird! She told me! I hate – she hates! Me! And, everything! And, and, it's just so…doesn't make any sense! I don't – I don't know. Am I making a too big deal? And…just everything about it!"

"Whoa, stop!" said Tonks, holding up a hand. "I have _no_ idea what you're talking about. Slow down. Start from the beginning, OK?"

Hermione inhaled deeply, and nodded. "OK, well, er – yes. It happened…it happened the day before…Dum…Dumble…er – the funeral. This…girl, she came up to me, and told me…told me she's going to have a baby. And she's…she's only in my year, too! But the weirdest thing is, we're not even friends. In fact, we hate each other. I have no idea why she told me. I suppose she doesn't have any real friends." Hermione stopped, and looked up at ceiling, then down at the sink full of dirty dishes.

"Is that it?" Tonks asked cautiously, knowing she was treading on dangerous grounds.

"Well – no," Hermione admitted, now looking Tonks in the eye. "There's more, but I don't think I should tell you."

"OK, you don't have to," she replied smoothly, ignoring the feeling of excitement that wanted to know the whole story.

"But…if I did…" began Hermione softly, fiddling with her hands annoyingly, "it might help in catching a Death Eater…or two."

Tonks' auror side immediately kicked in. "Hermione, you have to tell me if it's that important. _Any _information that could help catch a Death Eater is vital."

Hermione paled slightly. "But, still, I mean…"

"No, Hermione, you _have_ to tell me. Or, if you'd prefer, I could get Moody or another Auror in here…"

"OK, OK, OK," said Hermione quickly, biting her lip. "It…well, the girl, she's…Pansy Parkinson."

Tonks furrowed her brow. Who was Pansy Parkinson? Her surname seemed vaguely familiar…an old pureblood family, no doubt. But as Tonks scanned her brain, she couldn't think of any Death Eaters that had been a Parkinson.

"Er – Hermione, I don't see how this could –"

"It's not her that's important, it's – well – the father," said Hermione exhaustedly, seeming to regret having approaching Tonks.

When Hermione remained silent, Tonks spoke up, "And who is that?"

"D-Draco Malfoy," she said nervously, and recoiled as Tonks jumped about a mile in surprise.

"Malfoy? Pansy Parkinson was _Draco Malfoy's_ girlfriend, and now she's having his kid?" repeated Tonks, slowly; clarifying that was what Hermione had basically said.

When Hermione nodded quickly, Tonks collapsed against the kitchen counter. "Oh, Merlin. Oh, Merlin, oh, Merlin, oh, Merlin," she chimed gradually, her mind suddenly and inexplicably blank.

Hermione looked longingly back at the kitchen door, regretting deeply having come to Tonks. Now the guilt of betraying Pansy, however much she despised her, would be weighing her down.

"So," began Tonks, as tried successfully to gather her thoughts, "Malfoy has an unexpected baby on the way. And his girlfriends in hysterics, am I correct on that?"

Hermione nodded again, sighing slightly.

A huge smile had now appeared on Tonks' face. "Well, then, thanks for the information," she said sweetly, or, what in her case could be described as sweet.

"Wait – er – aren't you going to tell me what you're…or how…you're going to use this information?" Hermione inquired, her eyes sharp and her tone shockingly penetrating.

"To be honest Hermione, I don't know myself. I'm going to discuss it later with my – er – colleague," she replied, and pulled a regretful face. Though she could hardly contain a smile as she thought back on her words…it wasn't exactly a 'colleague' she would be discussing this with.

Hermione's face fell, but she seemed to understand. "Just please don't discuss this with too many people. I would just feel dreadful if everyone came to know about it…"

"Don't worry," Tonks reassured her, giving a small smile and a wink. "The secrets safe with me."

They exited the kitchen quietly, not saying another word. While Hermione went back to Harry and Ron, Tonks sought out Remus.

It was really hard to find him in the crowded room. It was hard to find anyone, but Remus especially, as he always seemed to be easily able to slip into the shadows.

She finally found him chatting idly to Molly on one of the sofas.

"I'm afraid they're planning something dangerous," Tonks could just make out Molly saying. "What if…?"

"It's their choice," said Remus, quietly and firmly, in a way that only he could do. "It might be silly, stupid and immature, but they're seventeen, or almost seventeen, now, and you can't stop them, Molly."

"I know, I know…it's just –"

Tonks, not wanting to be found eavesdropping, suddenly coughed loudly, drawing the immediate attention of the two.

"Wotcher, Remus, Molly," she said, smiling apologetically.

Remus looked briefly into her eyes, and then back to Molly, who was smiling happily.

"Oh, there you are, Tonks! I thought we'd lost you. Did you enjoy the ceremony?"

"Oh, yeah, it was great. Cute." Tonks turned sharply to Remus, who, as she examined him more carefully, looking especially worn and tired. "Er – Remus, could I talk to you for moment?"

Before Remus could say anything, Molly spoke. "Well, I'll get out of your way. Have fun you two." She turned, and bustled quickly over to where Arthur and the twins were, in what looked like very deep conversation.

They just looked at each other for a moment, before Tonks joined him on the sofa.

"Nymphadora, if this is about -"

"No, it's not," Tonks interrupted. "But I can't tell you here, and that's why we're leaving. Right now."

"Er – leaving where, exactly?" asked Remus, an eyebrow raised questionably.

"To my flat. You're staying the night."

Remus seemed shocked. "I'm _what_? Are you sure?"

"'Course I'm sure," said Tonks firmly, standing up. "Now, c'mon."

Reluctantly, Remus got up and let her drag him out the door.

When they were outside, Tonks turned to him. "You do know, like, _exactly_ where my flat is, right?"

"I believe so."

"OK, well then, first one there wins!" And with that, Tonks Apparated with a loud 'pop'.

Surprisingly, when Tonks stumbled into the living room of her flat, she found Remus already there, inspecting the premises carefully.

"You cleaned up," he commented nonchalantly.

"How did you do that?" she said, slightly of breath.

"Do what?" he turned, confused.

"Apparate so fast," she murmured in disbelief. "That's amazing."

Remus flashed a quick smile, but remained silent.

After a moment or so, Remus spoke. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Draco Malfoy."

Remus eyes flashed brightly for a second, and he seemed immediately interested. "You've found information on his whereabouts?"

"Well, not really. But I have found something out that could prove just as important."

"What?" Remus asked, almost eagerly.

"First, sit down," Tonks pointed lazily over to her sofa. "And I'll get some cookies."

Remus quickly assembled himself politely on her sofa, whilst Tonks took her time in the kitchen. After letting him suffer in anticipation for almost five minutes, she piled the cookies messily onto a bright blue plate and took it over to Remus.

"They're really good," she commented, as she stuffed one in her mouth. "Want one?"

"No, thanks," Remus replied quietly, a small smile beginning to show in his features. He knew she was making him wait.

Tonks swallowed, then turned to him, smiling devilishly. "OK, well, what I saying before, I've found something interesting about Malfoy."

"And what is that?"

"His girlfriend's going to have his baby."

Remus, who was about to take a bite of a cookie he had just picked up (after thinking they did look quite delicious after all), dropped it abruptly, his eyes wide.

"I know, I know, I couldn't believe it either," Tonks commented as Remus hastily picked up his cookie. "But I have a very reliable source, and I trust them."

Remus, as always, did not dig any deeper into who her source _was_, though it was obvious it interested him.

"Though," Tonks continued. "I really don't know what to do with this. I mean, I can't just go and tell him, can I? And who's to say he even _cares_? Malfoy might be just as black hearted as dear old dad."

"But," said Remus, his composure regained, "even if Lucius is and was black hearted, he still came back to Narcissa when Draco came along."

Tonks arched an eyebrow. "Are you saying…"

"…that Lucius and Narcissa weren't married when she found out she was pregnant with Draco?" continued Remus. "Yes, that is indeed what I'm saying. And as far as I know, Lucius was as close as you can be to being Voldemort's second-in-command at the time. But still, he came back to Narcissa, even though it might have cost him the trust and leadership Voldemort had so reluctantly given him."

"Wow," said Tonks, absently looking down at her fourth cookie. "I really would never have believed that if it hadn't come from you. So," she said, looking him boldly in the eyes. "What do you propose I, or we, do about this?"

"I'm not really sure," Remus admitted, giving a weary smile and a look to match. "I think I'd better sleep on it."

"In that case," said Tonks softly, creeping closer towards him. They were barely an inch apart, and the warm, electrifying feeling she felt whenever she was with him swarmed through her body. She bent her head and kissed him, tenderly at first, and then with increased urgency and passion like always.

"I love you," she murmured between kissing, already almost totally out of breath.

"I love you too," he replied, and managed a smile.


	19. To Love A Werewolf

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

_A/N: Sorry I've taken forever to update! My computer crashed (twice!) and had to go in the shop. So, I've decided to give a double posting! Thanks to EVERYONE for the reviews, and sorry if I have not been able to reply to all of them!_

Chapter Nineteen: To Love A Werewolf

In a dingy little apartment building, on the couch in the living room, Tonks shifted her position, beginning finally to wake up. She smelled bacon, and she couldn't go on sleeping knowing there was food.

Tonks gradually opened an eye, then the other one shortly after. She sat up, and yawned happily, that is, as close as was possible to having a happy yawn. She grinned and hugged herself, remembering the previous evening.

A sudden rustling brought her attention to the doorway of the kitchen, where Remus stood, watching her. She smiled again, and admiringly looked at his bare chest, which was surprisingly fit and almost totally covered in old and new hurtful-looking scars.

"Good morning," she said, standing up and stretching, still noticeably looking at his torso. "Have a nice sleep?"

Remus nodded down at her. "You're wearing my shirt," he explained, obviously feeling the need to. "I didn't want to wake you."

Tonks pouted. "Aw, do I _have_ to take it off? It's so pretty."

Remus raised an eyebrow, alarmed slightly by Tonks referring to one of his clothes as 'pretty'.

"I'll change in a sec," Tonks said, looking curiously past Remus into the kitchen. "Did you make bacon?"

"Yes. It was the only food I could find in this whole place. Is that _all_ you eat?" He asked, smiling, his voice teasing.

"I mostly go out," she explained. "I'm a bloody awful cook. Good thing I've got you," she said, her eyes dancing.

"Is that why you fell in love with me?" Remus said, pushing his greying hair back out of his forehead.

"The only reason," she smiled, gave him a quick kiss, and ran off to her bedroom to go change.

When she emerged, she was wearing a blindingly sparkly red sequin sweater, with a black mini skirt to match.

Remus was sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and reading the paper when she came out. He examined at her mildly, and she just caught the corners of his mouth twitching upwards, before going perfectly straight and serious.

"The people at work must love you."

"Oh, they do," she said, grabbing a piece of bacon from the plate he had laid out for her. "It kind of scares me, some days. Rumor is Dawlish has got some sort of shrine set up."

She looked into her tiny compact mirror, and grimaced at her messy blonde hair. "I think I'll be a brunette today," she added, and turned her hair a thick, dark brown.

When she turned back to Remus, she was disgruntled to see he had pulled on his shirt, and was getting his shabby coat from the closet.

"I'll get out of your way before work," he hastily explained. "Thanks for…well, having me, I suppose."

Tonks snorted. "Remus, you prat. You don't have to go, I'm usually late anyways."

Remus smiled, but did not back down. "No, I'll leave now. Maybe you'll to work on time today – " Tonks murmured 'Fat chance' quite loudly under her breath " – and besides, I have a few personal matters to arrange."

"Mmhhmm," she mumbled, still devouring her breakfast. "Like what?"

"Details about my mission."

Tonks put on a disgruntled face, but said nothing more on the subject. "Fine, well, I'll see you later." She kissed Remus longingly on the mouth, but he pulled away much too soon.

"I'll see you later, Nymphadora." And he turned, and went out the door.

Tonks was silent for a moment, until she heard the 'pop' of him Disapparating. Such a gentleman, she thought. Won't even Apparate inside my flat.

Tonks chuckled to herself, and tucked back into her breakfast. She wasn't going to able to get any work done today.

_Tap, tap, bang!_

Tonks abruptly stopped filing her paperwork and craned her neck towards the window.

A large tawny owl with an oddly shaped beak was tapping impatiently on it, staring right at her.

_Tap, tap, bang!_

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she murmured, and, quickly checking that no one was around, let the owl in.

As soon as the owl found somewhere to land, it annoyingly began tapping on her right arm.

"Ow – _ouch _– look, I'm getting to it, OK? Ow! Hey, that really hurt!" She shook her hand away from the owl, and skillfully untied the letter from its ankle one-handedly.

Tonks grasped the envelope in her hand, and studied the neatly, but hastily written 'Tonks' on the front. It was Molly's writing.

Tonks quickly opened the letter and read it. It said:

_Tonks,_

_Ron, Harry and Hermione are gone. Emergency meeting starting in five. If you can't get away from work, we understand._

_Molly._

_PS: Can you inform Kingsley? No time to send another owl._

Tonks dropped the letter and grabbed her wand off the desk, not caring in the least that she had just knocked over the tower of paperwork she had spent three hours organizing.

Her face was about three shades whiter, and many people gave her questionable looks as she forcefully squeezed herself into the already overfilling silver elevator.

Beside her, coincidently, was Kingsley.

"Where're you off to?" he asked, his tone vague. They hadn't been on the best of terms since the incident last spring. "I thought you had to work 'till nine."

"Er – I have to run," Tonks started, choosing her words carefully, trying to alert Kingsley without anyone else acquiring suspicions. "There's this thing I have to go to. It's an emergency. Er – my phoenix is…in danger."

Kingsley's eyes grew wide and his face brightened in understanding. "Good luck with that, then," he said, his expression and voice betraying nothing.

Tonks looked around in the elevator. No one seemed to have picked up on anything out of the ordinary.

Once outside of the Ministry, they turned to each other.

"What's happened?" croaked Kingsley, his face white.

"Harry, Hermione and Ron are gone," Tonks truthfully explained to him. "Molly's just sent me an owl saying there's an emergency meeting in five minutes." She checked my watch hastily, and bit her tongue. "Probably about two or three minutes now."

Kingsley put a hand to his head. "Oh, Merlin." He looked up at Tonks, his eyes blaring.

"Well, let's go then!" He said, the urgency and volume of his voice outstanding.

"Right," Tonks replied, nodding her head slightly, and Apparated shortly after him.

They hurriedly gathered themselves after their hasty Apparition, and ran into Grimmauld Place, both looking utterly terrified.

They found almost the whole Order bunched around the kitchen table, looking just as white and ghastly as Tonks and Kingsley.

Upon seeing their arrival, Molly Weasley burst into tears, Hestia Jones stiffened and sighed, and Remus merely looked up, his eyes dazed.

"OK, we can start the meeting now," announced McGonagall dryly, her tone brisk and serious and her expression the same. "Shacklebolt, Tonks, please take a seat."

Tonks immediately fell into the seat beside Remus, who seemed much paler and sickly-looking than usual.

"Are you all right?" she whispered hoarsely to him, receiving a nasty glare from McGonagall in the process.

Remus looked at her solemnly, his face pale and emotionless. He just simply nodded, and turned back to McGonagall.

Tonks felt her stomach churn terribly. This was eating him up, she knew it. And he was just going to keep it all bottled up until…

"So what are we going to do?" cried Molly, her face wet with tears and her hand clasped tightly onto her husbands.

McGonagall whitened. "I'm…not really sure, to be honest. They've just…disappeared. There's not much we can do, except perhaps sending someone to go and look for them…"

"Well, we have to do that, then!" Molly said forcefully, drying her tears and standing up, letting go of her husband's hand. "We have to find them! There are so many possibilities of what could of – and can – happen! They could – You-Know-Who could have…Oh, Merlin, they're all going to die!" With that, she collapsed and fell onto Arthur, crying once again.

Remus sighed, and brushed a hand through his hair. "We have to let them go," he said quietly, though his voice held such depth that everyone in the room immediately silenced.

"What?" gasped Bill, his mouth ajar. "We can't…I'm not…I'm not letting my little brother get blown into oblivion by You-Know-Who or…or any of his damn followers!"

Molly let out a wail of despair at Bill's words and starting shaking her head violently.

"Mum, calm down!" said Fred Weasley from beside her. He turned to Remus. "But they're right, we can't just let them go. They'll be killed!"

Remus looked up at Fred, his expression and voice still dull. "It was their choice to go. They're adults now. We can't stop them."

"Well, we have to do something!" exclaimed George, standing up, his face red. Tonks was amazed, she had never seen George so riled up. At least, not without his other half. "After all, we are the Order of the Phoenix. We can't just let them die!"

Remus looked up at him, his eyes flashing. But instead of saying anything, he just sighed and closed his eyes, the worry etched in the premature lines of his face apparent.

So, instead, McGonagall replied. "Of course we'll do something. We just have to figure out what. Remus does have a point, however. They are adults now."

Fred and George exchanged worried looks, Molly continued to cry, and Bill and Arthur began shouting random retorts at the exact same time. Tonks remained silent, just staring at Remus, who was looking down at his lap, obviously thinking hard.

Tonks watched his hands fidgeting terribly for a few moments before she slid her hands into them, stopping the twitching. It also brought him out of his thoughts. He turned to her, his mouth open slightly, and his eyes sharp.

He opened his mouth and then closed it again, before speaking almost silently. "Hello, Nymphadora." He forced a smile, before withdrawing his hand and brushing a hand once again through his greying hair.

The Order meeting lasted another hour or so, but Tonks couldn't concentrate. Remus really seemed to be in state over this. But why wouldn't he be? Harry _is_ practically his godson, she reminded herself.

As the stood up to leave, she snaked her hand into Remus' and made him turn to face her. Remus looked up, his bluish eyes a strange grey colour, and his face painted with worry and confusion.

"They'll be OK," she whispered, trying a smile.

Remus looked away at the wall, dropping her hands. "Let's hope," he replied quietly.

As Remus walked off, joining the rest of the Order, Molly approached her. "Why don't you stay for dinner?" She inquired kindly, her voice still shaking from crying. "We've been staying here at Grimmauld for a while now, if you didn't know. Dinner will be so lonely without…them. I would appreciate it." Molly smiled weakly at her.

"All right. I really had nothing else planned," replied Tonks, pushing an image of her and Remus waking up together again out of her mind.

"Great," said Molly, and, excusing herself, leaving Tonks alone in the kitchen.

As soon as Molly was out of earshot, Tonks groaned loudly and flopped back down on one of the chairs. Just as her personal war was ending, a different one was beginning.

---

Tonks sat at the dinner table at Grimmauld Place looking in awe at the endless supply of food set before her. Apparently Molly was a nervous cook.

"Isn't this wonderful?" exclaimed a near-hysterics Molly. "All…of us…together."

Molly smiled weakly, and Tonks felt herself wishing desperately that she wouldn't cry again. Just image what I must have been like all last year, Tonks wondered idly.

"Terrific," commented Arthur, who was staring intently at his food, as though waiting for it to do some amazing trick.

"Are you people crazy?" said Fleur loudly, her face noticeably tear-stained. "It eez not terrific! Or wonderful! Sometimes I reelly wonder…" Fleur ended bitterly, and dropped her fork promptly in mid-air.

As to have been expected, Molly burst into tears. "Oh, dear, we know. We're just kidding ourselves…" Molly turned quickly to her husband. "Oh, Arthur, I don't know what I'm going to do without them!"

To everyone's surprise, Fleur made a loud sound of disdain, and crossed her arms over her torso. "I deedn't mean them. I 'ave my own problems to, you know."

At that, Tonks turned to Fleur in surprise. "Fleur, seriously, I thought you had gotten over that whole Oh-Dear-Merlin-I'm-Pregnant-At-The-Worst-Possible-Time thing. I mean, Molly's right you – "

Tonks abruptly cut off and slapped a hand to her mouth. I did not just say that, she thought desperately. I did not just…

"_What_?" cried Bill, suddenly letting go of Fleur's hand and turning to Tonks.

"You…what?" He turned back to Fleur, his face white. "Are…are you?"

Instead of replying, however, Fleur turned to Tonks in outrage. "'Ow dare you?" she shrieked. "'Ow could you do zat? You…you do not know even the 'alf of it!"

Fleur stood up angrily, pulled her chair out with relish, and ran off into the hall, choking back tears.

Tonks sat, frozen, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly ajar. After a few moments of silence, she turned to Bill. "Oh, Merlin, Bill, I am so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean –"

Bill cut her off with a cold stare. "Don't start." He got up from his seat, and followed Fleur into the hallway.

Everyone's eyes drew slowly to Tonks. She reddened, and nervously began apologizing. "I am so sorry. It just – slipped out. Oh, Merlin, I am such a damn fool…"

But Molly stopped her. "No, Tonks, it's all right. Everyone…has times where things just slip out."

"It always happens to me, though," Tonks said, burying her face in her hands. "Oh, I'm going to see if Fleur's OK."

Tonks jumped up from the table, and scattered off into the hall.

Damn, she thought. Good job on making a total idiot of yourself back there.

Suddenly, a loud sob from beside her awakened her to the fact that she was not alone.

"Was…was what Tonks said true?" Bill whispered, his eyes shining.

Tonks pressed herself back onto the wall, disappearing into shadows. It wouldn't help matters much if they caught her eavesdropping.

Fleur looked up at Bill with her gigantic blue-silver eyes and let out a small squeak.

Bill neared her, and put an arm on her shoulder. "Fleur?"

"No," she finally admitted, a single tear slipping down her cheek. "No. I – I thought I was…g-going to 'ave a baby, but…I'm not. I was wrong." Fleur looked down at her hands and drew in a low, raspy breath. "I do not know why I am so upset about something zat never was."

Tonks froze in the darkness, and felt a lump to her throat. She was such an idiot! Why the hell did she have to blab that out she did? Merlin, why did everything just have to slip out her fat mouth…

Bill's jaw tightened, and he sighed. "You know, I couldn't help but feel…a little excited when Tonks said that."

Fleur looked at him sadly. "Eet is not the right time, Bill."

"I know," he said quietly. "But maybe…after this is all over…we could maybe think about it?"

Fleur sniffled, and wiped her eyes. Then, she looked up at Bill lovingly and smiled.

"Yes," she said simply.

Bill let out a strangled laugh, and embraced her tightly, his bright red hair mixing with her silvery-blonde.

Tonks took the opportunity to quietly slip back into the kitchen. Molly and Arthur were cuddling quietly, while Fred and George just looked agitated and restless.

"Wotcher," she said, as cheerfully as she could, breaking the silence.

Molly and Arthur looked up, but the twins just continued grumbling.

"Is…is everything all right?" asked Molly quietly.

Tonks gave a weary smile. "I suppose," she said.

---

Remus stood outside Tonks' flat, looking extremely weary, and extremely pale. He had been waiting for Tonks to come home for over an hour now. He hadn't thought she would be staying out this late.

He checked his watch for about the thirtieth time this evening. It was eleven o'clock on the dot. Maybe he should just go…

"Remus!"

He turned and saw an exhausted looking Tonks a few feet away from him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, and for some reason seemed to be trying to catch her breath.

"Er –" Remus took a step towards her and smiled wearily. "I – I didn't really fancy staying over at Grimmauld tonight. But, if don't want me –"

"No, no, no," began Tonks, straightening up with fury. "Don't you even _start_ that. I want you here."

Remus gave a low chuckle, turned and opened the door, which he had noticed was unlocked forty-five minutes ago.

"Also," he said as they stepped inside. "I have an idea about what to do about Draco Malfoy."

"Did that good sleep do you good?" she asked slyly.

Remus tried to remain serious as he spoke. "No, amazingly. Harry, Ron and Hermione running away actually triggered it."

Tonks face immediately fell. "I see," she squeaked. "So – er – is your idea, exactly?"

"Well, I expect you know that the Malfoy family was on unspeakably good terms with the werewolf Fenrir Greyback?" Tonks whitened, but nodded all the same. "And I know you know that he is…well, he has quite a few followers in the pack I'm going to rejoin in a few days."

Tonks face paled even more, and then turned a dangerous red. "Wait, what? A few _days_? Are you crazy? I don't…have…you can't do that!"

Remus sighed. "Please, Tonks, back to the point…"

Tonks drew a sharp breath, but remained silent, and nodded.

"Good. Well, I think it would be possible for me to somehow ask one of my fellows to send…this particular message along to Greyback."

Immediately Remus knew he had not phrased this in the best way possible. Tonks exploded with anger. "Are you joking? Remus, you can't do that! It could easily get to Greyback that you were the one that gave the message! And, that werewolf you gave the message to could tell anyone! Which wouldn't help matters much, would it? It would just turn into a damn rumor!" Tonks stopped abruptly, and looked over at a wall. Then, much more softly, she spoke. "And stop calling them 'your fellows'. You're different than them, Remus."

Remus simply looking at her, his quiet eyes tired and weary. "I have to get going." He stood off, and slowly walked towards the door, his thin figure swaying slightly.

Tonks stood up with him, her eyes wild. "Wait – you can't go! Remus, this isn't over!"

To her surprise, Remus turned on her sharply, annoyance seething off him. "Yes, Tonks, it is. I'm leaving tomorrow, and I need a good nights sleep. Nothing you can say or do will change any of my decisions. So please, I don't need you screaming at me again. Goodnight."

Remus opened the door forcefully and stepped out, not even looking back.

---


	20. Some Things Are Better Left Unseen

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

_A/N: Enjoy!_

Chapter Nineteen: Some Things Are Better Left Unseen

Tonks couldn't concentrate at work. Every five seconds, she laid down her quill, and began tapping impatiently on her desk. Every time she did that, Marcia Holland, whose cubicle was right beside her, would lean over and threaten Tonks, saying if she did that one more times, she would break all the bones in her body.

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap._

Right on cue, Marcia's blonde head immerged from nowhere.

"This is the last time," she shrieked, her dark brown eyes flashing with anger. "I swear, if you do not stop, I will beat you until you _die_."

Tonks gazed at her, her expression nonchalant. "Do you, by any chance, have some anger problems?"

"Don't push my buttons," Marcia growled, baring her pearly whites menacingly. "If anyone around here has issues, it's you."

Marcia flung around, and fell back into her own cubicle, disappearing from view.

Tonks rolled her eyes, and got back to her paperwork, keeping her eyes on the ever-so-slowly-turning clock.

At exactly five minutes to four, Tonks jumped to her feet and headed for the elevator, rushing past the slowly exiting people easily.

She arrived home, to a depressingly empty flat, at around six. She had walked home the long way, and her legs hurt like crazy. Tonks collapsed onto the couch and kicked off her knee high boots; suddenly wishing she hadn't bought them in the first place.

She clicked on the TV, and flipped through all the channels, wondering absently why Muggles made such boring shows. She finally settled on an American sitcom, about a group of friends that hung out at a local coffee shop.

After fifteen minutes of being a thoughtless, drooling TV zombie, Tonks forced herself onto her feet, and trudged into her kitchen, nearly tripping over a small duffel bag full of a few of Remus' possessions.

She peered at it peevishly for a moment, before her eyes widened realization and she let out an excited squeak.

He was coming back tonight.

"Oh, Merlin, Merlin, Merlin," she chanted turning around abruptly and headed towards the bathroom, absolutely jittering with anticipation. "How the hell could I have forgotten?" She murmured under her breath.

_Hopefully the fight we had has blown over by now. He can't still be mad._

She took one look into the bathroom mirror and groaned. Her hair was a mess, and her mascara had rubbed off onto her face. Quickly she washed her face, combed her hair and ran back into the living room, unsure what next to do. Tonks looked back down at the duffel bag, and sighed. He really didn't have much.

She bent down slowly beside it, and carefully unzipped the top. Inside, lay a tattered pile of clothes, an extremely old book of werewolf laws, and a small, greenish-red crystal ball.

Tonks frowned at the crystal ball, and picked it out swiftly. It fit perfectly into the palm of her hand, and as it absorbed its new environment, it began to change quickly to a pale grey colour.

She had seen one of these things before, but place what it was exactly, or where she had seen it yet. Tonks ran her thumb across its smooth surface and frowned.

Suddenly, the cloud of grey swirling around in the ball stopped, and a picture of something undistinguishable began to immerge.

"What the…" Tonks squinted her eyes, and moved her head forward, trying to make out the image. As soon as her nose touched the edge of the glass, she felt a dizzying sensation, and realized immediately what this was. It was a cheaper version of a pensive. And, she was being thrown into it, and into Remus' memories.

She held her breath and shut her eyes tightly; not opening them until she felt her feet safely hit the ground. Tonks relaxed her body, and glanced around. She was in Hogwarts. A slightly older version of it than she remembered though, of course. The grass seemed greener, and Hagrid's hut was painfully smaller and the vegetable garden was non-existent.

"Oh, Merlin," she murmured, looking around in awe. "I've always wondered what it would be like in one these things."

She turned, and almost ran into a lanky, greasy-haired sixth year. _Oh, Merlin,_ she thought, a shiver running down her spine. _It's Snape._

Smiling deviously, she decided to follow him. He walked, to Tonks displeasure, in a never-ending circle for about ten minutes, before trudging off towards the castle, his long robe billowing behind him.

As they neared the castle, Tonks began to get excited. Would it be different than she remembered? The tales that Sirius told her of their time at Hogwarts always seemed more exciting and adventurous than hers. Perhaps having three mischievous best friends wasn't the reason why.

Suddenly, just as they were walking into the Entrance Hall, a loud cry broke the silence, and a jet of red light came zooming towards them. The next thing she knew, Snape was hanging in mid air from his ankle, and a group of four boys were crowded around him.

"Oh, that was bloody brilliant, Prongs," said one of the boys, between boughs of laughter.

Prongs…Tonks' heart started beating like mad and she ran towards the boys, not believing her luck. She had found the Marauders.

She let out an inaudible shriek as she examined all of them. James, the one who shot the spell, was smiling with pride, and twirling his wand through his long, pale hands. His hair was, like always, ruffled up at the back.

Tonks eyes next found Peter, whom she frowned upon and skillfully resisting the urge to punch him in the face, not that it would do anything anyways.

Sirius was beside James, and she felt suddenly saddened as she stared at his younger self. His long, mysterious face was devastatingly handsome, and his dark hair framed his face to perfection. He resembled almost nothing of his self after Azkaban.

Last, of course, she turned to Remus. She let out a laugh, and felt her heart begin to beat in her chest. The teenage Remus, in her opinion, was the most attractive of them all. What was funny was that he obviously had no idea of it. He was looking with near boredom at the floating mass in front, and the faraway expression in his eyes told Tonks that he would much rather be in his common room reading a book. His surprisingly long, tawny hair, fell to just below his chin, and hung just in front of his eyes, so every few moments he would reach up and brush it away. His eyes, however, were just the same, bluish grey, and sparkling beautifully. The scars on his face that she grown so used to were almost non-existent, and the lines that heavily marked his eyes and forehead were nowhere to be seen. His teenage face was lovely, really.

Her tightened as she thought that, and felt a tad of guilt fight its way into her system. _You should love Remus as he is now, and not dream for the past._

I do, and I'm not, she thought absently, still slightly in awe of the Marauders.

A sudden cry from behind her awakened her back into the moment. She turned, and smiled, realizing at once whom it was.

Lily was running with anguish up the group, wand at the ready. "Put him _down_," she screeched, her red, angry face nearly matching her fiery hair. "What is wrong with you four? Well," she looked suddenly over at Remus, her arms crossed, "I do suppose you're different. But," she started, as James shot a death glare Remus' way, "_Why_ didn't you do anything to stop them? You're a prefect, remember!"

Lily swirled around, muttered an incantation, which swiftly dropped Snape to the ground. He groaned, stood up, and brushed himself off. "I don't need your help, Mudblood," he hissed, already starting to walk off.

"Oi!" James began, waving his wand wildly. "Don't you -"

"It's fine, Potter," Lily frowned, her jaw tightening. "And, as long as you are done being _idiots_, I think I'm done here."

Lily turned and began to head for the marble staircases, leaving the Marauders in her wake.

"She hates me," moaned James, ruffling up his hair absentmindedly. "She absolutely _loathes_ me."

"Yeah, she does," chirped Sirius, a satisfied smile spread across his bold face. "And she always will, mate."

"She can't," said James, straightening up and smiling. "Once she realizes how irresistible I am, she'll not reject me again. Don't you agree, Moony?"

Remus, who seemed to have been quite zoned out, looked up in surprise. "What? Oh…yeah, sure."

"Thanks for the support," James said dryly, turning back to Sirius. "So, now about the…"

But Tonks couldn't concentrate on what James was saying. Remus had slowly begun walking the same way as Lily, unnoticed by his fellow peers. Tonks quickly followed him, her eyes following his.

As they entered the Gryffindor common room, Remus stopped.

"Lily?" he called, his voice hushed and low.

A figure moved indistinguishably from the one of the couches. "Yes, Remus?"

"Er – could I talk to you for a moment?"

Lily stood up, her red hair and colourful face illuminated by the feisty fire behind her. "Sure." She gestured happily to the couch beside her.

"Thanks," replied Remus, walking over and sitting down. Tonks followed him exactly.

Lily smiled, her face glowing. She obviously didn't despise him as she did the other Marauders. "So, what is it?"

"It's about James," he replied simply, his face serious.

Lily groaned. "Oh, not him again. Look, Remus, I have enough of him and Sirius trying to convince me, I don't need you doing it as well."

"But Lily, look, he really does…"

"And, besides, I sort of…I sort of have feelings for someone else."

Remus froze, his bluish eyes wide. "You-you do?"

Lily nodded, her big green eyes looking deeply into his. "I do."

Tonks felt her insides twist uncomfortably. She had a nagging feeling she knew where this was going.

"C-could I ask who?" choked Remus, obviously very uncomfortable.

"You could," Lily replied smoothly. "But I might not tell you."

Remus remained silent, his breath heavy.

"Or I might," she continued, putting her hand silkily onto his. "You never know."

"I think I do," whispered Remus.

"I think you do," she replied. And, suddenly, to Tonks disdain, she leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.

Remus' breath caught, and his eyelids fluttered. Tonks felt her heart slip slowly down into her stomach and explode into a tiny million pieces. Suddenly disgusted by this, she shook her head. _Stop being so silly_, she told herself. _This is all in the past._

The next second, Remus' eyes flickered open, and he pulled away hastily, his hand over his mouth. "Lily, we can't – we can't do this!"

Lily folded her arms and narrowed her green eyes. "And why not?"

"James!" Remus exclaimed, his voice choppy. "I can't believe – he'd kill me! Lily, he _loves_ you! And he's my best mate!"

Lily sighed, and dropped her arms. "That's one thing I've always hated about you, Remus. You're too mature, too logical. We're in sixth year. You should deserve to have a little fun."

Remus looked down at his shoes. "I'm sorry."

Lily managed a smile, and comfortingly grasped her hand onto his. "Don't be, Remus. Someday that logic will pay off. And I swear, werewolf or no werewolf, you'll live the longest out of all of us. You're too smart, too safe."

Remus let out a strangled laugh and stood up. "Thank-you," he said quietly, his eyes shining.

Tonks put a head to her forehead and tightly shut her eyes. She'd had enough. She needed to get out of here. _Now_.

As if by magic, when she opened her eyes, she was sitting back in her flat, in the present day and age.

"Whoa," she whispered, looking at the small crystal ball in awe. Remus would kill her if he found out she had been in there.

A sudden cough behind her startled her out of her senses, and to her feet. She turned quickly, wand out. "Hey, I'm an Auror and –"

She stopped dead and dropped her wand. "Hi, Remus," she whispered, to the modern day thirty seven year old werewolf standing in front of her.

But Remus' eyes were glued to the crystal ball that lay in front of her. He looked up suddenly, his eyes stricken with worry. "Did you –?"

"Yes," Tonks squeaked. "I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to, I just –"

"Why are you apologizing?" he questioned, his brow wrinkled. "If you saw what I think you just saw, you should be…fuming."

Tonks just stood there, totally taken aback. "But…but…I just _invaded your personal thoughts_. You should be…wanting to chop off my head and feed to a herd of wild cattle or something!"

To her surprise, Remus let out a laugh. "You know, feeding severed head to raging cattle isn't really my thing."

Tonks shook her head, still in disbelief. "You are so amazing, you know that? I can't believe you aren't mad." She looked at him sharply. "Aren't you even the _tiniest_ bit mad?"

Remus observed her carefully, his grey eyes filled with honesty. "No. And aren't you just even the _tiniest_ bit mad at the fact that I…well, you know."

Tonks smiled. "It's all in the past. But," she added, her glare penetrating. "I see I wasn't your first girl to give lame excuses to."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I hardly think saying I didn't want to cheat on my best friend is a lame excuse."

"Yeah, but they weren't together," she whispered, rapping her arms around his neck.

"Yeah, but, in fact, they got together the very next year. And besides, if I had said yes to Lily, think how the course of history would have changed." At that thought, Remus' eyes darkened, and his jaw tightened.

"Don't dwell on the past, Remus," Tonks whispered into his ear. "If do, you'll never fully move on to the future."

Sighing, Remus nodded, swooped over and kissed her lovingly on the lips.

---

_A/N: _**THE END.**_ Perhaps, anyways. I'm not sure. Right now, I'm putting most of the ideas I had for this story, into another Remus/Tonks fic (but it is **NOT **a sequel), which I will post...soon. If I get anymore ideas for this story, I'll make a new chapter, or create an epilogue. But, for right now, it's 'the end' :'( . And yes, I really am terrible at endings. Anyways, I hope you and enjoyed and thanks, SO, SO much for the reviews, you people rock! _

Silver.Moon.Shining.


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